July MCC, Round 3 - The Unpayable

[void_nothing]

Banner based on Mannichi, the Fevered Dream by Martina Pilcerova and Wizards of the Coast. Thanks to bravelion83 for the "Core Set Style" MCC Logo

July MCC, Round 3 - The Unpayable

Welcome to the July MCC! It's Paradoxes Month here at the MCC.

Main Challenge: Design a nonland card with no mana cost.
Subchallenge 1: Your card is not an instant or sorcery.
Subchallenge 2: Your card does not have any non-evergreen mechanics.

DEADLINES

Design deadline: Tuesday, August 3rd 23:59 EDT

Judging deadline: Friday, August 6th 23:59 EDT

Clarifications

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None yet.

MCC Rubric

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Design
(X/3) Appeal - Do the different player psychographics (Timmy/Johhny/Spike) have a use for the card?
(X/3) Elegance - Is the card easily understandable at a glance? Do all the flavor and mechanics combined as a whole make sense?

Development
(X/3) Viability - How well does the card fit into the color wheel? Does it break or bend the rules of the game? Is it the appropriate rarity?
(X/3) Balance - Does the card have a power level appropriate for contemporary constructed/limited environments without breaking them? Does it play well in casual and multiplayer formats? Does it create or fit into a deck/archetype? Does it create an oppressive environment?

Creativity
(X/3) Uniqueness - Has a card like this ever been printed before? Does it use new mechanics, ideas, or design space? Does it combine old ideas in a new way? Overall, does it feel "fresh"?
(X/3) Flavor - Does the name seem realistic for a card? Does the flavor text sound professional? Do all the flavor elements synch together to please Vorthos players?

Polish
(X/3) Quality - Points deducted for incorrect spelling, grammar, and templating.
(X/2) Main Challenge (*) - Was the main challenge satisfied? Was it approached in a unique or interesting way? Does the card fit the intent of the challenge?
(X/2) Subchallenges - One point awarded per satisfied subchallenge condition.

Total: X/25
*An entry with 0 points here is subject to disqualification.

Judges:
void_nothing
slimytrout

Players:
@bravelion83
@Freyleyes
@Lorn Asbord Schutta
@netn10
@RaikouRider

[netn10]

Paradoxical Puzzle
Artifact (Mythic)
: Draw a card.
"Half lifetime to find,
another half lifetime to open,
and two lifetimes of happiness.
Am I worth it?"
- Puzzlebox's Inscription.

[bravelion83]

Etherium Jailer
Artifact Creature — Human Wizard (R)
As long as you own one or more cards in exile, you may pay WUB to cast this spell.
Etherium Jailer's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards you own in exile.
At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one —
• Exile a card from your hand.
• Exile a card from your graveyard.
• Exile the top card of your library.
*/*

[Freyleyes]

Regalia of the Wrathful Angel
Legendary Artifact — Equipment {M}
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has flying, first strike, vigilance, trample and haste.
Whenever a legendary creature enters the battlefield, if you cast it from your hand, put Regalia of the Wrathful Angel onto the battlefield attached to that creature.
2: Return Regalia of the Wrathful Angel to its owner's hand.
"Don't you hear the battle calling? Hm, look at you, that glint in your eyes. You are worthy."

[Lorn Asbord Schutta]

Figment of Memory
(/) Creature — Nightmare (R)
Figment of Memory's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand.
Whenever a number of cards equal or greater to Figment of Memory's power is put into any graveyard, if Figment of Memory is in exile, you may put it onto the battlefield under your control.
"Thing about buried memories - they come back easiest at the brink of sanity, but are sharpest at full mind's presence."
—Jace Beleren
*/*

[void_nothing]

Checking in with @RaikouRider - Everyone can have a 24-hour extension.

[RaikouRider]

Eruptive Geomancer
Creature - Human Shaman {R}
As long as two or more lands have entered the battlefield under your control this turn, you may pay 1R to cast this spell.
When Eruptive Geomancer enters the battlefield, it deals damage equal to the number of lands you control to target creature or planeswalker. If three or more lands have entered the battlefield under your control this turn, it also deals that much damage to that permanent's controller.
3/3

[void_nothing]

And that will do it for the round. Both of us will judge the following randomly sorted brackets and only the highest scorer per bracket will advance.

netn10 vs. Freyleyes
bravelion83 vs. Lorn Asbord Schutta vs. RaikouRider

[slimytrout]

netn10

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Paradoxical Puzzle
Artifact (Mythic)
: Draw a card.
"Half lifetime to find,
another half lifetime to open,
and two lifetimes of happiness.
Am I worth it?"
- Puzzlebox's Inscription.

Design
(1.5/3) Appeal – Absolutely a Johnny card. Spike sees a potential value engine, but doesn't know if it's worth the effort (just like the inscription asks). Timmy has no interest in something so confusing.
(3/3) Elegance – Simple, but asks a provocative question. Very elegant.

Development
(3/3) Viability – I don't know what color "uncastable" is, but it should be able to do pretty much whatever it wants. Rarity seems right.
(2/3) Balance – I mean, it's never going to be actually balanced. Either you can somehow get it out easily enough to make it busted, or it's (literally) unplayable. Once it's out, it's trivial to go infinite with Urza, Lord High Artificer or Ghirapur Aether Grid, but without playtesting I don't know if it's too strong or too weak.

Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness – Feels pretty unique.
(3/3) Flavor – Name is a little on the nose, but it definitely captures the feeling of the card.

Polish
(2/3) Quality – Flavor text has a couple problems – should be "half a lifetime" both times and then there shouldn't be a period in the attribution.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) – Yep.
(1/2) Subchallenges – Untap symbol definitely counts as a mechanic and is not evergreen.

Total: 20.5/25

Freyleyes

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Regalia of the Wrathful Angel
Legendary Artifact — Equipment {M}
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and has flying, first strike, vigilance, trample and haste.
Whenever a legendary creature enters the battlefield, if you cast it from your hand, put Regalia of the Wrathful Angel onto the battlefield attached to that creature.
2: Return Regalia of the Wrathful Angel to its owner's hand.
"Don't you hear the battle calling? Hm, look at you, that glint in your eyes. You are worthy."

Design
(2/3) Appeal – Timmy and Spike both love it because it packs so much onto a card that costs nothing. Johnny is mildly interested because it's a free haste-granter, which might enable a combo with some legendary creatures. I am taking off half a point because it specifically doesn't work with commanders, which would definitely lessen its usefulness for a lot of players.
(1.5/3) Elegance – Straightforward enough, if you assume the right missing text ("you may" and "from your hand"). There are a few minor problems though – new players could be confused by equipment without an equip cost, and enfranchised players will be annoyed by the missing protection abilities. Also pretty close to microtext when you include the flavor text.
Development
(2.5/3) Viability – I mean, if Akroma's Memorial gets to do its thing then I don't see why this card couldn't. I am going to take off a small deduction for an Equipment without an Equip ability, though – that's a pretty central part of the card type.
(1.5/3) Balance – Wowee, is that a powerful equipment for zero mana. Obviously the fact that it can't be actually equipped makes it weaker, but you can usually circumvent that by just returning it to hand. Not very good in limited, but in a 60-card deck with four or five legendary 3-ofs, you're just going to be able to absolutely slam with this so much of the time.

Creativity
(2.5/3) Uniqueness – Obviously a call-back to various incarnations of Akroma, Angel of Wrath, but the overall package is pretty new.
(1.5/3) Flavor – I don't love it. Why does Akroma care about legendary creatures now? And I assume that flavor text is supposed to be her, but it's uncredited and sounds nothing like the quotes on her other cards.

Polish
(1/3) Quality – Missing two very important phrases, both of which are functional. It needs to say the zone its coming from – presumably "your hand" – and it needs to have a "may" because that's not a public zone.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) – Yep.
(2/2) Subchallenges – Those are all evergreen mechanics.

Total: 16.5/25

bravelion83

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Etherium Jailer
Artifact Creature — Human Wizard (R)
As long as you own one or more cards in exile, you may pay WUB to cast this spell.
Etherium Jailer's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards you own in exile.
At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one —
• Exile a card from your hand.
• Exile a card from your graveyard.
• Exile the top card of your library.
*/*

Design
(1.5/3) Appeal – Spike doesn't having a setup cost on what is at best a large creature with no evasion or value. Timmy likes the large creature that keeps getting larger, but doesn't like the setup cost or the self-mill. Johnny is the most interested, since it's pretty weird.
(2/3) Elegance – Why doesn't this just cost WUB with a "Cast this spell only…" ability? The precedent is Asmor but that simply didn't have room for a casting cost. Otherwise straightforward enough, although most players will struggle to find the instance where they want to exile a card from their hand.

Development
(2.5/3) Viability – I don't really see what's blue about this, but the rest seems fine.
(2/3) Balance – Feels a bit underpowered. The setup cost isn't too difficult to achieve, but ultimately all you're getting for your troubles is a moderately-sized creature that keeps growing. Maybe you can combo this with Inverter of Truth but even then it has no evasion or protection from removal so it needs another combo piece to do anything. The one card per turn is a bit slow, and gives no value.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness – The p/t based on exile is new, but it's already been done for the graveyard in Apocalypse Demon, and for hand with, among others, Overbeing of Myth, which also feeds itself. Plenty of examples of cards with casting restrictions.
(2/3) Flavor – I don't quite get why this is a jailer, or what is particularly Esper about it, other than being an artifact creature. It's an interesting combination, but it leaves you with more questions than answers.

Polish
(2/3) Quality – I'm going to put this here although I suppose it could go somewhere else, but this should really have a color indicator (or, in this case, color-setting text), which is a functional mistake.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) – Yep.
(2/2) Subchallenges – Yep yep.

Total: 18/25

Lorn Asbord Schutta

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Figment of Memory
(/) Creature — Nightmare (R)
Figment of Memory's power and toughness are each equal to the number of cards in your hand.
Whenever a number of cards equal or greater to Figment of Memory's power is put into any graveyard, if Figment of Memory is in exile, you may put it onto the battlefield under your control.
"Thing about buried memories - they come back easiest at the brink of sanity, but are sharpest at full mind's presence."
—Jace Beleren
*/*

Design
(1.5/3) Appeal – Johnny loves the challenge of this card. Spike likes the complicated math of trying to get the numbers right but hates the very high setup cost for what ends up being just a small-to-medium-sized creature without any evasion. Timmy isn't interested at all.
(1.5/3) Elegance – Lotta numbers, and plenty of ways for confusion to result if the timing is strange (instant speed draw spell for interest). Would not be good if this was a commonly played card in standard.
Development
(3/3) Viability – I mean, sure, I guess. We've seen virtually all colors have the Maro effect, and rare is definitely correct.
(1.5/3) Balance – Quite weak. First you have to get it into exile, then you have to nearly empty your hand (which, for the blue-black controlling deck that this otherwise wants to go in, is a bit of an issue), then you have to get several cards in the yard at once, which is a lot of steps, and the payoff is very mediocre.

Creativity
(3/3) Uniqueness – I mean, we've never really seen anything like that trigger before, so full points.
(2/3) Flavor – Flavor text is doing a lot of work here, which ends up making it pretty stilted, but it does get the point across.

Polish
(2.5/3) Quality – Doesn't need to specify "your control."
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) – Yep.
(2/2) Subchallenges – Yep yep.

Total: 19/25

RaikouRider

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Eruptive Geomancer
Creature - Human Shaman {R}
As long as two or more lands have entered the battlefield under your control this turn, you may pay 1R to cast this spell.
When Eruptive Geomancer enters the battlefield, it deals damage equal to the number of lands you control to target creature or planeswalker. If three or more lands have entered the battlefield under your control this turn, it also deals that much damage to that permanent's controller.
3/3

Design
(3/3) Appeal – An all-rounder! Johnny wants to get this up to 20 to one-shot their opponent. Timmy and Spike just love a Kalonian Tusker that comes with a Ground Assault and occasionally also a Lava Axe.
(0.5/3) Elegance – Why doesn't this just cost 1R with "Cast this only…"? The precedent is Asmor but that simply didn't have room for a casting cost. It's also very nearly microtext, which actually led to me initially thinking that the damage was the number of lands that ETB'ed, not the number you control. Also, should really be "up to one," so you're not forced to kill this and/or smack yourself in the head if your opponent manages to sacrifice their only creature.
Development
(3/3) Viability – Definitely red, and definitely rare.
(2/3) Balance – Very strong if you can cast it – if we follow Flametongue Yearling, a 3/3 that also shocks a creature should cost 4-ish mana, not 2, and this is almost always going to be better than that once it ETB's. It does require some setup cost, but it's the sort of thing that a lot of decks want to be doing.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness – Some existing parallels, but pretty fresh overall.
(3/3) Flavor – Yeah, not enough room for flavor text but this definitely feels like a geomancer.

Polish
(2/3) Quality – Should have a color indicator a la Asmor, which is a functional mistake.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) – Yep.
(2/2) Subchallenges – Yep yep.

Total: 19.5/25

Results

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netn10: 20.5
Freyleyes: 16.5

RaikouRider: 19.5
Lorn Asbord Schutta: 19
bravelion83: 18

[void_nothing]

netn10

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Txmmy would like to draw EVERY CARD but likes their fun more directly. This card was specifically made to pander to Jxnny. Spike cautiously considers it - depending on the environment this is either part of the game-winning combo of a totally viable deck or jank with no support for it.
(3/3) Elegance - What is there to say? This is a very simple yet very vexing puzzle.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Totally worthy of being a mythic.
(2/3) Balance - Not too powerful per se - any combo involving this card would have to include at least three cards, if not four - but there's something not quite right balance-wise about printing a card whose sole purpose is to be cheated out for an infinite combo.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Obviously a very simple design on the face of it but it has a totally unique usage.
(3/3) Flavor - Perfect. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looking good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - And done.
(1/2) Subchallenges - Q is not evergreen.

Total: 21/25

bravelion83

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Txmmy likes the size this can readily get to. It's kind of straightforward for Jxnny but exile-matters is an unusual enough effect that they would try a Mana Severance combo. Spike sees Lord of Extinction but cheaper... yet less reliable, so it's probably often a lesser option.
(1.5/3) Elegance - This is a wordy card with a lot to keep track of and I have to dock you extra here because imho the Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar type of casting condition is an end-run around the challenge. The only reason Asmor herself doesn't cost {B/R} and have "Cast this spell only if..." is because there's no room for any mana symbols there. Another thing is that I can't think of almost any examples of times when you'd choose to exile the card from your hand. The only good reason not to pick one of the other modes is if you have no cards in your graveyard and only one card in your library somehow.

Development
(2/3) Viability - While the colors and rarity are unproblematic this is an unwelcome step towards exile feeling like a second graveyard.
(2.5/3) Balance - Well this card does unfortunate things with delve, eh? Again, counting cards in one's own exile as a variable is a developmental concern for reasons not directly related to balance. Kaya, Orzhov Usurper, for example, only counts opponents' exiled cards similarly to the Eldrazi Processors.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Counting your exiled cards is relatively unknown and this grows in an interesting way but ultimately is effectively a vanilla beater in combat.
(1.5/3) Flavor - Not sure I get the connection between Esper/etherium and exile. Other than alliteration.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks okay.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 18.5/25

Lorn Asbord Schutta

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Txmmy has seen much more appealing variable P/T creatures. Jxnny and Spike both have plenty of reasons to use this card though.
(2/3) Elegance - "Judge! What happens if I have this card in exile with no cards in hand?"

Development
(3/3) Viability - Colors and rarity look right.
(2.5/3) Balance - Returning a creature from exile repeatedly seems like cause for concern - Food Chain being only the most visible reason why - but it comes with a seemingly pretty difficult condition.

Creativity
(1.5/3) Uniqueness - There are a million and one Maros out there but the triggered ability is quite unique.
(3/3) Flavor - Nice, I like this a lot.

Polish
(1.5/3) Quality - A couple of grammar errors in the flavor text and there's a redundant "under your control" in the triggered ability.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Good.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 19.5/25

Freyleyes

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Design
(2/3) Appeal - Txmmy likes dominating combat. It's rather blunt for Jxnny but Spike likes free advantages like this.
(2.5/3) Elegance - Generally a bit wordy.

Development
(2/3) Viability - Rarity makes sense but this card doesn't work as worded - triggered abilities can't trigger from hidden zones.
(2/3) Balance - Potentially allows you to take over the game with one legendary creature for no extra mana. Of course, one creature taking over the game is much less likely in EDH than in other formats, and that is obviously the format with the most prevalent legends, but it's still a matter for concern.

Creativity
(1/3) Uniqueness - There have been "Equipped creature gains many keywords" Equipments before, and this card does something similar to Blackblade Reforged's equip legendary creature.
(2/3) Flavor - A couple of minor points against this card - one, it doesn't grant the keywords that ANY Akroma card has, which slightly annoys me, and two, the flavor text seems to imply that it's Akroma herself outfitting a different legend with this Equipment, which doesn't make a lot of sense.

Polish
(2.5/3) Quality - As mentioned above this card needs a rewording a la Qasali Ambusher.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 18/25

RaikouRider

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Design
(3/3) Appeal - Hey, aren't Txmmy, Jxnny, and Spike all fans of Scapeshift and Primeval Titan degeneracy?
(1.5/3) Elegance - Slightly wordy and tracking-heavy, and I also have to dock a little bit for using a type of design that feels like trying to get around the challenge.

Development
(3/3) Viability - Color and rarity look right.
(1/3) Balance - Unfortunately both a swingy and win-more card: If you're able to ramp three lands this will accelerate the beating you're 100% already doing on your opponents and this has the potential to be a completely dead card as well.

Creativity
(2/3) Uniqueness - Similar effects have been done - Ground Assault - but this is a unique approach in several ways.
(3/3) Flavor - Name's very fitting, not much room for flavor text.

Polish
(3/3) Quality - Looks good.
(2/2) Main Challenge (*) - Done.
(2/2) Subchallenges - And done.

Total: 20.5/25

[void_nothing]

And our finalists are netn10 and RaikouRider - round to come!