The Alphabetical Card Game

[Henlock]

Lode Prospector r
Creature - Dwarf (r)
, Sacrifice a Mountain: Create two treasure tokens.
1/1

[OneAndOnly]

Magma Spike -- XRRR
Sorcery {U}
Destroy target land. Magma Spike deals X damage to each creature that shares a color with a mana that could be produced by a mana ability of that land. X can't be 0.

[lookingupanddown]

Nasty Crew 2RR
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, discard a card.
Create X 1/1 red Devil creature tokens with "When this creature dies, it deals 1 damage to any target," where X is the difference between the greatest number of cards in an opponent's hand with the number of cards in your hand. Nasty Crew deals damage to target creature or planeswalker equal to the number of cards in your hand.

[Henlock]

Optimal Velocity xr
Sorcery (u)
Up to one target creature gains haste cannot be blocked except by X or more creatures this turn. Exile the top X cards of your library, you may cast them until your next turn's end step.

[OneAndOnly]

Pierced By Stalactites -- XRR
Sorcery {U}
As an additional cost to cast Pierced By Stalactites, sacrifice a land.
Pierced By Stalactites deals X+X damage to each of X target creatures. If the land you sacrificed was a Cave, excess damage is dealt to those creature's controller.

[lookingupanddown]

Queen's Lockbox 1R
Artifact
Whenever a creature you control attacks the monarch, exile the top card of your library face down.
1R, Discard your hand, Sacrifice Queen's Lockbox: Put all cards exiled with Queen's Lockbox into their owners' hands. Activate only if you are the monarch.
A show of gratitude, or payment for services rendered? With Marchesa, it's the same thing.

[Henlock]

Reckless Diversion 1r
Instant (u)
Play only during combat before blockers are declared.
Put a decoy counter on target attacking creature you control. That creature gains "When this creature becomes blocked, sacrifice it andif an attacking creature you control would deal combat damage to a player this turn, it deals that much damage plus 2 instead."

[OneAndOnly]

Spike Shot -- XR
Instant {C}
Countervoke (Your counters can help pay this mana cost. Remove a counter on a permanent you control to pay 1 toward this spell's mana cost.)
Spike Shot deals X damage to target creature or planeswalker.

[Henlock]

Timely Punch 0
Instant (u) ()
Timely Punch deals one damage to target blocking creature.

[lookingupanddown]

Unfiltered Anger 1R
Instant
Target creature gets +X/+0 and gains trample until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures target opponent controls.
"DO I LOOK CALM TO YOU?!"

[OneAndOnly]

Volcanic Outburst -- XR
Sorcery {R}
Volcanic Outburst deals X damage to target creature or player. For each mana from a fortified land spent to cast this spell, Volcanic Outburst deals 2 damage to another target.

[AnotherAlias]

Way of the Flamethief
Enchantment
Whenever a source you control deals damage to an opponent, put coin counter on Way of the Flamethief. Then, if Way of the Flamethief has five or more coin counters on it, sacrifice it and create two Treasure tokens.

[Henlock]

Xenagos' Torch 3r
Legendary Artifact - Equiment (u)
Equipped creature gets +1/+0 for each in your mana pool.
Equip
3r, discard Xenagos' Torch: Add five r

[lookingupanddown]

Yammering Annoyance 2R
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +1/+0, has "Whenever enchanted creature is blocked, target blocking creature is goaded until its controller's next end step."
The generals soon found a use for even Lucia's endless chatter.

[Henlock]

Zap the Wands r
Enchantment (u)
Equipments you control have ", unattach this equipment: This equipment deals 1 damage to any target."

[OneAndOnly]

Animation Spree -- XGG
Sorcery {U}
X target lands become Elemental creatures with base power and toughness X/X until the end of turn.

[folding_music]

Beorn 4g
Legendary Creature - Bear Shapeshifter (U)
Trample
Whenever Beorn attacks, scry X, where X is the number of attacking Bears you control. Then, you may sacrifice a Food token. If you do, scry X again.
5/4

(yes this is a fully resentful post about how nonsequitur those legendary lotr designs were lol)

[lookingupanddown]

Crush the Unnatural 1G
Sorcery
Kicker G
Exile target artifact or enchantment. If Crush the Unnatural was kicked, creatures you control gain trample until end of turn.

[OneAndOnly]

Dustigoyf -- 1G
Enchantment - Aura {R}
Enchant land
1G: Enchanted land becomes a green Lhurgoyf creature with "This creature's power is equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards, and its toughness is equal to that number plus 1" until end of turn.

[Henlock]

Defensive Canopy
Enchantment (u)
When Defensive Canopy enters the battlefield, you may put a forest card from your hand onto the battlefield tapped.
Only one creature with flying can attack each combat.


Every Living Creature G
Legendary Enchantment (u)
When Every Living Creature enters the battlefield, learn.
Nonartifact creatures have +1/+1.

[OneAndOnly]

Fir-Needle Guardian -- 4G
Creature - Treefolk
Champion a Forest
T: Add G
Whenn Fir-Needle Treefolk dies, target Forest you control becomes a 4/4 green Treefoilk creature with trample, reach, and "You may have this creature deal combat damage as though it weren't blocked."
4/4

[Henlock]

Glowing Orchid G
Creature - Plant (u)
Phyrexian Mana can only be paid with mana.
Sacrifice Glowing Orchid: Add one mana of any color.
0/2

[OneAndOnly]

Hemlockiphaunt -- GGGG
Creature - Elephant {U}
Trample
When Hemlockiphaunt enters, target Forest becomes a 4/4 green Elephant creature with trample until Hemlockiphaunt leaves the battlefield.
4/4

[folding_music]

Irises
Enchantment
Your creatures can't be goaded.
1g, Sacrifice Irises: Draw a card.

[AnotherAlias]

Jungle Jaunt
Instant
Add for each basic Forest you control.