Work That Flavor Text!

[AnotherAlias]

Festival of Unification
Enchantment
Creatures you control enter the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on them.
Whenever a land you control is tapped for mana, you gain 2 life.
: Put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.
"This is your home now! Our ancestors have longed for the day we might live together in peace!"

Next:

Legend has it that just one of these creatures has enough power to destroy a city in mere minutes.

Though the way out was not pretty, it was necessary.

"Submit... to us... We can... make your dreams... come true..."

[lookingupanddown]

Mausoleum Whispers 2BB
Sorcery
Gain control of target creature unless its controller discards two cards.
You may cast Mausoleum Whispers from your graveyard if you don't control any creatures you don't own.
"Submit... to us... We can... make your dreams... come true..."

Next:
"You have a hole in your plan... around that big."
—Dack Fayden

"Run."

It took months of painstaking work to make the intricate piece. The devil smashed the original and made six copies is seconds.

[OneAndOnly]

Dack's Master Plan -- 1U
Instant {U}
Cipher
As an additional cost to cast Dack's Master Plan, sacrifice X Treasures.
Creatures with power, toughness, or mana value X can't be blocked this turn.
"You have a hole in your plan ... around that big." -- Dack Fayden

Shazahommet's Arrival -- 2UURRBB
Legendary Sorcery {M}
Each other player sacrifices an artifact, a creature, a land, a planeswalker, and a token.
If you control Shazahommet, each other player loses half their life, rounded down. Otherwise, search your deck for a legendary creature card named Shazahommet, End of Spring; Shahazommet, End of Summer; or Shazahommet, End of Time, put it into your hand, and then shuffle.
"Run."

Next:
"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding. I was, uh ... preoccupied."

"No, young grasshopper, 'What is the sound of one Eldrazi clapping' is not an actual koan!"

"Return fire!"

[void_nothing]

Terrax Guard Colonel WB
Creature - Human Soldier
Carapace Armour - As long as it's your turn, if damage would be dealt to Terrax Guard Commissar, prevent all but 1 of that damage.
Whenever a source an opponent controls deals damage to a creature you control, that player loses 1 life.
"Return fire!"
2/2

Shilgengar, Vampire-Bodied 1B
Legendary Creature - Demon Vampire
RW: Create a Blood token. Then you may exile another Vampire you control until that Blood leaves the battlefield. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter and your choice of a first strike, lifelink, menace, vigilance, or haste counter on Shilgengar.
When Shilgengar dies, search your library for a black creature card with mana value equal to or less than the number of counters on Shilgengar and put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle.
"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the wedding. I was, uh... preoccupied."
2/2

Next:
It took months of painstaking work to make the intricate piece. The devil smashed the original and made six copies is seconds.

"I am not this world's only maro, Urza. You will need to watch your step in every Dominarian forest." - Titania

[lookingupanddown]

Nature's Warning 1GG
Instant
Exile target artifact or enchantment. Untap target creature you control with mana value less than or equal to a permanent destroyed this way.
"I am not this world's only maro, Urza. You will need to watch your step in every Dominarian forest."
—Titania

Next:
Existence is a play in which the stars are in the past.

Legend has it that just one of these creatures has enough power to destroy a city in mere minutes.

"And whose idea was it this time?"

[OneAndOnly]

Fall From Fame -- 2WB
Sorcery {R}
Exile all historic permanents, and all historic cards in graveyards.
Existence is a play, in which the stars are in the past.

Urban Renovator -- 7GGRR
Creature - Beast {R}
"Legend has it that just one of these creatures has enough power to destroy a city in mere minutes."
16/14

Bucket of Brains -- 2UB
Artifact {R}
When Bucket of Brains enters the battlefield, each player exiles a card from their hand, then exiles the top card of their library.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, they may copy a card exiled by Bucket of Brains and cast it. They may spend many as though it were mana of any color to cast spells this way.
"And whose idea was it this time?"

Next:
"I was never here."

"Althisar's plan was almost ready. He only needed a clothespin, a needle, and a duck to complete it."

"Quick! Bring me the lantern!"

[AnotherAlias]

Clandestine Hypnotist
Creature — Human Rogue
When Clandestine Hypnotist enters the battlefield or is turned face up, target creature phases out. Counter all of that creatures' abilities.
Disguise
"I was never here."
2/2

Convoluted Scheme
Sorcery
Target opponent creates a 1/1 green Bird creature token unless they discard a card. Target Bird you don't control deals 2 damage to its owner. If an opponent discarded a card this turn, you may draw a card. If an opponent was dealt damage by a Bird source they controlled this turn, you gain control of up to one target 1/1 Bird an opponent controls.
"Althisar's plan was almost ready. He only needed a clothespin, a needle, and a duck to complete it."

Next:
"The giant light in the sky must be mine! It must! Go, my kin, fetch it for me!"
—Meae, Queen of the Mothmen

Forged by a smith in ten years. Destroyed by the sentinel in just ten minutes.

"Remnants of an unknown creature found at station 1. Missing personal reported at station 2. Communications with station 3 down. Strange sounds reported at station 4. Station 5, report?"

[lookingupanddown]

Routine Transmission 2UU
Enchantment
At the beginning of your end step, look at the top X cards of your library, where X is the number of creatures you control that dealt combat damage this turn. Put one of them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
Whenever an opponent loses the game, you may return Routine Transmission from your graveyard to your hand.
"Remnants of an unknown creature found at station 1. Missing personal reported at station 2. Communications with station 3 down. Strange sounds reported at station 4. Station 5, report?"

Next:
"He's right behind me, isn't he?"

Unfortunately for the knight, they weren't done with him yet.

Forged by a smith in ten years. Destroyed by the sentinel in just ten minutes.

[KB52665]

Aphetto Conscription 1bb
Instant (C)
Regenerate target creature you don't control, then gain control of it. It gains decayed.
Unfortunately for the knight, they weren't done with him yet.

"Surprising — truly — that you haven't given thought to your seeing tomorrow."

Here the fine for loitering is a shattered kneecap.

"Princelings have their gold, old men have their deathbeds, and you have a choice to make."

[OneAndOnly]

Tock Devourer -- 1UUU
Creature - Weird {R}
Simple (Abilities of this permanent can only be activated once each turn.)
1U: Remove a time counter from target permanent.
1UUU: Skip your next upkeep step.
1UUUUUU, Skip your next turn: Target player skips their next turn.
"Surprising -- truly -- that you haven't given thought to your seeing tomorrow."
3/3

Street Etiquette -- 1BB
Instant
Destroy target creature if it's untapped.
Here, the fine for loitering is a shattered kneecap.

Next:

Ezdri hated the look on his brother's face -- so he took it away from him.

"I am happy to celebrate my nine-hundred eighty-ninth birthday with you! I hope you may live to see another one!"

"Red. No green. Definitely green."

[lookingupanddown]

Family Resemblance 1UU
Instant
Until end of turn, target creature you control becomes a copy of another target creature you control that shares a creature type with it.
Draw a card.
Ezdri hated the look on his brother's face -- so he took it away from him.

Next:
"Princelings have their gold, old men have their deathbeds, and you have a choice to make."

It took months of painstaking work to make the intricate piece. The devil smashed the original and made six copies in seconds.

"He's right behind me, isn't he?"

[OneAndOnly]

Shadow Stalker -- 4B
Creature - Nightmare {R}
Menace
Whenever a creature with mana value 5 or less enters the battlefield under another player's control, you may put Shadow Stalker onto the battlefield from your hand or the graveyard paired with that creature.
Shadow Stalker and the creature it is paired with must block the other if able.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?"
3/3
.
Next:
It took months of painstaking work to make the intricate piece. The devil smashed the original and made six copies in seconds.

"I am happy to celebrate my nine-hundred eighty-ninth birthday with you! I hope you may live to see another one!"

"Quick! Bring me the lantern!"