Henzie's Candyshop of Horrors [Retired]

[TheAmericanSpirit]

"I fight for my friends!"
"Oh Yeah? My friends fight for ME."

According to the lore, Henzie's a thief who runs a candystore as a front for his illicit dealings. Now I dunno about you, dear reader, but I don't get Petty-Thief-With-A-Sweet-Tooth vibe from his card as printed. Instead the flavor reads as a little guy with a big mouth and even bigger friends. Sort of like the insufferable little %$#% from middle school who knew they couldn't be touched for fear of incurring retribution from their older, high school brothers, Henzie is but a mere 3/3 but he's tenacious and the more anyone picks on him, the more readily he can deploy his swath of giant friends to avenge him. He'll also throw your preconceived notions about a proper mana curve for a loop, I tell you what.

Candyshop of Horrors

DecklistCMCManaPricesChartsDraw 7

Imperator

1 Henzie "Toolbox" Torre

Creatures (40)

1 Gilded Goose

1 Elves of Deep shadow

1 Birds of Paradise

1 Deathrite Shaman

1 Orcish Lumberjack

1 Ignoble Hierarch

1 Shigeki, Jukai Visionary

1 Dockside Extortionist

1 Dauthi Voidwalker

1 Gadrak, the Crown-Scourge

1 Selvala, Heart of the Wilds

1 Cemetery Prowler

1 Oriq Loremage

1 Goreclaw, Terror of Qal Sisma

1 Disciple of Bolas

1 World Shaper

1 Atsushi, The Blazing Sky

1 Rampant Rejuvenator

1 Daemogoth Woe-eater

1 Ziatora's Envoy

1 Rakdos, Lord of Riots

1 Storrev, Devkarin Lich

1 Ruthless Technomancer

1 Vindictive Lich

1 Solemn Simulacrum

1 Xenagos, God of Revels

1 Korvold, Fae-Cursed King

1 Seedguide Ash

1 Doom Whisperer

1 Genesis

1 Malignus

1 Sidisi, Undead Vizier

1 Ziatora, the Incinerator

1 Grave Titan

1 Ruin Grinder

1 Homura, Human Ascendant // Homura's Essence

1 Burning-Rune Demon

1 Protean Hulk

1 Greater Gargadon

1 Ghalta, Primal Hunger

Instants (2)

1 Entomb

1 Fire Covenant

Sorceries (8)

1 Reanimate

1 Hull Breach

1 Life from the Loam

1 Unmarked Grave

1 Exhume

1 Demonic Tutor

1 Life // Death

1 Maelstrom Pulse

Enchantments (6)

1 Animate Dead

1 Heartless Summoning

1 Necropotence

1 Pernicious Deed

1 Greater Good

1 Sneak Attack

Artifacts (6)

1 Sol Ring

1 Skullclamp

1 Gruul Signet

1 Rakdos Signet

1 Golgari Signet

1 Arcane Signet

Lands (37)

1 Command Tower

1 Savage Lands

1 Ziatora's Proving Ground

1 High Market

1 Hostile Hostel

1 Bojuka Bog

1 Wooded Foothills

1 Verdant Catacombs

1 Bloodstained Mire

1 Stomping Ground

1 Blood Crypt

1 Overgrown Tomb

1 Dragonskull Summit

1 Woodland Cemetery

1 Rootbound Crag

1 Sulfurous Springs

1 Llanowar Wastes

1 Karplusan Forest

1 Highland Forest

1 Woodland Chasm

1 Sulfurous Mire

1 Undergrowth Stadium

1 Exotic Orchard

1 Geothermal Crevice

1 Takenuma, Abandoned Mire

1 Sokenzan, Crucible of Defiance

4 Swamp

5 Forest

2 Mountain

Approximate Total Cost:

Once again, I will not be stretching your mind with the gameplan here. Play Henzie, play your big folks, run them over. There are a few nuances though:
1. It is very easy to run out of cards in hand and very perilous to do so. It is critical to pace yourself until you can get Necro, Clamp, or Greater Good on board. Prioritize spending tutors to find them if necessary.
2. There's a pretty solid reanimation package and a decent amount of self-mill included in the deck. Use these to maximize early tempo by reanimating a fatty early on or to feed effects like World Shaper and Shigeki.
3. Malignus and Ghalta are simply huge beaters and nothing more, but combined with Xenagod, Ziatora, Selvala, or an opportune blitz, they can finish off opponents out of the blue. Use them judiciously, as playing them just to play them will quickly result in a dead fatty and 0 damage.
4. Shigeki and Sneak Attack can do some neat tricks together. "1RG: Do Shigeki's thing" is a hell of thing to get rolling, trust me.
5. Requirements of a playable fatty may vary. Ideally, we want most of our fatties to be MV 4-6 and to have a beneficial triggered ability upon ETB or Death. But what those fatties need to do in order to be viable in your meta may differ from the list above. Swarmed with Token strategies? Bring in Havoc Demon, Magma Phoenix, Shard Phoenix, etc. Overwrought by Artifacts and Enchantments? Your answers may be Bane of Progress, Druid of Purification, and Acidic Slime. The deck has quite a bit of wiggle room in what fatties you choose so long as you maintain the critical mass of them, so flavor to taste!

[kirkusjones]

I'm going to have to look through my pile of fatties for Yurlok to see if there are any gems you're missing. Our plans are pretty similar, minus the reanimation package.

[TheAmericanSpirit]

I'm going to have to look through my pile of fatties for Yurlok to see if there are any gems you're missing. Our plans are pretty similar, minus the reanimation package.

I'd love to see your list sometime! I considered Yurlok for a hot second just for the raw +2 ramp, but ultimately went with Henzie for the cost reduction & cantrip.

I probably missed quite a chunk of idiosyncratic sweetness in this first draft. Looking at it now, I don't think I've ever worked so hard to achieve an outcome so generic (tbf to myself though, most of the work was figuring out the wonky ass curve, not making dynamic slot choices).

[TheGildedGoose]

You could consider switching your signets over to a Rampant Growth style sorceries (and potentially dedicating a couple more slots for the good ones) to empower your graveyard as a resource. I always prefer sorcery ramp in green when I can for that reason alone, regardless of superior color fixing. They might not even be necessary if you lean heavier into mana dorks, which might be more effective overall with a greater emphasis on creature interactions. Was it a conscious choice to diversify your ramp package to hedge against disruption?

In addition to running out of cards, I feel like this deck doesn't have a lot to do with its mana in the late game either. Sure, if you get Necro or Greater Good going and you're humming through your deck, you've got stuff to do, but I feel like this deck could use a few more cards like Genesis to really Jund 'em out in the mid and late game. There aren't a lot of great options here, but any kind of mana sink that allows you to recur your resources or even just draw cards could be of use in a pinch as long as its average use case isn't itself that bad, Phyrexian Reclamation could be okay, and I would even consider stuff like Ox of Agonas or maybe even Hogaak, Arisen Necropolis for surprise GG activations if you lean more into dorks. Just something to consider if you find yourself petering out in another direction, obviously I wouldn't dilute the primary gameplan of the deck too much.

[TheAmericanSpirit]

You could consider switching your signets over to a Rampant Growth style sorceries (and potentially dedicating a couple more slots for the good ones) to empower your graveyard as a resource. I always prefer sorcery ramp in green when I can for that reason alone, regardless of superior color fixing. They might not even be necessary if you lean heavier into mana dorks, which might be more effective overall with a greater emphasis on creature interactions. Was it a conscious choice to diversify your ramp package to hedge against disruption?

So in general I like to keep my ramp diversified to prevent disruption, but without 8 more fetches to smooth things out, things are tough. The signets are not only a hedge against disruption, they're a hedge against my crappy manabase. Also, turn 1 sol ring → signet is always a great feeling, win% be damned.

In addition to running out of cards, I feel like this deck doesn't have a lot to do with its mana in the late game either. Sure, if you get Necro or Greater Good going and you're humming through your deck, you've got stuff to do, but I feel like this deck could use a few more cards like Genesis to really Jund 'em out in the mid and late game. There aren't a lot of great options here, but any kind of mana sink that allows you to recur your resources or even just draw cards could be of use in a pinch as long as its average use case isn't itself that bad, Phyrexian Reclamation could be okay, and I would even consider stuff like Ox of Agonas or maybe even Hogaak, Arisen Necropolis for surprise GG activations if you lean more into dorks. Just something to consider if you find yourself petering out in another direction, obviously I wouldn't dilute the primary gameplan of the deck too much.

You're not wrong and it's probably the foremost issue to solve. Hogaak and reclamation are great suggestions and I'll pick them up when I can. Even with them though, I really am relying hard on the dumb 6 drops to take the game for me. Luckily, 6 power is ginormous in my meta of mana dorks and utility goons, so hopefully I can get there anyway. What do you think about charnelhoard wurm and Drana, the Last Bloodchief as additional recursion (at least until they print genesis 2.0)?
Edit: Oooh, what about Soul of Innistrad? I know it looks like absolute jank, but 5 for 3 is actually pretty damn efficient.

[TheGildedGoose]

What do you think about charnelhoard wurm and Drana, the Last Bloodchief as additional recursion (at least until they print genesis 2.0)?

I'm usually inclined to like the more reliable Phyrexian Delver/Young Necromancer type stuff for this kind of role. They're not as great at beating, though, and not being able to blitz out what you want to recur can, in theory, be a disadvantage so it's a much harder choice here. The Wurm seems underwhelming, but Drana is interesting. Not being able to choose is a huge downside, but she also supports multiple things the deck wants to do. She's probably worth a looksee.

Also, I would look into focusing on beaters with at least 2 generic in their cost, since that would be my guess as to the number of times Henzie will be cast before staying in play for a bit as well as maximizing Heartless Summoning value.

[TheAmericanSpirit]

Oh man, I forgot Homura, Human Ascendant // Homura's Essence existed. That badass will be replacing Inferno Titan come Wednesday, he's just too perfect to ignore.

Edit: I did some goldfishing this morning and I think I need more 2 drop ramp as Goose suspected.

-elves of deep shadow
-frontier siege
-snuff out
+rampant growt
+3 visits
+nature's lore

Double edit: nah, actually I like Snuff Out more than rampant growth.

TRIPLE EDIT: looks like I had 100 cards in my main board because apparently I'm running 37 lands, not 36. Whoopsie. Any way, I had to cut a card so out go 3 visits and NL, back in come the elves. What an Sisyphean task this deck is turning out to be.

[Outcryqq]

I have a mostly-done list, will check out in when I get the chance today and let you know the must-haves that I included that aren't in your list.

[kirkusjones]

Oh man, I forgot Homura, Human Ascendant // Homura's Essence existed. That badass will be replacing Inferno Titan come Wednesday, he's just too perfect to ignore.

Edit: I did some goldfishing this morning and I think I need more 2 drop ramp as Goose suspected.

-elves of deep shadow
-frontier siege
-snuff out
+rampant growt
+3 visits
+nature's lore

Double edit: nah, actually I like Snuff Out more than rampant growth.

TRIPLE EDIT: looks like I had 100 cards in my main board because apparently I'm running 37 lands, not 36. Whoopsie. Any way, I had to cut a card so out go 3 visits and NL, back in come the elves. What an Sisyphean task this deck is turning out to be.

Not sure how high-variance you want to be, but the approach I took with Yurlok is to build a list with 20ish blank slots, then shuffle my ever-growing stack-o-fatties, and drop the first 20 into the main deck blind. Some games you get Spiritmonger and Chameleon Colossus and Titan of Industry, others you get Old Gnawbone, Korvold, Fae-Cursed King and Terror of the Peaks and all kinds of nonsense in between.

I've really enjoyed playing it, but can understand it may not be everyone's cup of tea.

[TheAmericanSpirit]

@kirkusjones in general I like those types of decks, had an emry version I played for a while for some good fun. This deck, however, cannot support that level of variance imo. At least not yet, I've got so much more to iron out before I can take risks like that.

[Outcryqq]

Some cards I like in my list:
Chainer, Nightmare Adept
Terror of the Peaks
Morbid Opportunist
Mikaeus, the Unhallowed
Cauldron of Souls

[TheGildedGoose]

Oh, damn, Terror of the Peaks looks great here.

Have you thought about Living Death? Terror made me think of it immediately, and I think it could do a lot of work here even without the dragon.

I'm less than thrilled with your beef selection overall, but I respect the tension the deck has between its desire to run powerful, expensive creatures while still being able to cast them instead of relying solely on reanimating them.

Junji, the Midnight Sky
Kokusho, the Evening Star
Underrealm Lich
Archon of Cruelty (maybe a bit out of curve)

I think these are worth looking at, too.

[TheAmericanSpirit]

Oh damn, terror of the peaks is really good. Another card to obtain on the pile! Junji could also find its way in at some point, but it seems like a generic value thing more than a truly choice cut of beef.

Chainer I don't care for much. I've tried him in other decks before, and he never quite does what I need him to do. Maybe it's just a YMMV thing, but I don't like him.

[TheAmericanSpirit]

-snuff out
-forest
-timeless witness
-riveteers ascendancy
+gilded goose
+Atsushi, the blazing sky
+Bolas's citadel
+undergrowth stadium

I know citadel seems super sketch with the mana curve, but the deck was lacking in the CA department and the way I see it, paying 6 life for a grave titan beats the hell out of paying 1 life for llanowar elves. It's also a card I have and adore, so what the hell. There's less fun ways to die. Alternatively, there is Doom Weaver, who is a creature(+) and draws cards(+), but also has 1 power(-) and is a terrible blitz(-). I'm sticking with the Suicide Citadel for now.

EDIT: I just remembered Ruin Grinder exists, which negates the need for the Bolas Rock. I snagged one from my lgs along with a solemn simulacrum and a Sidisi, Undead Vizier. They'll all make their ways in when I pick them up tomorrow.

[TheAmericanSpirit]

Altight folks, I'm out. This deck's final record: 2/15. Probably my worst deck in the last 3 years.

The sad part is that I really did try to get this deck rolling, and it just refused to come together. When I lost, it felt like I always had 3 cards in my hand, 2 lands and a spell that did nothing. When I won, it felt like I had gotten lucky in the face of circumstance rather than actually having carefully navigated to that position. Even sadder is I was never able to pinpoint the root issue, despite ripping it apart for rebuilds like 4 times.

Anyway, I give up. Luckily, I saw a friend yesterday and he was interested in building Henzie with a different angle. I traded him the bulk of the deck's skeleton for a FoW, FoN, and a mana drain, so hey, all's well that ends well. Henzie's loss is Phelddagrif's gain.

[kirkusjones]

Altight folks, I'm out. This deck's final record: 2/15. Probably my worst deck in the last 3 years.

The sad part is that I really did try to get this deck rolling, and it just refused to come together. When I lost, it felt like I always had 3 cards in my hand, 2 lands and a spell that did nothing. When I won, it felt like I had gotten lucky in the face of circumstance rather than actually having carefully navigated to that position. Even sadder is I was never able to pinpoint the root issue, despite ripping it apart for rebuilds like 4 times.

Anyway, I give up. Luckily, I saw a friend yesterday and he was interested in building Henzie with a different angle. I traded him the bulk of the deck's skeleton for a FoW, FoN, and a mana drain, so hey, all's well that ends well. Henzie's loss is Phelddagrif's gain.

Sorry to see this go, but congrats on the upgrades to Pheldagrif!

[RowanKeltizar]

Altight folks, I'm out. This deck's final record: 2/15. Probably my worst deck in the last 3 years.

The sad part is that I really did try to get this deck rolling, and it just refused to come together. When I lost, it felt like I always had 3 cards in my hand, 2 lands and a spell that did nothing. When I won, it felt like I had gotten lucky in the face of circumstance rather than actually having carefully navigated to that position. Even sadder is I was never able to pinpoint the root issue, despite ripping it apart for rebuilds like 4 times.

Anyway, I give up. Luckily, I saw a friend yesterday and he was interested in building Henzie with a different angle. I traded him the bulk of the deck's skeleton for a FoW, FoN, and a mana drain, so hey, all's well that ends well. Henzie's loss is Phelddagrif's gain.

There's some irony in that I think. Traded most of the deck for 3 of the best counterspells...

I think your biggest thing missing here is an actual way to win, a win-con. I use Craterhoof Behemoth and Purphoros, God of the Forge. There are plenty of ways to either tutor for these creatures directly into play or to get them into your graveyard for reanimation.


Living Death is an auto-include because with so many creatures, you are always going to come out on top, especially if you have a few ways to exile other people's yards before cast.

Moraug, Fury of Akoum can be another blowout win. Lots of landfall possible here.

You want to focus on etbs and death triggers. Why? well not only does your commander provide a sac outlet, but board wipes are always going to be a reality. Other decks will probably outclass you on the fast aggro game, so the best thing you can do is get as much value for the creatures you do manage to get on the field. That's why cards like Junji, the Midnight Sky are so phenomenal.

Massacre Wurm is a card I would never consider cutting because it ABSOLUTE wrecks.

Mikaeus, the Unhallowed is the epitomy of what this deck is about in my opinion. Double etbs, double death triggers. You cheese the blitz mechanic entirely.

IDK, I think Henzie is one of the strongest Jund commanders, but he does require a deck that works together. Mine works so well because I've struggled a long time with the archetype without Henzie available. Henzie was the perfect commander for my deck. Now I have an ideal enabler in the command zone. Korvald is very good no doubt, but Henzie does exactly what I want him to.