Worst Mana Curve Ever

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materpillar
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Post by materpillar » 1 year ago




The worst average CMC Deck that still functions



Recently played a Torment Block booster draft. Because Arcane teachings is busted in a set with minimal removal, I took first place and got a cabal coffers out of the rare draft prize pool. I thought I want to build a deck around this card. Well, Golos, Tireless Pilgrim basically makes it my general and I'm changing my Damia, Non-Infinite Elf-Storm into a Gaea's Cradle based Golos deck. How do I make a second Golos deck that is the complete polar opposite of my other Golos deck? Well that deck has 38 1-drops, it's mana curve is basically the best mana curve possible. What is the most functional deck I can make with the worst possible mana curve? I present to you, CMC matters Golos.

[edit]: Surprise, everyone hates golos! The deck is now an Esika deck because people hate her less...

Quick side note:
As of this writing my current elf-ball Golos deck has an average CMC of 2.26
As of this writing my current CMC matters Golos deck has an average CMC of 7.03, including lands a 5.4
Worst Mana Curve Possible

Commander


High CMC Synergy


Approximate Total Cost:

I've found this deck to be hilariously fun to play. Pyromancy is far and away the best card in the deck, especially if you get Cabal Coffers + Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth. Everyone always has to read Pyromancy and they get so confused. The first hit always results in some flavor of "ouch I got unlucky". Then, every card discarded creates this delicious mental shift from vague confusion to approximately "teenagers in a slasher flick" as they realize that every card in my hand is 8+ CMC.

Other highlights include playing against Kozilek, the Great Distortion and watching their deck utterly fail to be able to counter any of my spells. I've also hit someone with Mindshrieker for 30 damage (Mindshrieker is also the entire reason I'm not running Keruga, the Macrosage as a companion).

This deck has been fairly refined to make every Esika spin feel strong but not oppressive. Most of my boardstates can be swept up by a Wrath of God. As such I'm avoiding any and all common salty cards such as Expropriate, Blightsteel Colossus and every single eldrazi. I also found Skull Storm/Cabal Conditioning to be very uninteractive for my opponents.

Cards I'm still pondering are Culling Scales, Augury Adept, and Mercurial Chemister. I actively need Calibrated Blast.
Last edited by materpillar 2 weeks ago, edited 41 times in total.


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Haman
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Post by Haman » 1 year ago

too gimicky... you can cast very little spells before your Crystal Quarry,
Would have worked better if your lands are more g/b.
35 lands for a deck that need to get to 7 mana is pretty unstable.

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Post by materpillar » 1 year ago

Haman wrote:
1 year ago
too gimicky... you can cast very little spells before your Crystal Quarry,
Would have worked better if your lands are more g/b.
35 lands for a deck that need to get to 7 mana is pretty unstable.
Whoops, I didn't clarify. The swamps are all place holders for actual lands like Command Tower, I tweaked the deck some recently and I need to reevaluate specifics of the mana base.

The deck relies on urborg to turn on cabal coffers. I expect Golos himself will get killed at least once so I can use him to find Urbog and Coffers. If he doesn't, I can just activate him every turn which is also fine since he's likely to get so much value with each activation. How many total mana sources do you think I should be running? I guess I'd assumed 35 lands + 7 additional mana sources would be enough.
darrenhabib wrote:
1 year ago
Petrified Field is a good one to get back the Urborg or Coffers when it gets Strip Mine.
Oh right. I need vesuva and deserted temple too. I'm lightly worried the deck doesn't have enough answers to non-creature permanents. Is there any good expensive cards to deal with those like violent ultimatum?

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Post by darrenhabib » 1 year ago

materpillar wrote:
1 year ago
Oh right. I need vesuva and deserted temple too. I'm lightly worried the deck doesn't have enough answers to non-creature permanents. Is there any good expensive cards to deal with those like violent ultimatum?
Terastodon is the way to go.
Stealing is a way; Blatant Thievery, Expropriate, Memnarch
Legacy Weapon as an alternative mana sink.

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Post by Haman » 1 year ago

Elvish Reclaimer Crop Rotation Pir's Whim Tempt with Discovery
Trinket mage for your Sol Ring and Expedition Map

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Post by Tevesh » 1 year ago

My Golos deck is pretty similar with the idea of just casting obnoxious spells. It doesn't have any CMC matters pay-off cards like you do but you can probably take a look for ideas. It is intentionally casual so there's a lot of odd picks in there. It's just fun dropping bombs turn-after-turn. Like Sheoldred, Whispering One seems damned good to me, I also introduced a lot of pseudo-group hug elements to get the heat off of me in the early game and ramp to end. I don't run enough Basics for it but it might be OK for you but Oath of Lieges will Ramp you hard compared to Green decks that just aim to hard cast their bombs after Ramping hard.

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Post by materpillar » 1 year ago

Tevesh wrote:
1 year ago
My Golos deck is pretty similar with the idea of just casting obnoxious spells. It doesn't have any CMC matters pay-off cards like you do but you can probably take a look for ideas. It is intentionally casual so there's a lot of odd picks in there. It's just fun dropping bombs turn-after-turn. Like Sheoldred, Whispering One seems damned good to me, I also introduced a lot of pseudo-group hug elements to get the heat off of me in the early game and ramp to end. I don't run enough Basics for it but it might be OK for you but Oath of Lieges will Ramp you hard compared to Green decks that just aim to hard cast their bombs after Ramping hard.
Oath of Lieges sounds siiiiick. There's a ton of filthy landfall/ramp decks in my metagame so that card is perfect.

I played two games of this today. The first game one of my opponents sat down with Kozilek, the Great Distortion. Spoiler: He didn't counter any of my cards. I found this little deckbuilding matchup to be hilarious. That game a different opponent cast star of extinction to kill my urborg. I untapped and cast I cast Skull Storm, after casting my general 3 times. It had rebound. Then I hit one opponent with Searing Wind, also with rebound. They all died really hard. Great success. Turns out mana reflection is super good.

The second game I cast Lay Claim on my opposing token deck's Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite. My next golos flip included Storm Herd.

This deck does silly strong things but feels extremely fair. It has a lot of board control but it is really slow and everything is very easy to interact with. It also takes very very little time to pilot compared to a lot of the trigger/recursion loops of most EDH decks now a days.

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Post by materpillar » 1 year ago

I made a bunch of swaps in this deck. Focusing on upping the curve even more where I could plus shaving off some goodstuff and replacing it with more on theme cards. I also want the primary win-con to be beating face with big dumb creatures so I shaved out harder to interact with cards like Blatant Thievery and Skull Storm. I also shaved out more common finishers Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite and Kozilek, the Great Distortion.


-1 Brilliant Ultimatum
+1 Hedron Matrix

-1 Blatant Thievery
+1 Volrath the Fallen

-1 Duneblast
+1 Avatar of Woe

-1 Courser of Kruphix
+1 Thryx, the Sudden Storm

-1 Weathered Wayfarer
+1 Recross the Paths

-1 Aminatou, the Fateshifter
+1 Favor of the Mighty

-1 Nahiri's Wrath
+1 Riddle of Lightning

-1 Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite
+1 Sandwurm Convergence

-1 Conflux
+1 Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker

-1 Skull Storm
+1 Primal Surge

-1 Kozilek, the Great Distortion
+1 Deep-Sea Kraken

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Post by materpillar » 7 months ago

I'm thinking of swapping Golos, Tireless Pilgrim for Esika, God of the Tree // The Prismatic Bridge mostly to reduce salt. Also, it'd let me swap some of my lower CMC ramp cards like Cultivate for higher CMC ramp like Hour of Promise.

Here's some cards I was thinking of adding so I can still get Cabal Coffers Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth going.
Last edited by materpillar 7 months ago, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by pokken » 7 months ago

I hate Timesifter more than basically any other magic card but I'd probably consider it in this deck :P

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Post by umtiger » 7 months ago

When I see Crystal Quarry, I think Mana Reflection.

I also like the Esika switch.

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Post by materpillar » 7 months ago

umtiger wrote:
7 months ago
When I see Crystal Quarry, I think Mana Reflection.

I also like the Esika switch.
Every time I play a game with this deck and people don't have a good time, I cut the offending cards. Mana Reflection + Crystal Quarry allowed me to triple activate golos once and blew out the table. It got axed. It might go back in if I switch to Esika though.
pokken wrote:
7 months ago
I hate Timesifter more than basically any other magic card but I'd probably consider it in this deck :P
Yah, in terms of power-level it's a slam dunk. In terms of happiness of people playing against me... not so much.

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Post by materpillar » 7 months ago

Played my first game with the deck flipped to Esika, God of the Tree // The Prismatic Bridge. It's way way less smooth than rolling Golos, Tireless Pilgrim. Turns out having The World Tree in your command zone is way better than Birds of Paradise.

The game was me vs Anowon, the Ruin Thief, The Locust God and Vish Kal, Blood Arbiter. The Locust God cast an early Perplexing Chimera and then got his general stolen twice with it. He got mised by that really really hard. The game went pretty late and The Locust God managed to assemble Alhammarret's Archive and Skullclamp with his general. I had Lurking Predators and The Prismatic Bridge online. I got to smash Sifter Wurm, Inkwell Leviathan, Autochthon Wurm and Ghalta, Primal Hunger into his board losing Ghalta and sifter wurm. The next turn I transmuted Grozoth for Soulfire Eruption to mostly plague wind his tokens and dome him for 8 so I could slip by and finish him with Inkwell Leviathan and Autochthon Wurm.

Vish Kal, Blood Arbiter did a bunch of interesting stuff during the game that kept me alive. He was constantly throwing removal around to wreck boardstates and mine was never the most threatening until the very end. He managed to go infinite with my Primeval Protector, Puppeteer Clique, and Vish Kal, Blood Arbiter to wipe the board in the midgame. I cleared the board with Ondu Inversion // Ondu Skyruins and Scavenger Grounds.

The deck is sooooooo slow (shocking I know). I really want to slot in Play of the Game and Bell Borca, Spectral Sergeant.

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Post by materpillar » 6 months ago

The decklist has gotten quite a lot of changes. Since I swapped from Golos, Tireless Pilgrim to Esika, God of the Tree // The Prismatic Bridge the deck gets a lot less hate straight out of the gate. Especially when I cast Esika, God of the Tree on turn 3 and not The Prismatic Bridge. It also let me increase my curve since I expect to cast her on 3, so I swapped my 3-CMC Cultivate cards for 5-CMC "ramp" cards like Mirari's Wake.

As far as new cards, Sorin, Grim Nemesis has been a house. Early-ish interaction while also blasting people. Mirari's Wake lets me actually cast stuff. I'm thinking about trying to slot Mana Reflection back in (that got cut earlier to lower the decks powerlevel). Lurking Predators has also done fantastic work.

Infernal Genesis is a new addition I'm pretty hyped about. It milled my opponents Kodama of the East Tree which felt great. Bringer of the Black Dawn played well enough that I added Bringer of the Blue Dawn.

Bell Borca, Spectral Sergeant did amazing in his first cast. He hit Iname as One, so I could cast Ghalta, Primal Hunger for GG.

Excited for Keen Duelist but I haven't drawn it yet. Same with Vial Smasher the Fierce.

Adding Golgari Rot Farm and Selesnya Sanctuary turned out great. I've been using them late game to bounce my Turntimber Symbiosis // Turntimber, Serpentine Wood / Ondu Inversion // Ondu Skyruins. I find myself tutoring them pretty frequently for this purpose.


Noteable recent plays include making Mindshrieker as 93/93 with 13 mill triggers after I tutored it up with Iname as One and casting a Primal Surge for 0. I lost a clash with Recross the Paths which felt terrible. :(

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Post by Outcryqq » 6 months ago

I'm curious if Vial Smasher the Fierce would be a reasonable add, seems like you're focusing on mana production in order to cast these bombs...and if you're casting them, your vial smasher will be putting a lot of damage to the dome!

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Post by materpillar » 6 months ago

Outcryqq wrote:
6 months ago
I'm curious if Vial Smasher the Fierce would be a reasonable add, seems like you're focusing on mana production in order to cast these bombs...and if you're casting them, your vial smasher will be putting a lot of damage to the dome!
I just added Vial Smasher the Fierce during the last wave of additions. I haven't drawn him yet. I imagine he'll really like Bringer of the Black Dawn/Bringer of the Blue Dawn.

Also, he's a legend so, Esika, God of the Tree // The Prismatic Bridge makes him ramp.


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