You need a haircut
You need a shoe shine
You need aristocratic
Glow-in-the dark erotic magnet
- Man Man, Top Drawer
You need a shoe shine
You need aristocratic
Glow-in-the dark erotic magnet
- Man Man, Top Drawer
![Image](https://i.imgur.com/HZpP75K.png)
Simply put, this is Nethroi, Apex of Death Aristocrats. It's not particularly revolutionary, given Nethroi's apparent popularity, but what I lack in originality I make up for in tunedness. Most Nethroi decks I've seen (and EDHREC seems to back me up) are either combo, mutate-focused, 0/0 tribal, or generic Abzan-y graveyard-y goodstuff-y which makes this approach comparatively novel. Even then, most of the aristocrat-centric decklists I found weren't as focused as this one, which almost entirely tries to accumulate lots of little dudes, then sacrifice them for the glory of God. They ran what I consider to be subpar cards, like Blood Artist, Falkenrath Noble, Teysa Karlov, mutate creatures, and generally speaking, too many noncreature spells.
So why Nethroi instead of, say, Ghave, Guru of Spores or Karador, Ghost Chieftain? Well, Ghave combos with everything and has a reputation for comboing with everything, so he tends to come with a target on his back. As for Karador, I believe him to be too slow for Aristocrats. Nethroi gives the archetype an explosiveness to end games in one or two turns, something Karador can't provide.
And man, can the deck be explosive. There are turns that take a while because of 8+ creatures hitting (then quickly leaving) the battlefield at once and everything that goes along with that. I'm still learning the deck, but I'm actually concerned that due to the sheer number of triggers that can happen at once some of my turns will be a snoozefest for my opponents while I resolve everything. That's why you practice, kids!
Anyway, here's the decklist:
Beware the Whispers
Approximate Total Cost:
Notes:
The major problem the deck runs into is consistency due to most cards being individually weak. It relies on heavy synergy between creature spam, sac outlets, and payoffs from those two. To fix this I run as many creatures that cantrip as I can to churn through the deck while also providing bodies to get rid of later. I run the five two mana value cantrip creatures and I'm even considering Callous Bloodmage due to the extra utility it brings. The new Fell Stinger looks pretty decent, too.
Is there such a thing as too much ramp? With what is effectively a seven mana commander and the synergy they have with the deck, I crammed virtually every playable ramp dork I could (sans Deathrite Shaman due to lack of fetches). All but one of them are mutate targets and most of them are one mana, which is great after a board wipe to deploy Nethroi. I'm worried I went a little overkill, though. Twelve is a lot.
Eternal Witness and Eerie Ultimatum is a fun strategy against removal.dec.
Does it need more sac outlets? The deck generates a lot of mana in the mid and late game so the sac outlets don't necessarily have to be free, though that's always a plus. Ten total sac outlets feels like a good place to statistically see one by turn five (74.3% without considering cantrip creatures), which is generally when you want to deploy it to start raking in the value. Here's a shortlist of cards I think are worth considering:
Carrion Feeder
Fiend Artisan
Ghave, Guru of Spores
Izoni, Thousand-Eyed
Lampad of Death's Vigil
Phyrexian Plaguelord
Ravenous Squirrel (sigh)
I think I'm running too much interaction. It pains me to cut removal, but the deck tends to be very proactive, so drawing too much removal early on stunts our development. I cut Swords to Plowshares because it isn't as versatile as the rest of the suite and I'm not sure if that's a mistake.
Are Teferi's Protection and Veil of Summer worthwhile here? I usually don't care if my creatures get removed since they're almost exclusively fodder, so board wipes aren't an issue. Countermagic on key pieces can hurt, but the majority of the deck is composed of individually mediocre cards. Who the hell is going to Counterspell Dusk Legion Zealot or Wood Elves?
I'm prepared to defend Rally the Ancestors. It's effectively an instant speed, one sided Living Death for the deck, given our deck's low mana curve. It can be risky if your sac outlet gets removed while it's on the stack, potentially losing your poor little minions, but the card has so much ceiling.