New Challenge Every Day - December 18th: Make a card you would never vote for

[void_nothing]

Today's Challenge:
Make a card you would never vote for

.::To Enter::.
In a single post:

• Name exactly two other players to vote for their entries for the previous challenge. (In the event that there are two or fewer entries that you are allowed to vote for, you may vote for only one.)

• Make a card that fits the current challenge.

• Include an "If I Win" (IIW) for tomorrow's challenge if you win.

Each day we use the challenge of the previous day's winner. In the case of a tie, we'll use the IIW of the tied player who has least overall points. In case of a further tie, the IIW of the earlier poster will be used.

.::Scoring::.

JovialJovian 35 (+1)
slimytrout 32 (+2)
netn10 30 (+4)
void_nothing 30 (+1)
Riria 29 (+1)
dyd 28 (+2)
Raptorchan 24
caulkwrangler 22 (+4)
Pygyzy 18 (+1)
OneAndOnly 16
FoilSquared 3
MonoRedMage 3

.::Note of the Day::.

.::Yesterday's Submissions::.
Fortifications

Votes: slimytrout, caulkwrangler

Watchtower Beacon
Artifact - Fortification
Whenever a creature enters the battlefield for the first time each turn, untap fortified land, then you may pay 1w. If you do, untap target creature.
Fortify 2
A beacon of hope and solidarity.

IIW: venomous creatures

Riria, netn10

Shipyard U
Artifact - Fortification
Fortified land has, "T; Vehicles you control gain hexproof until end of turn.
Fortify Island U

IIW: Stephen King's, The Stand

Votes: dyd, Pygyzy

Blood Fountain 2
Artifact - Fortification
Morbid - If fortified land would add B, it adds two mana in any combination of colors instead as long as a creature died this turn.
Fortify 1
There's more to a cadaver than the simple fact that it died.

IIW: Green angels

void_nothing, caulkwrangler

Shifting Terrain 2
Artifact - Fortification (R)
Fortified land has all land types.
2: Fortified land becomes a 2/2 creature with all creature types until end of turn. It's still a land.
Fortify 2

IIW: Cards with the same name as sets

votes: caulkwrangler, netn10

Planar Aperture 7
Artifact - Fortification
Fortified land has "T: Search your library for a permanent card and put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library."
Fortified land has "T: Exile target permanent."
When fortified land is exiled, exile all nonland permanents.
Fortify 7

IIW: A plane whose worldsoul is dead.

Votes: slimytrout, caulkwrangler

Mobile Shelter 1
Artifact - Fortification (Uncommon)
Fortified land gains "2, T: Exile a creature card from your hand face-down hiding in this land."
Whenever a creature attacks you, that creature's controller chooses a land you control. Put onto the battlefield each creature hidden in it.
Fortify 1

IIW: Kaldheim Vehicle.

Votes: dyd, netn10

Coalhammer, Rebuilt Keep 3
Legendary Land - Fortification (R)
Whenever you tap fortified land for mana, create a 0/3 colorless Wall artifact creature token named Palisade for each mana you added. Those tokens have defender and "This creature gets +0/+1 for each other token named Palisade you control."
Fortified land has "4, T: Until end of turn, tokens named Palisade you control gain trample and vigilance, can attack as though they didn't have defender, and assign combat damage equal to their toughness rather than their power."
Fortify 3

IIW: Deprecated mechanics

jovialjovian netn10

[Pygyzy]

Riria, Netn10

Cat Soldier WG
Creature - Cat Soldier (U)
Other Cats and Soldiers you control get +1/+1.
Whenever another Cat or Soldier enters the battlefield, you gain 1 life.
2/2

IIW: Pet Cards

[JovialJovian]

votes: dyd, Riria

Hare Brained Scheme
Ongoing Scheme
When you set this scheme in motion, exile all the cards in your hand and all nonland permanents you control face down. Reorder those cards at random, and put them onto the battlefield face down. They are 1/1 white Rabbit creatures with "When this creature leaves the battlefield, exile it. When you do, you may cast it without paying its mana cost. When you do, copy it you may choose new targets for the copy."
When you control no Rabbits, destroy all nonland permanents and abandon this scheme.

IIW: Really big shoes

[netn10]

Votes: Pygyzy, slimytrout

Simic Vigilante WB
Creature - Human Bat (Rare)
Flying
Creatures can't fight and can't have counters on them.
"This city changed me. My duty is to not let it change you."
2/2

IIW: Runes

[dyd]

Votes: slimytrout, JovialJovian

Xenophobic Populist 2br
Creature - Jackal
Xenophobic Populist can't block.
Other creatures you control that share a color or creature type with Xenophobic Populist are also Cowards and have "3, t: This creature fights target creature that doesn't share a color or creature type with this creature."
0/2

IIW: text change

[slimytrout]

dyd, Riria

what a cruel challenge!

Icewind Elementalist URS
Creature - Human Shaman (U)
1U: Target creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
2R: Target creature attacks this turn if able.
3S: Target snow land becomes a 3/3 Elemental creature with haste until end of turn. It's still a land.
2/2

[OneAndOnly]

Votes: Riria, void_nothing
.
None and Lonely -- 3
Sorcery
Destroy target creature owned by a player named OneAndOnly. OneAndOnly loses three life and skips their next turn.
.

Next: December 20, 2020

[void_nothing]

Votes: slimytrout, JovialJovian

Mental Takeover XUU
Instant (R)
Choose one -
• Exile target spell with converted mana cost X or less.
• You gain control of target nonland permanent with converted mana cost X or less until end of turn.

IIW: Experience counters