New Challenge Every Day - October 14th: Thanks, I hate it

[void_nothing]

Today's Challenge: Thanks, I hate it

.::To Enter::.
In a single post:

• Name exactly two other players to vote for their entries for the previous challenge. (In the event that there are two or fewer entries that you are allowed to vote for, you may vote for only one.)

• Make a card that fits the current challenge.

• Include an "If I Win" (IIW) for tomorrow's challenge if you win.

Each day we use the challenge of the previous day's winner. In the case of a tie, we'll use the IIW of the tied player who has least overall points. In case of a further tie, the IIW of the earlier poster will be used.

.::Scoring::.

netn10 34 (+5)
Rithaniel 29 (+3)
Raptorchan 27 (+3)
FrostBoss216 23 (+5)
LandellXil0cent 18 (+0)
void_nothing 17 (+1)
Komandon 15 (+1)
CunningGabe 12 (+2)
KB52665 9
Apellosine 1

.::Note of the Day::.

.::Yesterday's Submissions::.
Elementary School

Votes: FrostBoss216, Rithaniel

Goblingrad Elementary
Land (U)
Goblins you control get +1/+1 for each lore counter on Goblingrad Elementary.
, Sacrifice a Goblin: Put a lore counter on Goblingrad Elementary. Then flip a coin. If you win, untap Goblingrad Elementary. If you lose, sacrifice Goblingrad Elementary.

IIW: Permanent that gains and/or loses card types

Votes: FrostBoss216, Raptorchan

It's Elementary 0
Sorcery - Lesson (Uncommon)
This spell can't start in your main deck.
Learn.

IIW: A new subtype for instants and sorceries.

Votes: FrostBoss216, void_nothing

School Bullying 1r
Instant (C)
School Bullying deals 4 damage to target creature or planeswalker. Its controller learns. (They may reveal a Lesson card they own from outside the game and put it into their hand, or discard a card to draw a card.)

IIW: Different mana values

Votes: netn10, Rithaniel

Recess 2R
Sorcery (R)
Untap all creatures you control with mana value 3 or less. After this main phase, there is an additional combat phase followed by an additional main phase.

IIW: Murder Mystery

Votes: Raptorchan, netn10

Take Attendance 4gg
Instant (R)
Search your library for up to two creature cards and put them onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle.
You gain 1 life for each creature you control.

IIW: "Choose one:"

Votes: FrostBoss216, Rithaniel

Votes : Raptorchan , netn10

Torturous School Play 1GbB
Instant (rare)
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn. All players discard their hand and skip their next draw step.


IIW: Bureaucracy

Votes: Komandon, CunningGabe

Substitute Teacher
Creature Human Advisor (U)
Substitute Teacher costs for each Human your opponent's control.
Substitute Teacher enters the battlefield wit h your choice of a lifelink or menace counter on it.
If Substitute Teacher has a menace counter on it, it gets +2/+0.
If Substitute Teacher has a lifelink counter on it, it gets +0/+2.
2/3

IIW: dogs

Votes: FrostBoss216, netn10

Cafeteria
Land R
: Add .
, , Tap an untapped creature you control: Create a tapped Food token.
"Why did you choose you employ a hydra as the lunch lady?"
—Mr. Kamdin, Math Teacher

IIW: Land with the main goal of mana fixing

cunninggabe netn10

[netn10]

Votes: Raptorchan, FrostBoss216

Sit Down W
Enchantment (Rare)
Spells cost 3 more to cast.
Whenever a player cast a spell, sacrifice Sit Down and that player draws a card.

IIW: Tax

[CunningGabe]

Votes: Frostboss216, Rithaniel

Unexpected Item in Battle Area W
Instant (U)
Buyback 3
Target player removes a creature they control from combat.

IIW: Bears

[Raptorchan]

Votes: CunningGabe, LandellXil0cent

Chief Executioner 3ww
Creature — Human Cleric (R)
Whenever a source an opponent controls deals excess damage, Chief Executioner deals damage equal to the excess to that opponent.
"I said ten whiplashes. Not fifty."
4/4

IIW: Enemy colors

[void_nothing]

Votes: KB52665, CunningGabe

Foist Off 5R
Sorcery (R)
Target opponent gains control of target permanent you own and/or control. That permanent gains "At the beginning of your end step, this permanent deals damage equal to its mana value to you."

IIW: Common Angels

[FrostBoss216]

Votes: Komandon, LandellXil0cent

Severina, Rakdos Dissipator 2bbr
Legendary Creature — Human Wizard (M)
This spell can't be countered.
Whenever you cast Severina, Rakdos Dissipator or another spell, each opponent discards a card.
At the beginning of your end step, each player with no cards in hand lose 3 life.
"It starts from the inside, and feeds its way to the outside. Dissolving your life away. One atom at a time."

IIW: vanishing

[Komandon]

Votes: net10 , LandellXil0cent

Reverse Triton 1U
Creature - Merfolk (uncommon)
When Reverse Triton enters the battlefield put a flood counter on target land you don't control. Lands with flood counters are Islands in addition to its other types.
Reverse Triton can't be blocked if defending player controls an island.
U, Sacrifice a land: Return Reverse Triton to its owners hand and remove a counter from target noncreature permanent.
1/1
"What in the name of Svyelun is that? A fish head and torso and what looks to be human below what I'm guessing is the waist. I'm going to be sick." — Random Vodalians denizen


IIW: Shakespeare with a flavor text of a quote from one of his works.

[kwanyeegor-ii]

raptorchan landelxil0cent

[Rithaniel]

Votes: FrostBoss216, Komandon (the green and black symbols are in reverse order, though)

Eidolon of Endless Answers
Creature - Spirit R
Whenever you cast a spell, you draw ten cards.
"No! No! I've heard enough! Mercy!"
3/3

IIW: Man-land that is also a sac-land