Recently played a Torment Block booster draft. Because Arcane teachings is busted in a set with minimal removal, I took first place and got a cabal coffers out of the rare draft prize pool. I thought I want to build a deck around this card. Well, Golos, Tireless Pilgrim basically makes it my general and I'm changing my Damia, Non-Infinite Elf-Storm into a Gaea's Cradle based Golos deck. How do I make a second Golos deck that is the complete polar opposite of my other Golos deck? Well that deck has 38 1-drops, it's mana curve is basically the best mana curve possible. What is the most functional deck I can make with the worst possible mana curve? I present to you, CMC matters Golos.
: Surprise, everyone hates golos! The deck is now an Esika deck because people hate her less...
Quick side note:
As of this writing my current elf-ball Golos deck has an average CMC of 2.26
As of this writing my current CMC matters Golos deck has an average CMC of 7.03, including lands a 5.4
Dumb Large Things
Actually Less Expensive
I've found this deck to be hilariously fun to play. Pyromancy is far and away the best card in the deck, especially if you get Cabal Coffers + Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth. Everyone always has to read Pyromancy and they get so confused. The first hit always results in some flavor of "ouch I got unlucky". Then, every card discarded creates this delicious mental shift from vague confusion to approximately "teenagers in a slasher flick" as they realize that every card in my hand is 8+ CMC.
Other highlights include playing against Kozilek, the Great Distortion and watching their deck utterly fail to be able to counter any of my spells. I've also hit someone with Mindshrieker for 30 damage (Mindshrieker is also the entire reason I'm not running Keruga, the Macrosage as a companion).
This deck has been fairly refined to make every Esika spin feel strong but not oppressive. Most of my boardstates can be swept up by a Wrath of God. As such I'm avoiding any and all common salty cards such as Expropriate, Blightsteel Colossus and every single eldrazi. I also found Skull Storm/Cabal Conditioning to be very uninteractive for my opponents.
Cards I'm still pondering are Culling Scales, Augury Adept, and Mercurial Chemister. I actively need Calibrated Blast.