October CCL, Signups/Round 1: Fear of the Undead

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bravelion83
OTJ MCC going on now
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Post by bravelion83 » 4 years ago

Done.
Legend
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Legend wrote:
4 years ago
Cyclopean Mass (Rare)
4bb
Creature - Zombie Elemental
8/4
Trample
Whenever Cyclopean Mass deals combat damage to a player, target land that player controls becomes a Swamp until Cyclopean Mass leaves the battlefield. When Cyclopean Mass dies, exile it.
I won't even mention formatting here... (Oops, I just did! Sorry!)
I like this card in general but I have a couple remarks. One is there is no reminder of any kind to mark which lands have become Swamps, which could generate memory issues. Just putting some kind of counter on the land would have been enough. The other remark is that there is an ambiguity in the very last sentence: what gets exiled? The land that has been turned into a Swamp, which would actually exile ALL lands that this has turned into Swamps (I really hope this is not a case, it's just mass land destruction, which I personally hate as a player and I think a lot of other players would also agree), or the Mass itself (hopefully)? And also, if it's the latter (as I hope), the death trigger should have gone on a separate line.
marioguy3
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marioguy3 wrote:
4 years ago
Barabar, Human Bloodseeker
Legendary Creature - Zombie Skeleton
Other black creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain lifelink.
Other red creatures you control get +1/+0 and gain first strike.
Whenever Barabar, Human Bloodseeker deals damage to a human, destroy that creature, then create a 2/2 black zombie creature token.
4/2
Too many Quality mistakes, as they'd be called in the MCC: Missing rarity (which by itself it would already be enough for me not to vote for this card), name not bolded, subtypes not capitalized in the last ability (it should be "...deals damage to a Human, destroy that creature, then create a 2/2 black Zombie creature token"). Too bad, because this card is very flavorful and also quite interesting mechanically. I'm sorry.
netn10
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netn10 wrote:
4 years ago
Thoughts Cleanser 1WW
Creature - Specter (Rare)
Flying
Whenever Thoughts Cleanser deals combat damage to a player, that player exiles two cards from their hand. At the end of that player's next turn, that player return the exiled cards to their hand.
The clerics of Ashenmoth willingly submit their minds to it in hope to be pure.
2/2
Now this is very interesting. I see I haven't been the only one to choose to take a risk this round. If I did green Vampires, you did non-black Specters. And you also tried to explore new design space for white: temporary exile from hand. Let white get card advantage but only for a short time. Kinda like impulsive draw in red. I like the boldness of this design, and in my opinion this experiment is successful. I like it.
Raptorchan
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Raptorchan wrote:
4 years ago
Spooky Visitor 3{u/b}
Creature - Zombie (U)
Spooky Visitor can't be blocked by creatures controlled by enchanted players.
You have to learn the difference between being cursed, being damned and being doomed.
3/3
Big fan of the flavor, especially the flavor text. Less of a fan of the mechanics. I get that this is supposed to come from a set with Curses (probably Innistrad 3, also seeing the colors, UB Zombies are typical Innistrad material), but I think some players might be a little confused by the mention of "enchanted players" if they see this card before they see the Curses. This is actually the only problem I have with this card. I like all the rest.
barbecube
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barbecube wrote:
4 years ago
Crooked Sommelier bb
Creature — Vampire (R)
When Crooked Sommelier enters the battlefield, target opponent gains control of it.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if you don't own Crooked Sommelier, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
Damage dealt by Crooked Sommelier also causes its owner to gain that much life.
3/3
I get what this does, but it's a little too complex for my taste. At first, I thought "the last line could just be 'prevent all damage that would be dealt by Crooked Sommelier'", then I realized that it's functionally different in multiplayer. The Sommelier could attack a third player, and you would get the life. But in traditional duel that's still true. I'm not a big fan of this card overall. I'm sorry.
Jimmy Groove
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Jimmy Groove wrote:
4 years ago
Fresh Cadaver 1B
Creature - Zombie (U)
Fresh Cadaver is a Skeleton as long as there is a -1/-1 counter on it.
1B, put a -1/-1 counter on Fresh Cadaver: Create a Food token.
"I only need the skeleton. Don't let the meat go to waste."
2/2
This is just perfect. The only things I can mention is the lack of reminder text for the Food token, and that technically the word "put" should be capitalized in the activation cost, but I have absolutely no real problems with this card. In fact, it's by far my favorite in this bracket.
Top 3

1st place: Jimmy Groove
2nd place: netn10
3rd place: Raptorchan
Author of the MCC Guidelines and FAQ. | The June MCC is ongoing. Theme is OTJ. Most recent thread: Round 2. Design deadline on the 15th.


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Legend
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Post by Legend » 4 years ago

slimytrout wrote:
4 years ago
Subject1

Legend: Cyclopean Mass ...it's cyclopean, so it's got one giant eye? Also why isn't it a Cyclops? And why does it make things into swamps?

Cyclopean
Cyclopean Tomb
Cyclopean Giant
“Comboing in Commander is like dunking on a seven foot hoop.” – Dana Roach

“Making a deck that other people want to play against – that’s Commander.” – Gavin Duggan

"I want my brain to win games, not my cards." – Sheldon Menery

Legend
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Post by Legend » 4 years ago

woops
Last edited by Legend 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
“Comboing in Commander is like dunking on a seven foot hoop.” – Dana Roach

“Making a deck that other people want to play against – that’s Commander.” – Gavin Duggan

"I want my brain to win games, not my cards." – Sheldon Menery

Legend
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Post by Legend » 4 years ago

marioguy3
The name makes it sound like it's a "human that seeks blood" rather than an "undead that seeks human blood".
It's a Zombie Skeleton, which unlike Demon Dragon and other "hybrid" creature types, is a flavor washout for me.
Neither of the creature types are monored, nor should they be, yet it can be cast with just red mana.
There are some formatting issues. Your creatures should "gain" abilities, they should "have" them. And creature types like Human and Zombie are capitalized in rules text

netn10
Novel. Too much "that player" instead of "they" and "their". I like seeing white messing with your opponent's play pattern.

Raptorchan
Signpost. The wording though technically correct is slightly confusing to me. It almost sounds like it can't be blocked by "enchanted creatures". I suspect that it should be worded like the Beebles "can't be blocked as long as defending player is enchanted" in order to take the focus off of creatures and direct it at opponents.

barbecube
Political. I can only imagine this in a multiplayer product. Which is fine, just saying.

Jimmy Groove
Tasty. "Put" should be capitalized. I miss the days when Skeletons were the tribe of regeneration.

Henlock
Sweet. It shouldn't already be an undead creature type. The commander damage clause is clever. I like it. It would be a great four or five colored legend to satisfy everyone that would want an "official" Eternalize commander.
“Comboing in Commander is like dunking on a seven foot hoop.” – Dana Roach

“Making a deck that other people want to play against – that’s Commander.” – Gavin Duggan

"I want my brain to win games, not my cards." – Sheldon Menery

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spacemonaut
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Post by spacemonaut » 4 years ago

Critiques
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BeneTleilax wrote:
4 years ago
Graveyard Shade 1BB
Creature-Shade R
B: Graveyard Shade gets +1/+1 until end of turn
When Graveyard Shade dies, you may return target creature with converted mana cost less than Graveyard Shade's power from your graveyard to play. If you do, exile Graveyard Shade.
1/4
Nice application of shade pumping. I wonder about its power level for the resurrection but playtesting would have to sort that out.
kwanyeegor-ii wrote:
4 years ago
Civic Wraith 2BB
Creature--Wraith (Uncommon)
Nonbasic landwalk
Whenever Civic Wraith deals combat damage to a player, that player may sacrifice a nonbasic land. If they don't, they lose life equal to the number of nonbasic lands they control and you gain that much life.
2/3
I feel like the flavor's not quite there, but it's an interesting approach to land removal.
Given how many nonbasic lands see play outside limited this is going to be unblockable fairly reliably, and it's a fairly powerful package.
Ink-Treader wrote:
4 years ago
Steward of the Cycle 1BG
Creature - Zombie Druid (R)
If a permanent would be put into your graveyard from the battlefield, you may exile it instead. If you do, you may search your library for a card with the same name as that permanent, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then, shuffle your library.
"As empires rise and fall, so too does life blossom and decay, ever onwards."
2/3
Very beautiful design. Nice work.
Gateways7 wrote:
4 years ago
Ilystra of the Scarlet Order 2WB
Legendary Creature - Vampire (rare)
Lifelink, deathtouch
Whenever another creature with lifelink enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on it and you gain 2 life.
Whenever another creature with deathtouch enters the battlefield under your control, you draw a card and you lose 2 life.
3/2
This card's an excellent package. I love this lifelink/deathtouch synergy existing, and I love the way it's executed.
Cardz5000 wrote:
4 years ago
Nullmind Vessel
1B
Creature - Zombie
When Nullmind Vessel dies, target opponent reveals their hand and you choose a nonland card from it. Exile that card until Nullmind Vessel leaves the graveyard.

When Nullmind Vessel is put into your graveyard form your library, you may put it into your hand.
2/2
Interesting mechanical approach to a Duress effect, and a compelling flavor for that approach.
Krishnath wrote:
4 years ago
Dracolich 4BBB
Creature - Dragon Skeleton (Mythic)
Flying, menace
When Dracolich dies, put Dracolich into it's owner's library third from the top.
BB: Dracolich gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
5/5
Am somewhat disappointed this isn't a reference to Draco, lol.
I like this a lot though! Nice dragon lich. And I really like your borrowing from the WAR gods for an approach to lichdom. :D
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1. Ink-Treader
2. Gateways7
3. Krishnath

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Gateways7
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Post by Gateways7 » 4 years ago

Critiques
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Cardz500: This doesn't seem like it does that much - cards like Creeping Chill show that an effect that's normally about 2 mana Sovereign's Bite can just be played straight from grave to library, and this feels undercosted for that effect. I'd also like to point out that the death trigger on Nullmind feels like it defeats the purpose of running it in a deck that would want a full graveyard (like delve cards), and if you're going to print the card it might as well just be a death-triggered Thoughtseize. This feels underpowered and has some weird triggers.

Krishnath: This is a pretty fine card, although it doesn't really feel mythic. The recursion, the shade ability, and the flying/menace make this a pretty powerful but I think overall balanced card (although it might be really pushed for Limited).

Slimytrout: Subtle Shade is a pretty cool card, but my problem with that second ability is that there's no reason they wouldn't just chump block with a creature they didn't want instead of taking the damage and sacrificing it - it feels like the decision-making is overall less meaningful.

Subject16: Oh this is cool. I love the idea that the Zombies keep on coming back unless you let them live, and the overall idea of being able to just constantly cast spells from your graveyard and then force your opponent to choose whether to take damage or get the Zombie back is such an interesting one. Big fan!

bravelion83: Not a huge fan of mono-green Vampires, and the flavorful justification in the FT feels weird and not very Vampire-y. The card itself is pretty cool, but the planeswalker-removal is very strong, and feels unfun. I feel like it should just be creatures, but other than that I like this.

Legend: This feels too weak, as it can just be blocked and killed very easily, and the "upside" of turning things to Swamps isn't very useful, especially at later turns in the game. It's a cool idea, though.
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2. Slimytrout
3. bravelion83

kwanyeegor-ii
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Post by kwanyeegor-ii » 4 years ago

Gateways7 - keyword tribal has been tried before but mostly just flying so good originality. I like how it feels mirrored. definitely want to play alongside vampire nighthawk lol.

Cardz5000 - extra boost for mill decks? except I don't think those decks really need a 2/2 for two. dies ability might be too strong for the cost. nice ideas tho

Krishnath - obvious limited bomb but kind of just a big beater, it feels undead but not smart like a lich or ancient dragon would be

slimytrout - hmm super strong triggered ability however it can't be used until you activate the ability - might be op especially in limited but good new take on shades

Subject16 - wording doesn't work right but cool idea. you would have to say when a zombie enters the battlefield, if it was cast from your graveyard, instead of etb from graveyard bc creature spells etb from the stack. lord that also gives a drawback is interesting but the card is also similar to sedris, the traitor king

BeneTleilax - very cool reanimation card. I like keying off the power. makes pumping it the turn it dies not feel wasted


1. Gateways7
2. BeneTleilax
3. Cardz5000
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barbecube
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Post by barbecube » 4 years ago

Jimmy Groove: This is fine. I'm not too excited about it! But there's nothing obviously wrong with it.

Henlock: I feel like this is just unnecessarily awkward and complicated.

spacemonaut: Is there a special reason Malam uses +counters rather than simply getting +X/+X for creature cards in your graveyard? It's pretty cool, I just find that detail a little baffling. (I know there's a case for it due to reanimation, but I'm just not sure how strong that case is.)

Ink-Treader: Sure, this feels appropriate for Golgari.

kwanyeegor-ii: I feel like the landwalk ability on this is a bit too much. There's just a ton of nonbasic hate on this card.

BeneTleilax: Sure.

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1. spacemonaut
2. Ink-Treader
3. Jimmy Groove
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