Ardenn & Rograkh - Funny Kobold With Sword

[Rumpy5897]

I saw Rograkh and laughed. I saw Ardenn and smiled. I realised the two would work great together, and a deck was born.

This is a gleefully short-sighed zerg rush of an aggro deck. The goal's simple, really - you play Lolbold, you drop some cheap equipment, you play Ardenn, suit up Lolbold and start going to town. You draw some cards, you continue enlarging Lolbold, people die. Or if they don't die, you get horribly outscaled. The quintessential aggro experience, now offered in EDH! The bulk of the equipment is various cheap pump stuff, which Ardenn gets to cheat the equip cost on. This is a big deal, as from experience equipment tends to feel clunky in EDH due to this mana intensiveness. Suddenly you can pay one mana for Colossus Hammer and the rest is sorted out. Totally fair!

The primary keywords the deck tries to get onto Lolbold are double strike and deathtouch. They interact favourably with the pumping game plan and Lolbold's baked-in trample/first strike. There are attempts at card advantage with on-hit draw equipment (more double strike synergy!) and Puresteel Paladin/Sram, and weirdly many tutors to find key pieces.

Without further ado, the deck!

Lolbold

DecklistCMCManaPricesChartsDraw 7

Boss!

1 Ardenn, Intrepid Archaeologist

1 Rograkh, Son of Rohgahh

Pump!

1 Amorphous Axe

1 Blackblade Reforged

1 Bloodforged Battle-Axe

1 Bonesplitter

1 Colossus Hammer

1 Commander's Plate

1 Ghostfire Blade

1 Golem-Skin Gauntlets

1 Hero's Blade

1 Neurok Hoversail

1 Ogre's Cleaver

1 O-Naginata

1 Sword of Kaldra

1 Tormentor's Trident

1 Umezawa's Jitte

Wham!

1 Duelist's Heritage

1 Fireshrieker

1 Inquisitor's Flail

1 Kor Blademaster

1 Reyav, Master Smith

Sneak!

1 Basilisk Collar

1 Cliffhaven Kitesail

1 Gorgon Flail

1 Gorgon's Head

1 Hot Soup

1 Prowler's Helm

1 Trailblazer's Boots

Ramp!

1 Arcane Signet

1 Dowsing Dagger

1 Mana Crypt

1 Mox Amber

1 Prying Blade

1 Sol Ring

1 Sword of Feast and Famine

1 Sword of the Animist

Draw!

1 Armored Skyhunter

1 Infiltration Lens

1 Land Tax

1 Mask of Memory

1 Masterwork of Ingenuity

1 Puresteel Paladin

1 Rogue's Gloves

1 Sram, Senior Edificer

1 Sword of Fire and Ice

1 Wheel of Fortune

Find!

1 Enlightened Tutor

1 Imperial Recruiter

1 Open the Armory

1 Recruiter of the Guard

1 Steelshaper's Gift

1 Stoneforge Mystic

1 Stonehewer Giant

1 Sunforger

Live!

1 Boros Charm

1 Deflecting Swat

1 Flawless Maneuver

1 Giver of Runes

1 Mother of Runes

1 Teferi's Protection

Boom!

1 Blasphemous Act

1 Dispatch

1 Generous Gift

1 Path to Exile

1 Swords to Plowshares

Land!

1 Ancient Den

1 Arid Mesa

1 Battlefield Forge

1 Bloodstained Mire

1 Clifftop Retreat

1 Command Tower

1 Flooded Strand

1 Great Furnace

1 Inventors' Fair

1 Marsh Flats

1 Mistveil Plains

1 Plateau

1 Reflecting Pool

1 Rugged Prairie

1 Sacred Foundry

1 Scalding Tarn

1 Spectator Seating

1 Windswept Heath

1 Wooded Foothills

4 Mountain

11 Plains

Approximate Total Cost:

When being goofy, I've made a 79/29 Lolbold holding 25 pieces of equipment (only like a third of those were Bloodforged Battle-Axes). When being a tryhard, I zerged down Imoti before they got to do anything, or drew six cards off a turn five attack. This is the Lolbold way

[Magiqmaster]

I love your deck ! Curious about the lack of Swiftfoot Boots, though, Otherwise, maybe try Leonin Shikari to provide some surprise moves. Also, how about adding Sigarda's Aid? Perhaps consider Akiri, Line-Slinger in the 99, as he also would really benefit from all the artifacts... Akiri, Fearless Voyager is another possibility.

All around, this deck will surely be a blast to play. I might try building one myself!

[Rumpy5897]

Thanks for the sentiment. The list is pretty early days, it's possible some of this is correct to run. Leonin Shikari excites me the least of these, as a bunch of the equipments are expensive to move around and Ardenn cheats them on. Along similar reasons, due to having him out of the command zone, Sigarda's Aid loses a bit of appeal. Akiri, Fearless Voyager is a decent card advantage option though, and can double up as protection. Swiftfoot Boots are probably a correct include, but between my various Moms and reactive spells I feel I'm fine for now.

I've gotten a bunch of games on the deck at this time, yet no changes really come to mind. There aren't really any obvious clunkers, which is unusual for a deck this young. The equipment was selected to be efficient to get online and the support pieces are also mana conscious. The closest to a clunker is Stonehewer Giant due to his incredibly high five mana casting cost. I'm conceptually considering some extra combats to help close out, especially as once Lolbold is pumped up to a degree there are often enough resources left over to generate a second voltron. Flag two people with some Lolbold damage, suddenly make a hefty Ardenn, play an extra combat, table down. Buried Ruin is likely correct to run, but it'd also be correct to dig into mountains to make room due to the extremely minor red splash, and that makes me uncomfortable.

[Rumpy5897]

A couple weeks ago, I piped up in a crowded thread in the main forum that it's okay to play suboptimally in the interest of table enjoyment. I was met with nontrivial pushback, pointing out that the need to sandbag could be indicative of a power imbalance. I thought back to Lolbold games, and the deck had a tendency to power out a hard slapping voltron way before it should. So, the list was working as intended. However, my group's on the slower side, so I'd start putting equipment on weird creatures and avoid killing people to keep the games enjoyable. Once that got called disrespectful, that illusion got kind of ruined.

I took a look at play patterns and drafted up a swap list.

Putative Nerfs

DecklistCMCManaPricesChartsDraw 7

Out:

1 Colossus Hammer

1 Duelist's Heritage

1 Fireshrieker

1 Imperial Recruiter

1 Inquisitor's Flail

1 Kor Blademaster

1 Mana Crypt

1 Mox Amber

1 Recruiter of the Guard

1 Reyav, Master Smith

1 Sol Ring

In:

1 Akiri, Fearless Voyager

1 Comeuppance

1 Kemba, Kha Regent

1 Odric, Lunarch Marshal

1 Relic Seeker

1 Settle the Wreckage

1 Smothering Tithe

1 Springleaf Drum

1 Swiftfoot Boots

1 Tome of Legends

1 Wyleth, Soul of Steel

Approximate Total Cost:

This set of changes did away with double strike as the primary source of disproportionate tempo, Colossus Hammer as it was so gross I never once cast it, cheap accelerants as the deck was already too fast without them, and the recruiters as they'd usually just go get double strike anyway. The new includes emphasised draw, as double strike would help on-hit draw trigger again, and some interesting places to sink equipments to compete with Lolbold. I also added a couple kooky instants to have Sunforger be more of a thing. I then took out the deck for a game, had a medium draw, and the power to lethal someone turn six. Without double strike, or the top tier rocks.

As funny as cheating a bunch of equipment onto a 0/1 is, the deck's pacing was inappropriate for the group even in its nerfed form. I contemplated switching commanders, removing the Lolbold voltron option altogether and jamming in Toggo. He'd be a source of random drivel I could then cheat onto Kemba or whatever else, but that boded poorly for the deck's longevity - there's a finite amount of equip sinks, the list would get stale. The original idea to have those compete with Lolbold was an interesting one dynamically at least. Still, once I got thinking about Toggo, I figured I could try making use of his skillset somehow, eventually landing on Keskit. The deck has very little in common with what this one was doing.

I won't push these changes to the list in the thread, as I believe the original draft to be a pretty good version of the pair and I won't be playing the nerfed take for now anyway.

[miehen]

Hi, just threw this together. Any thoughts have did not have the chance to playtest it yet.

https://www.moxfield.com/decks/61lcQPJ32UeffHpaZdmvWw

[Rumpy5897]

I'm not exactly an authority on this commander pair, the deck had maybe like 10-20 games on it at the times of retirement. Still, I took a look at your list and jotted down some thoughts:

• Goblin Engineer feels risky. You don't exactly have disposable crap to sac to him to recur whatever you may get, and he can just die before you get to use him, making it doubly risky to tutor something meaningful.
• Kediss radiates damage as non-voltron damage. Just keep that in mind. Slapping two people for 21 will technically take out the third as collateral damage, and you could theoretically try suiting up Ardenn for some double voltron action. But it might also accomplish comparatively little, as it doesn't accelerate your initial clock.
• You've got some rather inefficient equips in Seraphic Greatsword and Maul of the Skyclaves. They both pump by the same amount as one-drops, and the options they have... well, they technically do something, but not a lot. The former forces you to spread aggro and depends on how the rest of the game is going, the latter technically has a little bit of evasion but doesn't feel worth tacking on the extra two mana for the privilege. It's obviously costed with the auto-equip in mind, whereas the commander pairing can break equip cost taxation and doesn't benefit hugely from it.
• The Godo/Helm infinite is shoehorned in and doesn't even properly work as you'd hope. Combat starts, Helm gets slapped on by Ardenn, but no token Godo pops out. You have to wait a whole go around the table for it to do anything, while everyone can see it plain as daylight on the table, attached and everything. Given the fact Helm is absolutely dead in the list outside of this application, I'd cut it. Godo is also debatable, but at least you're running the Argentum Armor chonker for it to be worth it.
• Trust me, you want some deathtouch/evasion.

[miehen]

I'm not exactly an authority on this commander pair, the deck had maybe like 10-20 games on it at the times of retirement. Still, I took a look at your list and jotted down some thoughts:

• Goblin Engineer feels risky. You don't exactly have disposable crap to sac to him to recur whatever you may get, and he can just die before you get to use him, making it doubly risky to tutor something meaningful.
• Kediss radiates damage as non-voltron damage. Just keep that in mind. Slapping two people for 21 will technically take out the third as collateral damage, and you could theoretically try suiting up Ardenn for some double voltron action. But it might also accomplish comparatively little, as it doesn't accelerate your initial clock.
• You've got some rather inefficient equips in Seraphic Greatsword and Maul of the Skyclaves. They both pump by the same amount as one-drops, and the options they have... well, they technically do something, but not a lot. The former forces you to spread aggro and depends on how the rest of the game is going, the latter technically has a little bit of evasion but doesn't feel worth tacking on the extra two mana for the privilege. It's obviously costed with the auto-equip in mind, whereas the commander pairing can break equip cost taxation and doesn't benefit hugely from it.
• The Godo/Helm infinite is shoehorned in and doesn't even properly work as you'd hope. Combat starts, Helm gets slapped on by Ardenn, but no token Godo pops out. You have to wait a whole go around the table for it to do anything, while everyone can see it plain as daylight on the table, attached and everything. Given the fact Helm is absolutely dead in the list outside of this application, I'd cut it. Godo is also debatable, but at least you're running the Argentum Armor chonker for it to be worth it.
• Trust me, you want some deathtouch/evasion.

Thank you very much for the input! As you can see I actually did not get the chance to test the deck. Do you have any specific cards in mind for the proposed cuts?