NEXUS FLAMINGO ☆ Exclusively For Custom Card Connoisseurs and Gnomes

[Juancu]

Goblin Autopilot 0
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped Vehicle is a creature and attacks each turn if able.
Equip R

Also known as the good old rock in the pedal.

[Cythare]

Goblin Cousin Remover 0
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has "1, T, Sacrifice Rock: This creature deals 2 damage to any target."
Equip 1
"Brought to you by Toggo Incorporated, the newest cousin removing technology when your cannon no longer needs fodder."[/b]

IIW: Peasants or Serfs

Wait, but...what is Rock?

[Ulka]

Goblin Cousin Remover 0
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has "1, T, Sacrifice Rock: This creature deals 2 damage to any target."
Equip 1
"Brought to you by Toggo Incorporated, the newest cousin removing technology when your cannon no longer needs fodder."[/b]

IIW: Peasants or Serfs

Wait, but...what is Rock?

Thanks for the catch.

[Megiddo]

Goblin Cousin Remover 0
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has "1, T, Sacrifice Rock: This creature deals 2 damage to any target."
Equip 1
"Brought to you by Toggo Incorporated, the newest cousin removing technology when your cannon no longer needs fodder."[/b]

IIW: Peasants or Serfs

Wait, but...what is Rock?

Thanks for the catch.

i just want to participate in the broken tag quote chain

[Ulka]

Wait, but...what is Rock?

Thanks for the catch.

i just want to participate in the broken tag quote chain

well then welcome to rock catch 2022 Meg!

[Megiddo]

@stille_nacht judge?

[stille_nacht]

WIP

[stille_nacht]

Titanmech Prototype Titanmech Prototype

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Titanmech Prototype 3
Legendary Artifact - Vehicle (M)
Whenever Titanmech Prototype becomes crewed, you may sacrifice any number of nonland permanents. If you do, flip that many coins. If you win more than four flips, transform Titanmech Prototype.
Crew 2
3/4

//

Titanmech V3608
Legendary Artifact Creature - Construct (M)
First strike, flying, vigilance, trample, haste, protection from artifacts and from enchantments
If Titanmech V3608 would die, exile it and return it to the battlefield transformed instead.
13/13

IIW: The next Modern Horizons set is Magic: What If...?, where Wizards ponders alternate universes like "What if Josu became a necromancer?" and "What if Ugin beat Bolas?"

Ridiculous: 5/5 - It is quite ridiculous, given its mechanics
Goblins: 2/5 - This one doesn't really do it for me, there are a lot of disparate elements, which while they might be connected in flavor to goblins doesn't really speak to me. The coin flipping is goblin, but something like "v3608" is certainly not. Flying vigilance and protection on a huge titan mech says more Ikoria x Neon dynasty than something a goblin might make.

Spiked Armor

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Spiked Armor (Rare)
1
Artifact – Equipment
1: Until end of turn, equipped creature gets -1/-1 and gains your choice of double strike, deathtouch, haste, hexproof, indestructible, lifelink, menace, reach, trample, or vigilance.
Equip — Pay 1 life
You idiots! You put the spikes on the wrong side!


IIW: outside the game

Ridiculous: 5/5 - It is a ridiculous mistake to make
Goblins: 4/5 - This is exactly the kind of stupid think I'd imagine a goblin making, and they even use it because "it works" which is funny. I'd question the range of choice you gave though; why can or should it give hexproof/indestructible/ lifelink/ reach?
Arbitrary point deduction: -1/-1 - I think this is actually too strong, given there is no inherent debuff. Certainly I can't imagine a standard where an equipment that gives creatures double strike / deathtouch for 2 mana at instant speed // also gives lifelink for unblocked creatures at instant speed won't be problematically ubiquitous at 1 generic mana + 1 life to equip.

Goblin Microscope

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Goblin Microscope

Artifact Creature - Dreadnaught (U)
As an additional cost to cast this spell, tap six untapped Goblins you control.
Trample
Goblin Microscope can't attack or block unless you tap six untapped Goblins you control.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by Goblin Microscope this turn dies, if its power and toughness are both 1 or less, draw a card.
10/10


IIW: A card named Applejack Moose is wrecking all formats; Vintage, Legacy, Modern, even Commander and Pauper. Normally, that would call for a ban, but Applejack Moose has exploded in popularity far beyond the scope of MtG, achieving meme status in pop culture. The executive board of Hasbro has explicitly ordered that Applejack Moose is not to be banned or issued errata, no matter what, and is in fact to be reprinted extensively. What card will you design to salvage the metagame?

Ridiculous: 5/5 - Giant microscope dreadnaught is ridiculous
Goblin: 4/5 - Overly large microsoft fit right into the wheelhouse of what I was looking for, although somehow its overall effect (tapping creatures, drawing cards) didn't feel quite perfect. I wish this had flavor text so I had a clearer idea of what it's doing. Are they making a solar beam? Are they ramming into stuff? I'm curious
Arbitrary comment: This is a really confusing IIW. We're supposed to design a hate card for a card, but we don't know what that card does, but the hate card has to correct the metagame, every metagame? Just seems like a lot of steps

Goblin Gigatank

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Goblin Gigatank 15
Artifact Creature- Juggernaut (R)
Improvise, Convoke, Delve
1, Sacrifice an artifact or creature: Goblin Gigatank gains your choice of indestructible, hexproof, or trample until end or turn.
"Engage shields! ...Here's two shields. Go engage them."
15/15

iiw: Nonblue cards in an underwater world

Ridiculous: 4/5 - As a giga tank, it is nevertheless still a normal vehicle raised to ridiculous proportions
Goblin 5/5: - Goblin shields are very goblin. I only wish the flavor text managed punting a goblin into the furnace to get trample ha.
Arbitrary comment: Balance concerns on this one. Improvise, Convoke, and Delve together seem awfully dangerous. I think it's ok at 15 mana, but the fact that once it comes down, it can blank removal afterwards is a little concerning.

Reverse Wallbreaker

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Reverse Wallbreaker 3R
Artifact - Vehicle
Whenever Reverse Wallbreaker becomes a creature on your turn, tap it and create two 1/1 red Goblin creatures tapped. Until your next turn, each creature that's attacking you has Trample.
Crew 2
1/6

IIW: not this again

ridiculous 5/5 - it's super ridiculous
goblin - 2/5: I don't quite get this one. How is it reverse-wallbreaking and creating goblins? Are goblins the "wall"? Why would a reverse wall breaker, that ostensibly builds walls, giving opponents trample? Just not sure on the intent

Goblin Dental Pick 2

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Goblin Dental Pick 2
Artifact — Equipment (U)
Equipped creature gets +2/+0.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a creature, create a Food token.
Equip 2
"The crunchy bits really pull the coulis together."
—Shaszia, goblin saucier

IIW: a 4cmc uncommon creature

Ridiculous - 3/5: While its use as a dental pick is ridiculous, it remains a sharp pick, which isn't too ridiculous a contraption.
Goblin - 5/5: Very goblin. Very gross. But very goblin.

Krark's Prosthetic Thumb 1R

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Krark's Prosthetic Thumb 1R
Artifact - Equipment
Equip abilities you activate targetting equipped creature cost 1 less to activate.
Whenever equipped creature attacks, it deals X damage to target creature defending player controls, where X is the number of equipment attached to equipped creature.
Equip 2
"So first, I thought that I just wanted a thumb again, but then I wondered what else I could build into it. Before I knew it, this happened." - Krark, the thumbless.

IIW: Wild Speculation about Streets of New Capenna.

Ridiculous: - 3.5/5: Welll it's kinda ridiculous, but it sounds just kinda useful. Super good prosthetic thumb. That's downright, reasonable thing to want.
Goblin - 3.5/5: Krark clan did use artifacts a lot it's true, but just doing extra damage and equipping easier is more "smart artificer goblin" and less "ridiculous goblin thing held together by spit".

Goblin Boomstrapper 1R

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Goblin Boomstrapper 1R
Artifact Creature — Equipment Goblin {R}
Equipped creature has menace.
Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, sacrifice it. When you do, Goblin Boomstrapper deals 3 damage to any target.
Reconfigure 2R (R: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn't a creature.)
2/1

IIW:

Ridiculous - 5/5: I dunno why, the image of an "equipment" that's just a goblin with a bomb that holds on to you is very funny to me.
Goblin - 5/5: Goblin as Goblin grenade. menace is great flavor. I was going to say it should also blow up when it attacks, but the idea that it has the determination to properly play its totally reasonable job as a backpack is still fun.

Goblin Cousin Remover

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Goblin Cousin Remover 0
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature has "1, T, Sacrifice Goblin Cousin Remover: This creature deals 2 damage to any target."
Equip 1
"Brought to you by Toggo Incorporated, the newest cousin removing technology when your cannon no longer needs fodder."

IIW: Peasants or Serfs

Ridiculous - 2.5/5: Despite the cousin-killing specificity, this just seems like it could be an arrow. Without more to go on it's hard to give it a higher score.
Goblin - 5/5 : "Cannon no longer needs fodder"

Goblin Autopilot 0

SPOILER

Show

Hide

Goblin Autopilot 0
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped Vehicle is a creature and attacks each turn if able.
Equip R

Also known as the good old rock in the pedal.

Ridiculous - 4/5: The image of just a rock being called an autopilot is funny, but a rock itself is mundane. High score for overall effect.
Goblin - 4/5: It is very goblin but nothing is blowing up or dying and the rock isn't getting dislodged. In context it's great, but I could rename this to "magnetic acceleration" with some artificer art as well.

Winner is @Megiddo with Goblin Boomstrapper
Honorable Mention: Goblin Microscope, Spiked Armor

Next:

[NinjaCaterpie]

There are Goblins in Neon Dynasty :^)

Drill It In 2B
Sorcery (R)
Learn. You lose 2 life.
Storm.
"How many times do I have to teach you this lesson?"

IIW: The next Modern Horizons set is Magic: What If...?, where Wizards ponders alternate universes like "What if Josu became a necromancer?" and "What if Ugin beat Bolas?"

[Mergatroid_Jones]

Student Teacher 1W
Creature- Human (U)
Mentor (When this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on target attacking creature with lesser power.)
Training (When this creature attacks with another creature with greater power, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
2/2

IIW: A new artifact or enchantment subtype

[chetoos]

Brion Davos Gillbert 1UR
Legendary Creature - Merfolk Advisor (Rare)
Whenever you cast a non-creature spell, scry 1.
Whenever you scry any amount of cards, put that many knowledge counters on Brion Davos Gillbert.
XrR, remove X knowledge counters from Brion: Brion deals X damage to any target. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
3UU, remove 10 knowledge counters from Brion: Take an extra turn after this one. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
"And that is the proper correct timeline of how the Gods came to be. Fight me, Thassa!"
1/4

IIW: Wild Speculation about Streets of New Capenna

[Juancu]

Streetwise Alley
Land
Streetwise Alley enters the battlefield tapped.
Rogues and Curses you own outside the game are Lessons.
T: Add U or B

Hushstone, Ancient Chronicle
Legendary Land
T: Add C.
T: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a Saga spell. If you do, that spell has "[0] Learn." (do 0 instead of adding its first counter.)

IIW: not this again

[vishamon]

Flawless Lecture u
Instant U
Each opponent learns. For each card put into an opponent's hand this way, create a treasure.
Draw a card.
When salarys were linked to student outcomes, the lecturers began manipulating the student rosters.

IIW: po-ta-toes

[Ulka]

Dissonant Lecture 1B
Sorcery
Target player learns then that player reveals their hand. You choose a nonland nonlesson card from it. That player discards that card.

IIW: Peasants of Serfs

[Megiddo]

tomorrow shall be the time for learning.

[NinjaCaterpie]

Time for a switcheroo. Post the meme entry first to soften up the judge, then submit the real entry at the end.

Overworked Instructor 2W
Creature - Human Soldier (R)
When Overworked Instructor attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on each other attacking creature with less power, then put a +1/+1 counter on Overworked Instructor.
"These kids mean everything to me and I'll be damned if I let legion politics stop me from making sure they're fit to fight."
4/2

IIW: The next Modern Horizons set is Magic: What If...?, where Wizards ponders alternate universes like "What if Josu became a necromancer?" and "What if Ugin beat Bolas?"

[Legend]

Social Studies (Rare)
5
Sorcery – Lesson
Learn for each creature you control.

IIW: black-bordered outside the game

[Juancu]

Efeba, Clique Breaker WU
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
If Efeba is your commander, you have a 15 card sideboard.
R, T, Discard a card: Learn.
BG: Each opponent may exile a Lesson card from your graveyard, and may cast that card as long as it's exiled. For each opponent that exiled a card this way, learn.
2/3

[Cythare]

Weekend Detention 1W
Enchantment — Aura (U)
Enchant creature or planeswalker
When Weekend Detention enters the battlefield, enchanted permanent's controller learns.
Enchanted permanent can't attack, block, or crew Vehicles, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

IIW: a 4cmc uncommon blue creature

[Megiddo]

Drill It In 2B
Sorcery (R)
Learn. You lose 2 life.
Storm.
"How many times do I have to teach you this lesson?"

IIW: The next Modern Horizons set is Magic: What If...?, where Wizards ponders alternate universes like "What if Josu became a necromancer?" and "What if Ugin beat Bolas?"

I feel only Crushing Disappointment in this entry. 2 life is a lot, even if this does let you put a ton of cards into your hand. Maybe it's actually good.

Student Teacher 1W
Creature- Human (U)
Mentor (When this creature attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on target attacking creature with lesser power.)
Training (When this creature attacks with another creature with greater power, put a +1/+1 counter on this creature.)
2/2

IIW: A new artifact or enchantment subtype

Cute pun. Getting two bites at the apple means that this has value all up and down the chain.

Brion Davos Gillbert 1UR
Legendary Creature - Merfolk Advisor (Rare)
Whenever you cast a non-creature spell, scry 1.
Whenever you scry any amount of cards, put that many knowledge counters on Brion Davos Gillbert.
XrR, remove X knowledge counters from Brion: Brion deals X damage to any target. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
3UU, remove 10 knowledge counters from Brion: Take an extra turn after this one. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
"And that is the proper correct timeline of how the Gods came to be. Fight me, Thassa!"
1/4

IIW: Wild Speculation about Streets of New Capenna

Thanks for the link. I've never watched this guy, so I'm going to have to go on the card itself. This is a lot of words (9 lines). My instinct would be to condense; I don't see the relation between the red and blue abilities. Could you find something more harmonious?

Streetwise Alley
Land
Streetwise Alley enters the battlefield tapped.
Rogues and Curses you own outside the game are Lessons.
T: Add U or B

Hushstone, Ancient Chronicle
Legendary Land
T: Add C.
T: Add one mana of any color. Spend this mana only to cast a Saga spell. If you do, that spell has "[0] Learn." (do 0 instead of adding its first counter.)

IIW: not this again

Street smarts! It's a parasitic card; I'm not sure this line of text is best on a land, either. But there's something here. Your second card I have similar feedback for: There's something here, but I'd like to see this go through some refinement. I feel like there's a lot of space to play with ability modification.

Flawless Lecture u
Instant U
Each opponent learns. For each card put into an opponent's hand this way, create a treasure.
Draw a card.
When salarys were linked to student outcomes, the lecturers began manipulating the student rosters.

IIW: po-ta-toes

I assume your opponent will decline to take any action 9/10 times, meaning that this is just Reach Through Mists. But I could definitely see getting a treasure or two in a multiplayer game.

Dissonant Lecture 1B
Sorcery
Target player learns then that player reveals their hand. You choose a nonland nonlesson card from it. That player discards that card.

IIW: Peasants of Serfs

I like this. Compares well with Lay Bare the Heart -- You're going to be able to get any card you want, but the loot value might be good enough for them to balance it. I could see this being undercosted, though.

Time for a switcheroo. Post the meme entry first to soften up the judge, then submit the real entry at the end.

Overworked Instructor 2W
Creature - Human Soldier (R)
When Overworked Instructor attacks, put a +1/+1 counter on each other attacking creature with less power, then put a +1/+1 counter on Overworked Instructor.
"These kids mean everything to me and I'll be damned if I let legion politics stop me from making sure they're fit to fight."
4/2

IIW: The next Modern Horizons set is Magic: What If...?, where Wizards ponders alternate universes like "What if Josu became a necromancer?" and "What if Ugin beat Bolas?"

Speaking of multiple bites at the apple...
Rare is the right place for this, since it will grow on every attack and always outpace its students. It's a lot of power for not a lot of mana.

Social Studies (Rare)
5
Sorcery – Lesson
Learn for each creature you control.

IIW: black-bordered outside the game

A Lesson that Learns feels degenerate to me on some level.

Efeba, Clique Breaker WU
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
If Efeba is your commander, you have a 15 card sideboard.
R, T, Discard a card: Learn.
BG: Each opponent may exile a Lesson card from your graveyard, and may cast that card as long as it's exiled. For each opponent that exiled a card this way, learn.
2/3

I liked this more before I realized it was a 5-color general.

Weekend Detention 1W
Enchantment — Aura (U)
Enchant creature or planeswalker
When Weekend Detention enters the battlefield, enchanted permanent's controller learns.
Enchanted permanent can't attack, block, or crew Vehicles, and its activated abilities can't be activated.

IIW: a 4cmc uncommon blue creature

Wouldn't this represent a failure to ? Maybe this counts. Pretty hard removal with a dangerous drawback considering that the opponent can grab the answer. If they can't, though, you're cruising. I appreciate that it will be correct to board this out some percentage of the time.

Winner: NinjaCaterpie
Next: The next Modern Horizons set is Magic: What If...?, where Wizards ponders alternate universes like "What if Josu became a necromancer?" and "What if Ugin beat Bolas?"

[Cythare]

"What If...Gideon couldn't reach Liliana in time, and the guilt of her death consumed him?"

Gideon Darkheart 2WB
Legendary Planeswalker — Gideon (M)
[+1]: Until end of turn, Gideon Darkheart becomes a 4/4 Human Warrior creature with haste and indestructible. You may attach an Equipment you control to him.
[-2]: Exile target unmodified creature. If its converted mana cost was 2 or less, put two loyalty counters on Gideon Darkheart.
[-7]: You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep, each player sacrifices a creature. Then, if there are thirty or more creature cards total in all graveyards, you win the game."
4

IIW: a 4cmc uncommon blue creature

[Legend]

"What If... The Ice Age never happened on Dominaria?"

Planar Warming (Rare)
3RRR
Sorcery
Destroy all non-Waste lands.

[chetoos]

"What If... Liliana planeswalked to Ixalan instead of Jace?"

The Flying Ravnican 3UB
Legendary Artifact - Vehicle (Rare)
As long as the Flying Ravnican is a creature, it is a zombie
Whenever The Flying Ravnican attacks, return target creature card with power less than or equal to the number of zombies you control from your graveyard to the battlefield. That creature becomes a black zombie in addition to its other colors and types.
Crew 4
The crew of the Flying Ravnican are used to reinforce it when they crumble once more.
4/7

Captain "Deadeye" Vess 1BB
Legendary Planeswalker - Liliana
+1 - Target creature gets -1/-2 until your next turn.
+1 - Each player discards a card. If you discarded a creature card this way, each opponent loses 2 life.
-6 - You get an emblem with "At the beginning of your end step, each opponent sacrifices a creature" and "Whenever a creature dies, each opponent loses 1 life."
3

IIW: Wild Speculation about Streets of New Capenna.

[Mergatroid_Jones]

What if.... The Brothers' War never happened

Urza and Mishra 5RU
Legendary Creature- Human Artificer (M)
When an artifact enters the battlefield under your control, target artifact or Artificer gains ward x until end of turn, where X is the number of artifacts you control.
2: Put an artifact card from your hand onto the battlefield. If its mana cost was ten or more, sacrifice it at the beginning of the next end step. If its mana value was 2 or less, create a 0/0 colorless Construct artifact creature token with "This creature gets +1/+1 for each artifact you control."
5/8

What if there were more cards?

Show

Hide

Modern Horizons power level, eh?

What if... Nahiri and Sorin stopped beating around the bush?

Nahiri's Final Vengeance 2wW
Enchantment (U)
Flash
Exile target creature or planeswalker. Its controller can't cast spells with the same name as the exiled card.
Nahiri shattered Sorin into dust. In a few short centuries, the name of Markov would be all but forgotten.

What if... Hanna stuck around as a Phyrexian?

Hanna, Artisan of Yawgmoth 2B
Legendary Creature- Phyrexian Artificer (U)
1B, t, Pay 1 life, sacrifice a creature: Return target artifact or creature card from your graveyard to your hand that wasn't put there this turn.
"Anything... everything for the Father of Machines."
1/3

What if... Feldon and his wife's roles were reversed?

Forbidden Conjuring 3B
Instant (U)
Create a token that's a copy of target creature card in your graveyard, except it's a white Spirit creature token with flying and haste. Sacrifice it at the beginning of your next upkeep.
Flashback 2R
"He will come back to me."

What if... the two timelines of Tarkir merged?

Khanate of Surrak
Land- Island Mountain Forest (R)
(: Add ,, or .)
Surrak's Khannate enters the battlefield tapped.
Cycling 3
Surrak's Khanate is by far the largest: both a strength and a weakness against the vastly wealthier Khanate of Silumgar to the south.

(Other Khanates: Khanate of Silumgar, Khanate of Abzan (under Dramoka) , Khanate of Jeskai (under planeswalker Narset), and Khanate of the Fallen Storm (barbarian hordes under no single Khan).

What if... Tezzeret were the God-Pharaoh?

Obelisk of the God-Pharaoh 6
Legendary Artifact (U)
Creatures your opponents control get -1/-1.
Your opponents can't gain life or search libraries.
Ravnicans stood agape as God-Pharaoh Tezzeret warped the cityscape around him, drunk with cosmic power from consuming the spark of Nicol Bolas.

What if... the Eldrazi won?

Zendikar's Demise
Sorcery (M)
Exile all permanents, all cards from graveyards, and all card from players' hands.
And there was nothing.

IIW: Presparked or desparked versions of planeswalkers.

[spacemonaut]

What if Melira and Venser's plan to cure Karn's corruption failed and instead he became the first Phyrexian walker?

Karn, the Compleat 7
Legendary Planeswalker — Karn
For each generic mana in this spell's cost, you may pay 2 life rather than pay that mana. It enters the battlefield with 1 less loyalty counter for each 2 life paid this way.
+2: Up to one target artifact you control becomes a 4/4 artifact creature until end of turn.
-3: Gain control of target creature or planeswalker. It becomes an artifact in addition to its other types.
-9: Exile all nonartifact permanents. Return all artifacts from all graveyards to the battlefield under your control.
starting: 5


IIW: Power 10 or greater