November MCC, Round 1 - Shiver With Fear

[void_nothing]

Banner based on Old Fogey, by Douglas Shuler and Wizards of the Coast.. Thanks to bravelion83 for the "Core Set Style" MCC Logo

November MCC, Round 1 - Shiver With Fear

Welcome to the November MCC! It's Deprecated Keyword Abilities Month here at the MCC.

Main Challenge: Design a creature card with fear.
Subchallenge 1: Your card is not an artifact or black.
Subchallenge 2: Your card is legendary

DEADLINES

Design deadline: Tuesday, November 8th 23:59 EDT

Judging deadline: Friday, November 11th 23:59 EDT

Clarifications

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Main Challenge: Fear is the now-obsolete-for-Standard (but present on one recent design) keyword meaning "This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and black creatures." Your card must be a creature on the typeline and must have "fear" in the line of its rules text containing its evergreen keywords - in other words, it must have the ability at all times and naturally.

MCC Rubric

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Design
(X/3) Appeal - Do the different player psychographics (Timmy/Johhny/Spike) have a use for the card?
(X/3) Elegance - Is the card easily understandable at a glance? Do all the flavor and mechanics combined as a whole make sense?

Development
(X/3) Viability - How well does the card fit into the color wheel? Does it break or bend the rules of the game? Is it the appropriate rarity?
(X/3) Balance - Does the card have a power level appropriate for contemporary constructed/limited environments without breaking them? Does it play well in casual and multiplayer formats? Does it create or fit into a deck/archetype? Does it create an oppressive environment?

Creativity
(X/3) Uniqueness - Has a card like this ever been printed before? Does it use new mechanics, ideas, or design space? Does it combine old ideas in a new way? Overall, does it feel "fresh"?
(X/3) Flavor - Does the name seem realistic for a card? Does the flavor text sound professional? Do all the flavor elements synch together to please Vorthos players?

Polish
(X/3) Quality - Points deducted for incorrect spelling, grammar, and templating.
(X/2) Main Challenge (*) - Was the main challenge satisfied? Was it approached in a unique or interesting way? Does the card fit the intent of the challenge?
(X/2) Subchallenges - One point awarded per satisfied subchallenge condition.

Total: X/25
*An entry with 0 points here is subject to disqualification.

Judges:
void_nothing
Rithaniel

If you are not interested in playing, please sign up to judge the contest!

Players:
Anyone is welcome to enter this first round

[netn10]

It That Smells Blood 8UUU
Legendary Creature - Shark Horror (Mythic)
Fear, trample
Whenever a player loses 1 or more life, if It That Smells Blood is in your command zone, you get a suspense counter.
This spell cost 1 less for each suspense counter you have.
10/10

[Riria]

Unfathomable Flux 3UR
Legendary Creature - Weird (MR)
Fear
Unfathomable Flux's power is equal to the number of instant and sorcery spells that were cast this turn.
4U, discard a card: Counter target spell. This ability costs X less to activate, where X is Unfathomable Flux's power.
The scaffolding of mana in which its essence resides grows more tedious on the mind with every nudge.
*/5

[bravelion83]

Fergel, Terror of Geier Reach 2RR
Legendary Creature — Phoenix (R)
Flying
Fear (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)
Whenever Fergel attacks, you may pay B. When you do, target creature defending player controls gets -1/-1 and becomes black until end of turn.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls dies, you may pay 2BB. When you do, return Fergel from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped.
3/3

[Lorn Asbord Schutta]

Apsuchoclast
Creature — Human Cleric (U)
Fear (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)
: Exile target creature blocking Apsuchoclast. This ability costs less to activate for each card in your hand.
The only thing that dares to stand in his way are mockeries of life he will destroy.
3/1

[marioguy3]

Vennom, Power Hydra
Legendary Creature - Hydra (Mythic Rare)
Fear (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)
If one or more -1/-1 counters would be put on Vennom, Power Hydra for the first time each turn, instead put that many +1/+1 counters on it instead.
When Vennom, Power Hydra dies, exile it and draw three cards.
6/6

[haywire]

Lemnex, the Evangelizer 1W{WP}U
Legendary Creature - Phyrexian Human Cleric {MR}
Fear, lifelink
Phyrexians you control have fear.
{WP}:Target creature you control becomes an artifact in addition to its other types. Any player may activate this ability.
1B{BP}: Target artifact creature becomes a Phyrexian in addition to its other types.
2UU{UP}: Gain control of target Phyrexian. Activate this ability only as a sorcery.
2/3

[MonoRedMage]

Tholentag, the Old Revulsion 3R
Legendary Creature - Nightmare Ape {R}
Fear
Whenever Tholentag, the Old Revulsion deals combat damage to a player, you and that player each discard your hand. That player draws cards equal to the damage dealt and you draw twice that many cards.
2/3

[slimytrout]

Yirrai, Dreadshape 2U
Legendary Creature — Shapeshifter (R)
Fear
You may have Yirrai, Dreadshape enter the battlefield as a copy of any black creature on the battlefield except it has fear.
2B, Discard a creature card: Return Yirrai from your graveyard to the battlefield. Activate only as a sorcery.
2/1

[Freyleyes]

Powers, Angel of Sins 3WW
Legendary Creature - Angel {M}
Flying, fear
You have protection from permanents with Sin counters on them. (You can't be targeted, dealt damage, or enchanted by any permanents with Sin counters on them.)
Whenever a creature deals damage to you, put a Sin counter on it.
"Can you carry the burden of your sins?"
4/4

[void_nothing]

Just a few hours remain to enter!

[kwanyeegor-ii]

The Knight of the Ugly Countenance 3GW
Legendary Creature - Human Knight (Rare)
Fear, haste
GW: All damage that would be dealt to another target creature or planeswalker this turn is dealt to The Knight of the Ugly Countenance instead.
He has the face of a fiend and the heart of a kindly king.
5/4

[void_nothing]

And the round is closed! Here are our judging assignments:

void_nothing:
netn10
bravelion83
marioguy3
haywire
slimytrout

@Rithaniel:
Riria
Lorn Asbord Schutta
MonoRedMage
Freyleyes
kwanyeegor-ii

The bottom-scoring contestant in each judge's list will be eliminated and the top 4 will move on.

[Rithaniel]

Judgments

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Freyleyes

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Powers, Angel of Sins 3WW
Legendary Creature - Angel {M}
Flying, fear
You have protection from permanents with Sin counters on them. (You can't be targeted, dealt damage, or enchanted by any permanents with Sin counters on them.)
Whenever a creature deals damage to you, put a Sin counter on it.
"Can you carry the burden of your sins?"
4/4

Design
(2/3) Appeal - This thing is a beat-stick, so Timmy appreciates it for that. Spike also likes being able to swing for 4 almost-unblockable damage every turn, not to mention the additional benefit of protection from things. Johnny is the only one not seeing much fun in this.
(3/3) Elegance - The only tiny detail I'd point out is that a name being a plural makes it feel a little awkward to read, but I don't feel that it's enough to take off any points.

Development
(3/3) Viability - This is technically a bleed, but since the round has a subchallenge for the card not being black and Dust Elemental did this before, I'm not taking off for it. Everything else fits within the colors and rarity just fine, of course.
(1/3) Balance - I think this card is too strong. Like, having both flying and fear makes blocking this creature require either a black flier or an artifact flier. It's safe to say that your opponent won't have that in 19 out of 20 games. Of course, if it were just french vanilla with flying and fear, it wouldn't be overpowered, except maybe in limited. The thing that pushes it over the edge is the fact that it removes most of the threat of not leaving blockers up. Like, with this out, creatures can only attack you once, so swinging with the nigh-unblockable 4/4 is something you can do every single turn, and still end up safer than without it.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Nothing exactly like this has been done before, but the general design direction is very well-trod ground: "Big, beat-stick angel with a strong denial effect."
(2.5/3) Flavor - The flavor is clear as day, but perhaps bland. We've seen the "angel of X" before.

Polish
(2.5/3) Quality - Don't capitalize the names of counters.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Yep, this is a creature with fear.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Yep, this is non-black and legendary.

Total: 20/25

kwanyeegor-ii

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The Knight of the Ugly Countenance 3GW
Legendary Creature - Human Knight (Rare)
Fear, haste
GW: All damage that would be dealt to another target creature or planeswalker this turn is dealt to The Knight of the Ugly Countenance instead.
He has the face of a fiend and the heart of a kindly king.
5/4

Design
(1.5/3) Appeal - This creature is mainly appreciated by Timmy. Timmy likes everything in this card, including the activated ability, because it sounds impressive. Spike likes this guy as a beat-stick, but is more on-the-fence than anything. Johnny isn't seeing any clear use for this card that isn't better served by other cards.
(3/3) Elegance - Things seem comprehendible to me, however I think the character would end up with a different name.

Development
(3/3) Viability - I would treat fear in white as technically-a-bleed, if it weren't for the fact that non-black fear is a subchallenge of this round. Haste in green is much more common than fear in white, and even that is a rare sight, after all. That being said, this makes sense for its colors and rarity.
(2.5/3) Balance - Something to keep in mind is that fear is a bit stronger than flying, as far as evasion mechanics go. This guy being an evasive, haste 5/4 for five mana makes him a very decent beat-stick, almost to the point of being too strong on his own. However, with that alone, he isn't quite at the point of being overpowered. The activated ability in the design adds another wrinkle, though. If the activated ability could target the player, I'd label the card as too strong, for certain, because that would remove most risk of swinging with it. Since it doesn't target players, of course, it sidesteps this issue a bit, though not completely. That ability can still can remove some risks associated with swinging, so the design does end up a fuzz too strong.

Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness - An evasive haste creature is not usually what you see in a knight. Also, oddly enough, the damage-redirect ability has never been done as a non-tapping activated ability. This card is doing unique stuff.
(2.5/3) Flavor - I like the flavor. It's not something we see often, and it's clearly reflected and reinforced in the mechanics. I take off half a point because the name is a low-effort name. You can give the character a name, at least.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Yep, this is a creature with fear.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Yep, this is non-black and legendary.

Total: 22.5/25

Lorn Asbord Schutta

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Apsuchoclast
Creature — Human Cleric (U)
Fear (This creature can't be blocked except by artifact creatures and/or black creatures.)
: Exile target creature blocking Apsuchoclast. This ability costs less to activate for each card in your hand.
The only thing that dares to stand in his way are mockeries of life he will destroy.
3/1

Design
(3/3) Appeal - Timmy sees this card as a smaller beat-stick with a splashy ability, and thus is mostly appeased. Spike, meanwhile, sees this as either an unblockable creature or repeated removal, and so is in love. Johnny sees a combo where they make all creatures black and make everything block the Apsuchoclast when they have 8 cards in hand.
(2/3) Elegance - Things seem to come together well, but the only thing that doesn't "click" for me is why this creature cares about cards in hand. It might be elucidated by knowing what an Apsuchoclast is, but that doesn't appear to be a word, and I can't figure out the etymology of it, either.

Development
(1.5/3) Viability - I would consider fear in white as a bleed if it weren't in this specific set of challenges, but I'm allowing Dust Elemental as a justification for that particular bend of the color pie. Aside from that, this seems like a very powerful setup for an uncommon creature. I'd expect repeated removal to be something saved for rare or mythic.
(1/3) Balance - So, an evasive 3/1 for two mana is already pushing things, but this card is essentially unblockable when you take the activated ability into account. That ability is going to be affordable as long as the player keeps some cards in hand, and since only a rare few creatures would be able to block it, even without the ability, I'm fine with treating this as equivalent to an unblockable creature. I feel that an unblockable 3/1 for two mana is definitely too strong, particularly in limited, which matters more for this card because it is uncommon.

Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness - I feel that this is a unique-enough design, particularly with the activated ability.
(3/3) Flavor - I get the sense that this is a demon hunter of sorts, seeking out abominations with the goal in mind of eradicating them. I wish I knew what an Apsuchoclast was, but you painted the flavor in such a way that I can assign a meaning of "intimidating demon hunter" to the word.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Yep, this is a creature with fear.
(1/2) Subchallenges - Well, it's non-black.

Total: 19.5/25

MonoRedMage

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Tholentag, the Old Revulsion 3R
Legendary Creature - Nightmare Ape {R}
Fear
Whenever Tholentag, the Old Revulsion deals combat damage to a player, you and that player each discard your hand. That player draws cards equal to the damage dealt and you draw twice that many cards.
2/3

Design
(2/3) Appeal - Timmy doesn't like the fact that this guy isn't a very impressive impact on the board, but Spike is interested in the powerful card advantage and Johnny would enjoy buffing this guy to get bigger draws.
(2/3) Elegance - The flavor isn't entirely unified, but the mechanics are simple and straight-forward.

Development
(2/3) Viability - So, this is a bleed, even considering the subchallenge for this round. Red has only gotten fear when it required a splash of black. I'm only really accepting white and maybe artifact creatures as viable ways to satisfy that particular subchallenge. That being said, everything else in the design feels appropriate.
(1/3) Balance - Okay, so, this design is an interesting space. It's not an entirely impressive creature for combat, but it gives a very impressive amount of card advantage. Fear is a bit stronger than flying, so Tholentag is likely to connect fairly regularly. When it does, it both neutralizes your opponent's card advantage and gives you at least two cards of advantage. That's very powerful, and the fact that it can be repeatable is a serious concern. This nightmare ape can be quite stifling, as a result, as it singlehandedly keeps an opponent at a disadvantage.

Creativity
(2.5/3) Uniqueness - We don't often see lopsided Wheel of Fortune effects, so that's new, but otherwise this is just a repackaged Dragon Mage.
(1.5/3) Flavor - The flavor, in this design, doesn't quite come together for me. I get that this is a terrifying, monstrous ape, and also an ancient creature, but that's all nebulous. I get nothing specific from this flavor.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Yep, this is a creature with fear.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Yep, this is non-black and legendary.

Total: 18/25

Riria

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Unfathomable Flux 3UR
Legendary Creature - Weird (MR)
Fear
Unfathomable Flux's power is equal to the number of instant and sorcery spells that were cast this turn.
4U, discard a card: Counter target spell. This ability costs X less to activate, where X is Unfathomable Flux's power.
The scaffolding of mana in which its essence resides grows more tedious on the mind with every nudge.
*/5

Design
(3/3) Appeal - Timmy sees this creature as big, impressive legend, and is pleased. Spike sees this creature as a way to shut out their opponent, given enough mana to feed into the activated ability, and is pleased. Johnny sees this creature as a good finisher in a storm deck, as well as a creature he can try to buff for almost-free counterspells, and is pleased.
(2/3) Elegance - So, the fear keyword doesn't feel appropriate on this design, nor is it really justified by the flavor. For that matter, the flavor could be more clear.

Development
(2/3) Viability - So, this is a bleed, even considering the subchallenge for this round. Red has only gotten fear when it required a splash of black, and the same is true for blue, except in the case of the un-card Greater Morphling. I'm only really accepting white and maybe artifact creatures as viable ways to satisfy that particular subchallenge. That being said, everything else in the design is good.
(1/3) Balance - So, if it weren't for the activated ability, I'd call this fair and balanced. It's an evasive creature that gets more powerful and more aggressive the more instants and sorceries are cast. However, this creature is also able to repeatedly counter spells without any conditions, provided enough mana is available. That ability is dangerous even if it only ever costs . If nothing else, it can provide a single hard counter each turn, since the creature itself costs five mana. That, alone, can be oppressive. However, then, get a couple +1/+1 counters on this guy and suddenly a player has as many counterspells as they have cards in hand. This card is too strong.

Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness - This is definitely doing some interesting things. This is very clearly a classic "creature that likes instants and sorceries" design, but the repeated counterspell that depends on the power of the creature is unexplored territory.
(1/3) Flavor - The flavor doesn't come together for me. I get the feeling that this creature is a sentient web of magic, but the flavor is all very nebulous and feels ill-defined. Also, the name is too simple. If this is a legendary character, surely they deserve a name.

Polish
(2.5/3) Quality - The word "discard" should be capitalized.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Yep, this is a creature with fear.
(2/2) Subchallenges - Yep, this is non-black and legendary.

Total: 18.5/25

Results

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Bold Advance:

• kwanyeegor-ii - 22.5
• Freyleyes - 20
• Lorn Asbord Schutta - 19.5
• Riria - 18.5
• MonoRedMage - 18

[void_nothing]

netn10

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Mostly a Txmmy and Jxnny card for its size and oddness - not the kind of monoblue commander Spike would get into, as they're more a Urza, Lord High Artificer or Azami, Lady of Scrolls type of person.
(2.5/3) Elegance - The suspense counters involve a bit of tracking but otherwise this is pretty easy to figure out.

Development
(2/3) Viability - This is sort of borderline color pie-wise in multiple ways - the suspense counter gaining trigger in particular - but oh wow, that flavor. Mythic looks good.
(3/3) Balance - This looks fine - it's basically always getting damage through one way or another and it's 10/10 but that cost reduction only works if it's your commander and only with getting players to lose life REPEATEDLY - sure there are fetchlands but painlands and shocklands are a no-go in monocolor, and there are few and far between unrestricted life payment effects otherwise.

Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness - Basically a huge cost-reducing beater in the tradition of Ghalta, Primal Hunger, but definitely some new twists here.
(3/3) Flavor - Sometimes a card's inspiration is obvious, but that is also sometimes a good thing. Cue the Jaws theme!

Polish
(2.5/3) Quality - Cost reduction ability is missing a "to cast" in there.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 20.5/25

bravelion83

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Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - Txmmy likes flying AND fear. Jxnny would consider this but probably has better recursive creatures for their particular purposes. Spike likes the efficiency and versatility.
(2.5/3) Elegance - A bit wordy, but each ability makes sense on its own.

Development
(2.5/3) Viability - It's almost easy to argue there's nothing red about this card, but overall it has enough of that Phoenix feel to make it make sense as a red card with a bit of black to it. Rare is fine - would not want this at mythic.
(3/3) Balance - Sure - Nothing too pushed here. This is a reliable very very evasive beater that can easily keep coming back, but doing so costs a fair amount of mana. I'd argue this even plays it too safe: sort of wish that attack trigger did a little more. Like forcing the targeted creature to block Fergel if able as a way to let it hunt flyers?

Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness - A remix of old ideas, but a unique whole.
(2/3) Flavor - Pretty nice, but the name's kind of generic - I'm imagining this as a vulture-styled phoenix, which makes it better for me.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Fine.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 21/25

marioguy3

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Design
(2.5/3) Appeal - Txmmy likes the size, Spike likes the pushed-ness. While there's a new kind of interaction here, Jxnny feels there are less style points for using something that's sort of obvious in what it can do as well as generically powerful.
(1/3) Elegance - There are three abilities here that don't have much to do with one another, one of which (the -1/-1 to +1/+1 counter replacement effect) is quite complicated in and of itself. A card like this would invite Questing Beast comparisons.

Development
(2.5/3) Viability - The point of the subchallenge asking for nonblack, nonartifact fear was not just contrarian - I was looking for each of these designs to find a way to justify that choice. There's essentially no justification for the fear here - not in the flavor, not even a saboteur ability. Mythic is fine even just because of the sheer power.
(1/3) Balance - VERY pushed - This card forms easy infinite loops with a lot of other combo pieces involving it leaving and returning to the battlefield (even stuff like persist loops because you choose the order of the triggered abilities on death), it's a 6/6 with one of the less interactive evasion keywords for five which is strong even for green, and the death trigger means that killing this actually is a card DISADVANTAGE for your opponents.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - There are certainly unique parts here but it feels like a jumble rather than a cohesive whole.
(1/3) Flavor - I have no idea why this card has fear, or really why the other abilities are there (except maybe the replacement effect which is kind of Hydra-ish). The name is incredibly generic.

Polish
(2/3) Quality - Reminder text not italicized. There are two "insteads" in that replacement ability.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 16/25

haywire

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Design
(3/3) Appeal - Txmmy wants a Phyrexian army with fear. Jxnny sees a lot of moving parts. Spike sees something that can readily permanently take control of multiple creatures.
(0.5/3) Elegance - So this is - a lot. A whole lot. Three activated abilities that have different timings, and one of which any player can activate, and that involve type changes that don't end at end of turn... even the mana costs are complicated with all the colors and the Phyrexian symbols.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Colors look basically fine - no reason blue can't grant evasion - and this feels mythic.
(2.5/3) Balance - These abilities are expensive, but I feel a bit leery of any repeatable ability that allows gaining control of creatures with no kind of out (apart from removing the creature from the battlefield).

Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness - This feels really mostly like a riff on Memnarch. Phyrexian tribal is a new twist but it also feels quite familiar.
(2.5/3) Flavor - It works, but this is sort of "generic white Phyrexian" flavor.

Polish
(2.5/3) Quality - That last ability's clause should, nowadays, say just "Activate only as a sorcery." (There's also a space missing between the first activated ability's cost and the rest of its text.)
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 19.5/25

slimytrout

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Design
(3/3) Appeal - Txmmy, Jxnny, and Spike all like clone effects, particularly ones that can recur themselves easily.
(2.5/3) Elegance - Adding an ability on top of becoming a copy is always a bit complex but this is mostly fine.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Can't argue that this feels like a blue rare.
(3/3) Balance - Sure - the black creatures only restriction makes flavor sense AND is a good limiter on the power.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Interesting spin on a typical clone.
(3/3) Flavor - I like the name, it rolls off the tongue well - and the idea that this particular shapeshifter turns into scary things only is a good personality quirk.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 23.5/25

Totals (Bold advance)

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slimytrout 23.5
bravelion83 21
netn10 20.5
haywire 19.5
marioguy3 16