"Jank" cards which have flummoxed you?

[JoeyB11223]

So I think a few discussions on "hidden gems" have occurred before, where the cards are often pretty mainstream realistically. So I'm talking about cards which are worse than that sort of description, things which are probably too over-costed, narrow etc to be described as such, more "janky" stuff that don't appear in anything close to competitive. But situations where despite the card(s) being of this level, situations where they've just hit you for six because they absolutely turn off what you're trying to do and you have no removal to hand, or cards so unfamiliar you're never really prepared for them, especially older cards which may break the color pie?

Just thought it would be an interesting exercise and might inspire the use of such cards for those looking to add something different.

Examples might be (don't have to be instants of course)..

Winter's Chill against you when you're tapped out and swing...

Illusionist's Gambit when the other guy you're forced to attack has a No Mercy in play

Obviously times when you've done this to others is just as valid.

[Dunharrow]

I once had a very explosive start with Maelstrom Wanderer, which included a Pathbreaker Ibex. I think it was turn 3 or 4. I could have killed a single player but decided to spread the love and try to kill the table the next turn.

Then my opponent, who just had a Trinket Mage in play, cast Reins of Power and one-shotted me. Had never thought I would see someone cast that spell.

[CTNC]

I play City of Brass! I know a card that cost $10 for a good reason to doesn't sound like jank, but it is when you use it unironicly in Mono Color as a second copy of Nomad Stadium. (AKA the card that shouldn't have been in Cephalid Coliseum's cycle.) It's amazing how one commander, like Darien, King of Kjeldor, can give a niche to even the most insane of options.

Another card from the same deck that I will never cut is Acorn Catapult. I don't think I need to explain why.

[hyalopterouslemur]

Besides Darien, Acorn Catapult is really fun with, let's see, dinos, things like Blood Seeker and Suture Priest, Tainted Aether, Repercussion...

[pokken]

timesifter

Why is that damn thing even a card

[vandertroll]

I always get strange looks when I cast Mages' Contest in beatdown / heavy creature decks

[folding_music]

my old play-group was full of people brewing bad but funny multiplayer decks so I think I've won with and lost to a huge selection of terrible cards. this is way before edhrec, if you wanted to read about casual magic you looked up Anthony Alongi or whatever. i've died to Mystic Might fueling Cephalid Constable under Warped Devotion and I've definitely lost to having a Thunder Wall flung at me.

A really funny play that sticks out in my mind was me attempting to tap Sparksmith to kill an opponent who responded by casting Pariah (while having Rootwater Shaman in play) on their own False Prophet and having my whole goblin army wiped out.

[KMA_Again]

I once had a very explosive start with Maelstrom Wanderer, which included a Pathbreaker Ibex. I think it was turn 3 or 4. I could have killed a single player but decided to spread the love and try to kill the table the next turn.

Then my opponent, who just had a Trinket Mage in play, cast Reins of Power and one-shotted me. Had never thought I would see someone cast that spell.

Reins of Power is a pet card of mine and I run it in a few of my blue/x decks. It can be a fog, it can remove some creatures, it can even swing for a win (like you experienced). It's extremely versatile and people rarely see it coming.
As for "jank", I appreciate seeing rare/less-often played generals across the table. It can get very dull seeing endless Merens, for example, and when someone brings out something more unusual, it always makes me smile.

[3drinks]

Love the looks I get every time I cast Ritual of the Machine, honestly. It's good, and a pet card, and so many people can't get over permanent theft in B.

[materpillar]

Four player game. Two Esper combo decks, my mono-red Jaya and UW the worst cards ever printed. I completely drain my resources and barely manage to kill the two Esper decks utilizing primarily Heartless Hidetsugu.

I'm hanging on by a thread versus the UW worst cards printed deck. I died to a squire powered up over several turns by dragon blood which I couldn't block because of flying carpet and I couldn't race because of planeswalker's mirth. I will never lose to a worse collection of cards.

[hyalopterouslemur]

Love the looks I get every time I cast Ritual of the Machine, honestly. It's good, and a pet card, and so many people can't get over permanent theft in B.

Geth, Lord of the Vault exists. It's just that black is tertiary in theft (and there are even a few old theft cards in green and white; I still wouldn't want to see one today). Red is the temporary theft color more than any other, though blue can do it as well.

[RxPhantom]

Love the looks I get every time I cast Ritual of the Machine, honestly. It's good, and a pet card, and so many people can't get over permanent theft in B.

Geth, Lord of the Vault exists. It's just that black is tertiary in theft (and there are even a few old theft cards in green and white; I still wouldn't want to see one today). Red is the temporary theft color more than any other, though blue can do it as well.

Would it have killed you to just read the post and carry on with your life?

"Oh my! This guy things black theft is unheard of! I better shame him by pointing out a card I bet he already knows about, and then drive the point home with a quick color pie lesson! His mouth will be agape at my MtG erudition! He'll probably thank me for benevolently imparting such sage wisdom!" Ugh.

Anyway, a lot of newer/younger players tend to dismiss or misunderstand my favorite commander, Merieke Ri Berit. That is, until I get some footwear on her and maybe a Freed From the Real. I'm usually the Archenemy at that point.

[weltkrieg]

Oh, definitely. I am usually the guy pulling out the janky cards. I think my favorite "win" was a 4 player game with Norin the wary (Rube goldberg me) vs. Ulasht the hate seed (r/g token combo) vs. momir vig (infinite.deck) vs. oona queen of the fae (annoying, but also lots of mana).

Ulasht goes the turn before me and drops an earthcraft to go with his squirrel nest and everyone has a crazy board state. Mine wasn't too bad, but I had a goblin welder on the battlefield with 17 myr tokens thanks to an active norin the wary with genesis chamber out for a few turns, and no cards in hand, but a memory jar in the graveyard. I topdeck thornbite staff and start thinking. I have precisely 6 mana, and that goblin welder pretty soon had a thornbite staff on it. I used it to sacrifice a myr bringing back the memory jar, activating the memory jar...rinse and repeat. I managed to exile 85 cards from all players libraries (including my own, sadly), but it was enough for everyone else to concede. I don't think I ever had gotten a more rube goldberg win than that!

[Henlock]

Evangelize and Mirror Strike have given me so many satisfying plays...

[RxPhantom]

Evangelize and Mirror Strike have given me so many satisfying plays...

Oh my. I think I'm in love with Mirror Strike. That also reminds me of my fondness for Delirium!

[toctheyounger]

Reins of Power is a regular in Dralnu builds. It's clearly weird, but it works for a commander with such a considerable downside. It's not perfect, in that if you get swung at you can't just directly switch armies, so someone else needs to have an army you can pinch. But it's pretty cool regardless, despite being moderately redundant elsewhere.

My favourite jank at the moment is Honor-Worn Shaku. I never thought I'd use the card like...ever, but in my Grixis superfriends deck it's been an absolute all star. Come turn 4-5 I can pump out -, and it generally only goes upward from there.

Not really jank per se (well, I don't consider it jank anyway), but it stuns me every time how versatile Rakdos Charm is and how irregularly people use it or expect to see it. Taking out a token swarm player for is value you just can't get elsewhere.

[Rumpy5897]

My favourite jank at the moment is Honor-Worn Shaku. I never thought I'd use the card like...ever, but in my Grixis superfriends deck it's been an absolute all star. Come turn 4-5 I can pump out -, and it generally only goes upward from there.

That's a good catch, and apparently this is not as niche information as I thought it was given the fact it spiked pre-XLN. Cool stuff!

My mainstay jank is Righteous Aura in Daxos. It started its life as a stop-gap along such powerhouses as Gossamer Chains and Temporal Isolation, but it somehow managed to stick. Turns out having the option to blank big swingers and fireballs is actually pretty decent. I used to run Soltari Foot Soldier and Wei Scout in a part-Tymna build, I'm honestly a little surprised those haven't caught on to some extent.

[toctheyounger]

My favourite jank at the moment is Honor-Worn Shaku. I never thought I'd use the card like...ever, but in my Grixis superfriends deck it's been an absolute all star. Come turn 4-5 I can pump out -, and it generally only goes upward from there.

That's a good catch, and apparently this is not as niche information as I thought it was given the fact it spiked pre-XLN. Cool stuff!

My mainstay jank is Righteous Aura in Daxos. It started its life as a stop-gap along such powerhouses as Gossamer Chains and Temporal Isolation, but it somehow managed to stick. Turns out having the option to blank big swingers and fireballs is actually pretty decent. I used to run Soltari Foot Soldier and Wei Scout in a part-Tymna build, I'm honestly a little surprised those haven't caught on to some extent.

Thanks although to be fair I can't take credit - dementedkirby pointed it out as a possibility, and trialling it was a revelation.

Oh man, Gossamer Chains was one of the first cards I fell in love with. It was a recent release when I started playing, and I still have a couple about somewhere.

Shadow is a busted ass mechanic (in the right place at least) these days purely because no one else plays shadow cards. It thrives BECAUSE of it's jank status.

[Mookie]

The jankiest card I've lost to is probably Splintering Wind in an Enrage / Dinosaur tribal deck.
I've also participated in a miserable game against Timesifter backed up by Future Sight and Azami, Lady of Scrolls.
If we're going for maximum flummoxization, Eternal Dominion.... along with Hive Mind, Confusion in the Ranks, and Grip of Chaos. That game didn't ever finish - we just called it a draw, because we were only able to finish two turn cycles in half an hour.

As for my own jank cards that people have learned to fear.... Tombstone Stairwell is fantastic in my Teysa, Orzhov Scion deck - in terms of sheer number of death triggers and token production, it's pretty hard to top. Colossus of Akros is also fantastic, especially when you give it haste and double strike the turn it comes out. Turns out 40 points of damage with haste and trample is pretty good.

[toctheyounger]

The jankiest card I've lost to is probably Splintering Wind in an Enrage / Dinosaur tribal deck.
I've also participated in a miserable game against Timesifter backed up by Future Sight and Azami, Lady of Scrolls.
If we're going for maximum flummoxization, Eternal Dominion.... along with Hive Mind, Confusion in the Ranks, and Grip of Chaos. That game didn't ever finish - we just called it a draw, because we were only able to finish two turn cycles in half an hour.

As for my own jank cards that people have learned to fear.... Tombstone Stairwell is fantastic in my Teysa, Orzhov Scion deck - in terms of sheer number of death triggers and token production, it's pretty hard to top. Colossus of Akros is also fantastic, especially when you give it haste and double strike the turn it comes out. Turns out 40 points of damage with haste and trample is pretty good.

Tombstone Stairwell I can vouch for too. That card is truly devastating and totally bonkers. Most times I cast it in Varina, the cumulative upkeep is just negligible, because the game will end prior to my next turn anyway.

[Henlock]

My favourite jank at the moment is Honor-Worn Shaku. I never thought I'd use the card like...ever, but in my Grixis superfriends deck it's been an absolute all star. Come turn 4-5 I can pump out -, and it generally only goes upward from there.

That's a good catch, and apparently this is not as niche information as I thought it was given the fact it spiked pre-XLN. Cool stuff!

My mainstay jank is Righteous Aura in Daxos. It started its life as a stop-gap along such powerhouses as Gossamer Chains and Temporal Isolation, but it somehow managed to stick. Turns out having the option to blank big swingers and fireballs is actually pretty decent. I used to run Soltari Foot Soldier and Wei Scout in a part-Tymna build, I'm honestly a little surprised those haven't caught on to some extent.

I play Gossamer Chains in Estrid and it's a card I'm always happy to see early. The way it's worded allows you to protect your planeswalker.

Righteous Aura is truly awesome. Damage tends to come in huge chunks in commander and reducing it to 2 life for is a great deal. it's also worded in a way that bypasses hexproof and protection.

Good to see so many damage prevention cards being named. It's a bit of an underrated effect nowadays.

[lyonhaert]

I probably tend to be the one doing more of the flummoxing with not-often-used cards, though I've seen Rakdos Charm used in my group (so +1 to that card). Also +1 to Honor-Worn Shaku -- I used to run that in Norin and now run it in superfriends. While I'm at it, Reconnaissance probably deserves a mention, and Tarnished Citadel since Darien was brought up.

How about using Faceless Butcher to flicker somebody else's Prime Speaker Zegana? Withering Boon surprises folks, and I've completely altered the course of games with Head Games. In my Spiders deck, Gnaw to the Bone probably isn't the only jank but often catches opponents off-guard with how much I gain off of it (and that they forget it's in my graveyard for flashback).

I figure Homura, Human Ascendant kinda counts, too, and flipping him has inspired board wipes (my favorite being paired with Giant Adephage).

Edit: Multiple copies of Knowledge Pool might count, too.