New Challenge Every Day - October 20th: Cards that shouldn't be made

[void_nothing]

Today's Challenge: Cards that shouldn't be made

.::To Enter::.
In a single post:

• Name exactly two other players to vote for their entries for the previous challenge. (In the event that there are two or fewer entries that you are allowed to vote for, you may vote for only one.)

• Make a card that fits the current challenge.

• Include an "If I Win" (IIW) for tomorrow's challenge if you win.

Each day we use the challenge of the previous day's winner. In the case of a tie, we'll use the IIW of the tied player who has least overall points. In case of a further tie, the IIW of the earlier poster will be used.

.::Scoring::.

netn10 38 (+1)
void_nothing 38 (+1)
CunningGabe 35 (+1)
JovialJovian 28 (+2)
OneAndOnly 24 (+4)
kwanyeegor-ii 9
MonoRedMage 3
Venedrex 1 (+1)

.::Note of the Day::.

.::Yesterday's Submissions::.
Performers

Votes: OneAndOnly, JoviaJovian

Backflip u
Instant (Un-Uncommon)
Target tapped Performer creature you control gains flying until end of turn.
Untap it in style, then ask a person if it was a cool untap. If they say yes, you get a , then you may put a sticker on it. (The creature, not the person. Don't put stickers on people even if they just gave you a win.)

IIW: Colored Powerstone

Votes: OneAndOnly, void_nothing

Sword Swallower RW
Creature - Human Performer (U)
Sword Swallower gets +3/+0 for each equipment exiled with its abilities.
2: Exile target equipment you control. Play this ability only as a sorcery.
2: Return target equipment that Sword Swallower has exiled to the battlefield and attach it to Sword Swallower. Play this ability only as a sorcery.
If he opens wide enough, he can even swallow the occasional very large hammer.
1/3

IIW: Flashback

votes: OneAndOnly, CunningGabe

Can-can Dancer 1UR
Creature - Human Performer (U)
Squad 2
Haste
When Can-can Dancer enters the battlefield, tap up to one target creature.
2/1

IIW: Halloween

venedrex jovialjovian

Votes: netn10, OneAndOnly

Devil K. Nevil - Comeback Tour 4R
Legendary Creature - Devil Performer (M)
When Devil K. Nevil - Comeback Tour enters the battlefield, you may face away from the table and throw Devil K. Nevil over your shoulder, attempting to clear any number of nonland permanents you control. Destroy all of those permanents it didn't clear and put a +1/+1 counter on each of those permanents it cleared. Then, for each cleared permanent, create a token that's a copy of it and the token gains haste. Exile those tokens at the beginning of the next end step.
"Entertaining the fans is my first priority. And safety. And topping my earlier feats. And I don't know the order numbers go in."
5/3

IIW: Nocturnal creatures

[netn10]

Votes: void_nothing, CunningGabe

Lord of Variety 5
Legendary Creature - Avatar (Mythic)
Companion - Each nonland card in your starting deck has a different mana cost.
During each turn, the first spell you cast cost 0 to cast.
4/4

IIW: Companion

[CunningGabe]

Votes: netn10, void_nothing

Phyrexia's Inevitability {W/P}{U/P}{B/P}{R/P}{G/P}
Sorcery (M)
Target player loses life equal to the amount of life you've lost this turn.

IIW: Trick or Treat

[dyd]

Votes: netn10, CunningGabe

Stickogoyf 1g
Creature — Lhurgoyf
Stickogoyf's power is equal to the number of stickers among cards in all graveyards and its toughness is equal to that number plus 1.
What doesn't stick around, dies. And what dies sticks to the stickogoyf.
*/1+*

IIW: two kinds of player counters on the same card

[JovialJovian]

votes: CunningGabe, void_nothing (though, that card needs to be Un)

Null Orb 2
Continuous Artifact
As long as Null Orb is untapped, permanents with abilities don't untap during their controllers' untap steps.

IIW: Balloons

[void_nothing]

Votes: netn10, CunningGabe

Algahn of the Pearl Trident 1U
Legendary Creature - Merfolk Wizard (R)
"We are not mere scholars and tinkerers. My people are stronger than you might suspect."
3/3

IIW: Staple commons