New Challenge Every Day - June 1st: Noncreature Artifacts

[Subject16]

Today's Challenge:
Noncreature Artifacts

.::To Enter::.
In a single post:

• Name exactly two other players to vote for their entries for the previous challenge. (In the event that there are two or fewer entries that you are allowed to vote for, you may vote for only one.)

• Make a card that fits the current challenge.

• Include an "If I Win" (IIW) for tomorrow's challenge if you win.

Each day we use the challenge of the previous day's winner. In the case of a tie, we'll use the IIW of the tied player who has least overall points. In case of a further tie, the IIW of the earlier poster will be used.

.::Scoring::.

JovialJovian 78 (+3)
dyd 68 (+2)
Subject16 63 (+1)
netn10 63 (+3)
void_nothing 60 (+3)
Lorn Asbord Schutta 49
kwanyeegor-ii 48
Mimicvat 33
folding_music 17 (+1)
FoilSquared 14
Phyrexian Editor 10
wizyard 10
Pygyzy 10 (+1)
haywire 6
tempoEDH 5
Legend 3
chochky 2

.::Note of the Day::.
I'm back again as host of the NCED. The first couple rounds may not last exactly 24 hours as void and I live in different timezones, so be mindful of that as we kick off this month's competition.

Congratulations to @JovialJovian for winning May's NCED!! We saw some amazing designs from him this last month and it was well earned!

.::Yesterday's Submissions::.
Carnival

Votes: dyd, Pygzy

Rakdos' Puppet 2
Artifact Creature - Golem (Rare)
BR, T, Sacrifice Rakdos' Puppet: It deals 3 damage to target player. That player discards two cards.
2, T, Sacrifice Rakdos' Puppet: You gain 3 life.
Too spicy for human beings, too irresistible not to try.
2/1

IIW: Colored food

votes: void_nothing, JovialJovian

Toffee Apple Stall
Land (R)
: Add .
, Tap an untapped creature you control: That creature and each equipment attached to it gains ", Sacrifice this permanent: Gain 3 life." until end of turn.

IIW: commanders with disadvantages

Votes: Subject16, netn10

Cotton Candy 1
Artifact - Food Equipment
Equipped creature has reach.
2, T, Sacrifice Cotton Candy: Put a +1/+1 counter on equipped creature. You gain 3 life.
Equip 2

IIW: Transform into an enemy color (e.g. Civilized Scholar)

dyd, JovialJovian

Corn Dog 1RG
Creature — Plant Hound (Uncommon)
Haste
Whenever Corn Dog deals combat damage to a player, exile the top card of that player's library with a fetch counter on it. If it's a creature card, create a food token. Otherwise, put a +1/+1 counter on Corn Dog.
Closely related to the igneous hot dogs, corn dogs are a favored pet among sproutling families.
2/2

IIW: Hybrid Mythics

Upchuck WB
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a creature an opponent controls becomes tapped, if that creature started the turn tapped, destroy it.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls becomes untapped, if it's not the first time during that player's untap step, destroy it.

Vote: netn10, void_nothing
IIW: Famous robots

void_nothing, netn10

Squirrel on a Stick 0
Artifact - Food
2, T, Sacrifice Squirrel on a Stick: You gain 3 life.
Whenever a squirrel creature dies, exile it. If you do, return Squirrel on a Stick from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Try it, you'll like it!

IIW: Haunt

Votes: folding_music, JovialJovian
HM: Literally everyone else

Decadence Cones 3
Artifact Creature - Food Gnome (U)
Lifelink
2, T, Sacrifice Decadence Cones: You gain 3 life. If W was spent to activate this ability, you gain an additional 3 life.
2, T, Sacrifice Decadence Cones: Return target nonland permanent card with converted mana cost 3 or less from your graveyard to your hand. If B was spent to activate this ability, return it to the battlefield instead.
2/2

IIW: Devils in disguise

[Pygyzy]

Null Entropy 1W
Enchantment (C]
If a noncreature artifact would deal damage to you, prevent 1 of that damage

Subject16, folding_music
IIW: Comedy Horror Musical

[JovialJovian]

I'd like to thank the Academy, all my worthy opponents, and, of course God...

Votes: Subject16, folding_music

Bottled Spell X
Artifact
~ enters the battlefield tapped.
When ~ enters the battlefield, you may exile an instant or sorcery spell with converted mana cost X from your hand.
T, Sacrifice Bottled Spell: You may cast the exiled card without paying its mana cost. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.

IIW: Puppetry

[kwanyeegor-ii]

subject16 jovialjovian

Lava Container 4
Artifact (Rare)
T: Add RR. Put a pressure counter on Lava Container. Then, if it has three or more pressure counters on it, sacrifice it and it deals 3 damage to each creature, planeswalker, and player.

iiw nonartifact creatures (lol)

[void_nothing]

Votes: netn10, Pygyzy

Mishra's Armor 6
Artifact (R)
Whenever a source an opponent controls deals damage to you, Mishra's Armor deals 2 damage to that source's controller.
Cycling 2
Mishra lashed out against damage to his body, but welcomed in damage to his soul.

IIW: Vithian holdouts on Grixis

[dyd]

Votes: folding_music, JovialJovian

Petrificator 3u
Artifact
When ~ enters the battlefield, up to one target creature becomes an artifact and loses all other card types for as long as you control ~. (It still has its abilities, but it's no longer a creature.)
4, t, Sacrifice ~: Draw a card.
"Buy our new and improved petrificator and forget all your basilisk accidents forever. You'll never risk to have your mother-in-law's statue in the garden. Unless you want to, of course." — Maz-T'rot, Inventor and Promoter

IIW: movie titles

[Mimicvat]

Vote: Subject16, Jovialjovian

Artificial Habitat 3
Artifact (U)
~ enters the battlefield as a copy of any land you control.

IIW: Cards with variations on effects similar to Mimic Vat

[folding_music]

votes: void_nothing, Subject16

Rules of Engagement
Legendary Artifact (R)
Skip your next attack phase: Put two respect counters on Rules of Engagement. Only any opponent may play this ability and only once each turn.
At the end of each of your turns, if there are no respect counters on Rules of Engagement, put a -1/-1 counter on each creature you don't control.
rwu: Remove a respect counter from Rules of Engagement.
The Azorius and Boros leaders could always put their heads together and discover a technicality that supported more massacre.

IIW: more thinly veiled attacks on police brutality lol

[Subject16]

dyd, JovialJovian

General's Banner 3
Artifact — Equipment (Rare)
Creatures you control that share a color with equipped creature get +1/+1.
While an opponent is choosing targets as part of casting a spell they control or activating an ability they control, that player must choose at least equipped creature if able.
Equip 3
Flagbearers are short-lived on Valla.

IIW: Artifact Angels

[netn10]

Votes: JovialJovian, void_nothing

Teferie's Wands 2WU
Legendary Artifact (Mythic)
Teferie's Wands cost 0 to cast if you control a Teferi planewalker.
WU, T: Until the end of your next turn, you may activate Teferi planeswalkers' abilities any time you can cast an instant.
2WU, T: Exile target permanent, then you may return it to the battlefield.

IIW: M21 Maro's Predictions.

[Lorn Asbord Schutta]

Votes: JovialJovian; Subject 16

Torned Notebook
Artifact (U)
, : Scry 2.
, : Look at two cards from the bottom of your library. You may put any number of them on top of your library in any order. Then put the rest on the bottom of your library in any order.
The middle pages are missing, but with enough time and wits their mystery might be solved.

IIW: Mutate