The Command Tower test

[RxPhantom]

When defeat is near and guidance is scarce, all eyes look in one direction.

Behold, Command Tower|Commander Legends a perennial staple that has been with us for a decade now. I've always thought the flavor text was perfect for this format. It eloquently emphasizes how one's deck truly does revolve around its commander. It suits some legends perfectly, like General Kudro of Drannith, Grand Warlord Radha, and Sigarda, Host of Herons. I've realized that not every commander is a thematic home run in the spirit of the tower. This occurred to me while I was thumbing through my mono-green deck (which I admit wouldn't run Command Tower in the first place), and this scenario started playing out in my head:

Arbor Colossus: Hi everyone. My name's Jeff. Thanks for coming to the meeting. We really need to put our heads together and select a leader. I know we're a motley crew of plucky, ragtag misfits, but someone should still be in charge.
*murmurs*
Elvish Mystic: This seems kinda obvious, but how about one of the freakin' gods on the team?
Rhonas: I would, but I'm dead.
Jeff: Ok, what about you?
Nylea: Are you devoted enough to sacrifice a boar at a moment's notice?
Jeff: *sigh* No.
Nylea: Then no.
Jeff: Lemme check the roster...hydra, hydra, beast, wurm -oh- is there a *checks notes* Surrak Dragonclaw here?
Surrak: I'd be honored to be -
Jeff: Hold on. Upon further checking of the notes, it's come to our attention that you were a lot cooler in another timeline. Sit down, please. Are we sure there's no one else here with any renown?
Outland Colossus: *raises hand* I have renown!
Jeff: Shut up, Gene! Who let you in?!
Eternal Witness: Cool it Jeff!
Challenger Troll: Yeah! You're acting like a jerk!
Gene: I was just trying to -
Jeff: So help me, Gene, if you don't get out RIGHT NOW, I will ram through you so hard you'll wish I was a Drill-Skimmer!
*stunned silence*
Surrak: Ummm...I just wanted to say that that bear over there is taking a sh-
Jeff: %$#% you guys. I'm done. The bear's in charge. *leaves*

I know that whole thing was dumb and silly, but the point is that Goreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma doesn't pass the Command Tower test. She's not a leader, strategist, or even sapient. She's a freakin' bear. Why is she in charge of my entire squad?

Anyway, what say you Nexus? Do any of your decks fail the Command Tower test in a way that is at least mildly funny? Do you have a deck that perfectly embodies the concept? Do you feel your time was wasted reading this? Are you going to send me an angry PM? Let's hear it. Not the PM though. I'm not gonna read that.

[pokken]

My harnfell deck short lived as it was probably the worst it's just this horn that we follow around.

[Mookie]

Ha, this is an amusing lens to view my decks through.

Samut, Voice of Dissent is definitely the most leader-ish of my commanders - she leads from the front by getting into the red zone and attacking, inspires my other creatures by granting haste, and provides pinpoint support via untaps.
Tasigur, the Golden Fang leads exactly as one may imagine a Sultai aristocrat to - by having everyone around him offer giant piles of tribute (read: mana). He doesn't get his hands dirty himself - that's what all the reanimation and necromancy is for.
Mizzix of the Izmagnus is an incredibly distracted researcher - she stays in her laboratory (the command zone) most of the time, and only comes out rarely to test a new theory via an Epic Experiment, after which the building explodes (because I'm storming off). If the experiment fails (or she is removed from the premises), she coops up in her lab again until the next endeavor is ready.

[Sinis]

I know that whole thing was dumb and silly, but the point is that Goreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma doesn't pass the Command Tower test. She's not a leader, strategist, or even sapient. She's a freakin' bear. Why is she in charge of my entire squad?

I think this selling inspiration short. People are inspired by non-sapient things all the time. In fact, peopl may have been inspired or 'directed' by bears even in real-world human history: the word 'berserk' is arguably derived from 'berr' + 'serkr', or 'bear-coat'/'bear-shirt'.

The part I would argue is that 'looking for direction' can mean a lot of things. Feral ferocity from Goreclaw could be a kind of direction.

... but I like this thread, so don't take my answer too seriously.

[Artaud]

Come to think of it, my Azusa (who doesn't run Command Tower either) is also hardly a leader. She looks like a dedicated traveller who likes to take long walks and while she's at it all the Eldrazis, Beasts and Elementals from a deck are running around in amok.

"Oh look, that's beatiful waterfall over there... hey, that's no swimming pool Behemoth! What are you doing with those trees Ulamog?! Give me some space guys!"

No wonder she's lost

[folding_music]

giggle time to run only ranking legends, Siona, Captain of the Pyleas's stock shooting through the roof. Grunn, the Lonely King's title becoming very paradoxical indeed

[TheAmericanSpirit]

My harnfell deck short lived as it was probably the worst it's just this horn that we follow around.

It's the magic conch shell!

[materpillar]

Huh... this thread is rather interesting actually. My commanders are kind of all over the place. I've got several funny fluffy ones.

My lord! The enemy are at our gates! Defeat is nigh! What shall we do?
Tivadar of Thorn - See that goblin over there?! %$#%!! HIM!!!! UP!!!!!!

*Dinosaur noises!*
Gishath, Sun's Avatar - *Angrier dinosaur noises!*

No one: ...
Lazav, the Multifarious: ... *turn into Gingerbrute*
*turns into Cephalid Inkshrouder*
*turns into Phage the Untouchable*
*murders someone*

"When defeat is near and guidance is scarce, all eyes look in one direction."

Chromium/Progenitus/The Ur-Dragon/Velomachus Lorehold are all powerful top end game ending bombs. So they all fit this quote perfectly.


Esika, God of the Tree // The Prismatic Bridge is the funniest flavor fail to me. Her entire purpose is to be my turn 3 play in my high CMC tribal as a way to accelerate me to the late game. She's far and away the weakest card in the deck even though she serves a pivotal role in enabling the deck to actually function. I have a funny mental image of Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker, Worldspine Wurm, Iname as One and Progenitus all quivering in fear and running up to Esika for guidance.

[Ulka]

this thread just has me staring at my Kogla, the Titan Ape deck and chuckling about how the command tower I could be running ( and now need to add) would just be the tower he would climb to give him reach for those pesky planes.

[Zealcat]

Arahbo, Roar of the World just lounges around in that command tower, roaring every so often from the distance to hype up his cat army.

Kumena, Tyrant of Orazca is basically Montezuma, and Mogis, God of Slaughter and Kefnet the Mindful are gods so they check out.

But Prossh, Skyraider of Kher..... he just flies along and eats his army, I'm not sure that's inspirational. Maybe inspiring of fear.

[Myllior]

Vial Smasher: "Strategy?"
Sakashima: "What he said."

Ayli: Stands imperiously at the top of the tower after raising angels, demons and dragons; basking in her underlings' awe. *Stabs the nearest ally*

[RxPhantom]

I have really enjoyed the responses in this thread.

I started to look over my other decks:

General Ferrous Rokiric and Kemba, Kha Regent easily pass the Command Tower test. Lord of Tresserhorn probably does too. He is a lord after all, and I think he's sapient despite his zombie-ness. Jenara, Asura of War does too as an admittedly generic MTG trope of the shiny, perfectly immaculate battle angel. Kykar, Wind's Fury seems pretty inspiring too.

I'm not sure about Merieke Ri Berit though. She looks like a harmless grandma, but her ability...it's like she can gain complete control over someone's mind, but once the connection is broken, her victim is dead. I picture that Command Tower flavor text again, and I think of another trope: the old man in the kung fu movie who can actually whirl and twirl over any fool that dares to step. Maybe Merieke's like that. I could see some kind of army coalesce around that.

I think the only real odd one is Goreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma. @Sinis is right that her kind of ferocity could be inspiring in and of itself, but she's not hanging out in a tower, strategizing and planning; she's out in the woods hunting and sleeping. Maybe I should get an alter to make her look more anthropomorphic, like Professor of Zoomancy.

[DirkGently]

Let's see...

Phelddagrif...probably not? Idk that there's much lore around Phelddagrif but I assume he's like a sort of magical unicorn that flies around and is just sorta mystical. Maybe could inspire an army but not lead it directly. On the other hand, there's basically no other creatures in the deck anyway so...?

Kaervek - absolutely passes. Pretty sure he does lead armies in the lore.

Zirilan - I mean he's clearly calling dragons and they're listening to him so I'd give it a strong yes.

Golos - Seems a bit isolated and emotionless to really do any leading. tbh I don't get the flavor of his activated ability, though his etb trigger makes perfect sense. I guess he's a maybe?

[Serenade]

Surrak, the Hunt Caller, Radha, Heart of Keld, Obosh, the Preypiercer, and Brallin, Skyshark Rider are all charging down the tower to lead everyone into battle. Makes sense. Obosh being the least human still guides the rest of my deck on a destructive path, regardless of "giving orders" or anything like that.

Sythis, Harvest's Hand supports from atop the tower. This one is weird because the enchantments aren't looking over at her for courage….but me, the planeswalker-player, would be, so I think I can stretch it to work. Probably the same for Kess, Dissident Mage or any other noncreature-focused deck. They also usually win via tokens, so that scenario works, too.

Charix, the Raging Isle is bigger than the tower. Just get out of his way.

[materpillar]

Phelddagrif...probably not? Idk that there's much lore around Phelddagrif but I assume he's like a sort of magical unicorn that flies around and is just sorta mystical. Maybe could inspire an army but not lead it directly. On the other hand, there's basically no other creatures in the deck anyway so...?

Your Jesus Hippo Alter is clearly doing the Gandhi style of leading (maybe more of the civilization Gandhi who threatens to nuke things). He totally checks out. Not you (because you have 0 other creatures lol) but your opponents armies look to him mr combo-breaker hard control deck.

[Sinis]

I think the only real odd one is Goreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma. @Sinis is right that her kind of ferocity could be inspiring in and of itself, but she's not hanging out in a tower, strategizing and planning; she's out in the woods hunting and sleeping. Maybe I should get an alter to make her look more anthropomorphic, like Professor of Zoomancy.

Or, like Ruxa, Patient Professor?

[PrimevalCommander]

Karador, Ghost Chieftain: Pass, chief is in his name. Seems like a good enough leader for dead things brought back to life.
Titania, Protector of Argoth: Pass, Titania is a well known figure in lore.
Daretti, Scrap Savant: Pass, planeswalkers are typically powerful figures that command respect and authority.
Yawgmoth, Thran Physician: Pass, like Titania, a well known and feared character with untold power.
Talrand, Sky Summoner: soft Pass, the deck is zero creature Drake beat down. So no other creatures to threaten his leadership. Just Talrand and as many Drake friends can can muster, slinging spells and smashing faces.
Yidris, Maelstrom Wielder: soft Pass, not sure about Yidris, the deck is built specifically for him, so while I don't know much about his lore, I call it a pass based on the deck being an extension of his ability and him generally being the focal point of the strategy. He truly leads the deck.
Kalamax, the Stormsire Fail maybe, I'm not sure how much of a leader Kalamax is, and while the deck is loosely geared toward getting him tapped, he is more for value generation and sideline win condition. He leads the deck into combat, as long as its a fight he can win. Otherwise he will sit back and wait for a tap ability to get his copy value on and sling spells from the rear.

[Sinis]

I was thinking about this again: How does this work for Angus Mackenzie? "We look for direction..." <immediately surrounded by opaque mists>

[RxPhantom]

I was thinking about this again: How does this work for Angus Mackenzie? "We look for direction..." <immediately surrounded by opaque mists>

lol. Maybe he's too lazy to get up and fight.

[materpillar]

I was thinking about this again: How does this work for Angus Mackenzie? "We look for direction..." <immediately surrounded by opaque mists>

That man definitely passes the test on art alone. His art screams Moses. I imagine him more like that. Leading politically, not with violence. Parting the Red Sea to save his people from getting slaughtered/slavery. Not all leaders have to be running at the forefront of the army stabbing people in the face.

"When defeat is near and guidance is scarce, all eyes look in one direction."
Opponent: Craterhoof Behemoth.
Everyone: *Screams in terror*
Angus Mackenzie: *Cracks knuckles*

[BeneTleilax]

Zabaz rules a swarm shining in mirror steel and flickering in binding arcs. Each piece itself a multitude unto itself, yet only a piece of them. When the time comes, they swallow their glittering aggregation back into themself to deliver the killing sting, immortal and slain a dozen times, legion and alone. Their tower is not built of stone, it is a solitary pillar of hexplate, glinting from a thousand pores.

Judith looks down from the barbs and spires of her tower, laughing while the moat turns red. No-one turns to her when defeat is near, she is the ruin that is nearing. She is a deist Satan; she gazes distantly at the engines of torment that surround her, and sees that they are good.

Pierakor seldom rests in the watchtower she flies from. Only cowards give orders from the rear. She leads from the front, from the sky, parrying spell and shrapnel. They are chaff before her righteousness. Her wings, bound too long, now stretch over the thermals of war.

Varina gazes out from her high mausoleum, while below, her battalions rise like waves, a sea of darkness and flesh to wash the land of life. The pits and forges churn without ceasing, the clouds never break, and the dead never cease. Her armies need no rations, no morale and no pay. Upon the stained and osseous balcony, she gives but one command: "Rise."

[Gashnaw]

Dragons: Can we eat it?
The Ur-Dragon: You can eat the people in it.

[Sinis]

Erayo, Soratami Ascendant - DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING!!!
Erayo's Essence - Idk, just chill, I guess.

[Henlock]

Pff, lets see

Asmira, Holy Avenger gets very angry when her followers kick the bucket. Yet she's asociated with people that just won't stay alive or who can get an endless cycle of death and rebirth in the blackest fashion. Her leadership style is quite questionable, if you ask me.

Kestia, the Cultivator is indeed a veey good leader. She's on the battlefield all the time attacking shoulder by shoulder with her men. She can even imbue them with her powers!

Osgir, the Reconstructor just tinkers around with gadgets, with some beings merely providing him services. He's a techy with limited social abilities.

Brion Stoutarm is an awful leader, flinging his men around. At least Avatars don't have feelings.

Ghost of Ramirez DePietro and Ravos, Soultender have a pretty shady agenda, but Ravos is a nice guy who can bring things from the dead.

Arixmethes, Slumbering Isle... I think he is, just not in a tower you know. Everybody working towards waking him up to make infinite mana or one-shot for lethal commander damage.

Tuvasa the Sunlit is a good leader, too. She works towars her fellow Merfolk overwhelming the opponents and she knows when to take the back seat. A very wise enchantress.

Celestial Kirin doesn't give a damn about anything, just bringing up destruction left and right. It looks celestial, yet it doesn't behave as celestially as you would expect. Ugin's Conjurant just made everything worse!

[Igzex]

Phelddagrif : It is a religious monument dedicated to our savior Phelddagrif. The collection plates are actually for you to take from. Take all the cards from them that you want just don't question why you have so few cards left in your library you're safe trust us.

Tatyova, Benthic Druid: The tower is made from the cheapest materials possible yet somehow it stands as strong as all those other extravagant command towers that have been erected in Gaea's Cradle and are full of reserve list treasures.

Kenrith, the Returned King: The tower is just full of death traps. Lack of caution could cause a fatal case of Tunnel Vision, cancer inducing False Cure Beacon of Immortality beams, having to mill to Helm of Obedience without having a graveyard to mill to, drowning in poison, and of course, whatever you do, do not follow Phage the Untouchable to her Fractured Identity mirror room...Or the Leveler either for that matter.

The Ur-Dragon: ...Wait how does that even work actually?

Xenagos, God of Revels: Or this one? I'd need command TOWERS to house all these monstrosities...

Golos, Tireless Pilgrim: A tower of trash in a junkyard of old, obsolete, and unwanted artifacts that has recently been officially condemned.