New Challenge Every Day - April 15th: Things that are very long

[void_nothing]

Today's Challenge:
Things that are very long

.::To Enter::.
In a single post:

• Name exactly two other players to vote for their entries for the previous challenge. (In the event that there are two or fewer entries that you are allowed to vote for, you may vote for only one.)

• Make a card that fits the current challenge.

• Include an "If I Win" (IIW) for tomorrow's challenge if you win.

Each day we use the challenge of the previous day's winner. In the case of a tie, we'll use the IIW of the tied player who has least overall points. In case of a further tie, the IIW of the earlier poster will be used.

.::Scoring::.

dyd 35 (+3)
JovialJovian 33 (+2)
bravelion83 29 (+0)
Venedrex 29 (+2)
netn10 28 (+2)
void_nothing 22 (+3)
haywire 16
ahyangyi 14 (+1)
dangerousdice 5 (+3)
wizyard 3
Riria 3
duducrash 1

.::Note of the Day::.

No IIW from dangerousdice so seeing as I'm tied for first place and had the next-lowest total score, it falls to mine.

.::Yesterday's Submissions::.
"You can't win"

Votes: JovialJovian, dangerousdice (too flavorful to pass, even though I find your lack of capital letters disturbing )

Herald of Unending Torment
Creature - Demon
Flying
When Herald of Unending Torment enters the battlefield, each player creates a 1/1 colorless Scarecrow artifact creature token with indestructible, "You can't win the game" and "Your opponents can't lose the game".
5/5

IIW: penultimatum (make up a meaning for it)

Votes: dyd, JovialJovian (I don't understand how it works but I like it)

Consult the Arhchaics 2
Sorcery (Mythic)
Draw three cards.
As long as Consult the Arhchaics is in your graveyard or in your exile, you can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.
Such wonderful knowledge will make anyone distant themselves from meaningless wars.

IIW: Modern playable vehicle.

Votes: netn10, void_nothing

Holkar, Ambitious Demon 3B
Legendary Creature — Demon (M)
Flying, trample
You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.
5W, Pay 10 life: Transform Holkar, Ambitious Demon.
"Ambition is to want what you don't have, being willing to pay any price for it."
5/5

//

Lucilla, Purified Angel
(W) Legendary Creature — Angel (M)
Flying, trample
You can't lose the game and your opponents can't win the game.
"Peace is not to want anything that you don't have, being willing to accept any sacrifice with serenity."
5/5

IIW: party

Votes: Venedrix, void_nothing

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Demon of Dire Straits {W}{B}

Creature - Demon Cleric (R)

Flash, Flying

When Demon of Dire Straits enters the battlefield, you can't lose the game this turn and your opponents can't win the game this turn. Until end of turn, damage that would reduce your life total to less than 1 reduces it to 1 instead.

You can't win the game, and your opponents can't lose the game.

Salvation begets stagnation.

5/5

IIW: Oko's Wacky and Not At All Villainous Hi jinks through the Multiverse!

votes: netn10, ahyangyi
@netn10

SPOILER

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You can cast it as a 2/3, or of you send it on the adventure first, you can get the much more powerful Hero side. Then, if you get a 2nd one and do the adventure, you can win the game.

Gambler's Bane RR
Creature - Devil Gremlin (R)
You can't win coin flips.
Whenever you flip a coin, choose a player at random. Gambler's Bane deals 1 damage to that player or to a permanent they control.
T: Flip a coin.
2/3

IIW: Peanuts

Votes: dangerousdice, dyd
I didn't include an IIW yesterday, so let me fix it (well, it doesn't look like I'll win, but still): Multicolor lessons

The Leechking
Legendary Creature - Leech Noble (R)
Indestructible, lifelink.
You can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game.
, pay 20 life: target player gains control of the Leechking
8/5

IIW: Boars (anthropomorphic or not)

dangerousdice void_nothing

Votes: dyd, Venedrex

Savage Prophecy 4RR
Instant (R)
Cast this spell only during your end step.
Until the beginning of your next turn, you can't win the game and your opponents can't lose the game. Savage Prophecy deals 4 damage to each opponent. Return any number of Mountain cards from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped. Search your library for up to two sorcery cards with different names, reveal them, put them into your hand, then shuffle.
Exile Savage Prophecy.

IIW: Overcosted commons

[ahyangyi]

Votes: netn10, void_nothing

Layline of Radiance
Enchantment (R)
If Leyline of the Radiance is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Instant and sorcery spells you control have lifelink.

IIW: Compleat a non-Mirrodin plane

[dyd]

Votes: JovialJovian, ahyangyi

Explore the Luxa u(g/u)g
Enchantment - Saga
I, II, III - Create a Treasure token.
IV, V - Draw a card.
VI - Create Sources of the Luxa, a legendary blue and green enchantment token with hexproof and "At the beginning of each upkeep, you may draw a card and you may put a basic land from your graveyard onto the battlefield."

IIW: meat and fish

[FoilSquared]

Votes: JovialJovian, netn10

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Yolid, the World's Spine {5}{G}{G}{G}{G}{G}

Legendary Creature - Snake Noble (M)

Trample

This spell costs {X} less to cast, where X is the number of creatures your opponents control.

Creature spells you control cost {X} less to cast, where X is the number of creatures your opponents control.

10/10

IIW: Oko's Wacky and Not At All Villainous Hi jinks through the Multiverse!

[bravelion83]

Votes: ahyangyi, netn10

netn10

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"in your exile" is wrong, exile is a single shared zone and you only own cards there, you don't control them, so it should just be "in exile".

Mage-Ring Network 4GU
Enchantment (R)
When Mage-Ring Network enters the battlefield, search your library for an instant or sorcery card, reveal it, put it into your hand, then shuffle.
Whenever you tap a Forest for mana, add an additional U.
Whenever you tap an Island for mana, add an additional G.

IIW: party

[JovialJovian]

votes: FoilSquard, ahyangyi

Lecture on the Nature of Time 1UUU
Enchantment - Saga (M)
I, II, III: Scry X, where X is the number of lore counters on Lecture on the Nature of Time, then draw a card.
IV: Skip your next turn after this one.
V: Take three extra turns after this one.

IIW: Kicker Matters

[netn10]

Votes: bravelion83, ahyangyi

Endless Wurm 5GGGG
Creature - Wurm (Mythic)
Indestructible
Legends says it is time manifested, made by a forgotten time-god in order to amuse themselves.
∞/∞

IIW: Three colored layline.

[Venedrex]

Votes: ahyangyi, void_nothing

Ever Expanding Wall
Legendary Creature — Wall (M)
Defender
At the beginning of each upkeep, create a 0/3 colorless Wall creature token with defender, then you lose 1 life.
Whenever a creature an opponent controls attacks you or a planeswalker you control, scry 2, then create a Treasure token.
As long as you control six or more Walls, other nontoken creatures you control have hexproof.
Sacrifice a Treasure: You gain 2 life.
0/10

IIW: Famous figures from MTG lore.

[kwanyeegor-ii]

dyd ahyangyi

[void_nothing]

Votes: FoilSquared, JovialJovian

Celestial Ladder 2
Artifact (U)
XX, T: X target creatures each get +X/+X and gain reach and lifelink until end of turn. Activate this ability only during an opponent's turn.
What the Yotians thought was a Thran religious relic, Urza knew to be a siege device.

IIW: Celtic myths