MTGNexus

Though the website is the ugliest this side of 1999, ToothyCat must never be forgotten. It's a Magic card generator that's sure to generate some laughs as well. Check it out! Just click refresh for a new card every time. And if you get a good one, you can even share it here.

Okay, this thing got a chuckle out of me. I mean, look at this! Lol



Creature - Goblin Warrior (1/2, red)
Sacrifice a tapped Mountain, Pay 4 life: target artifact gains ''If ~this~ would deal combat damage to a creature, that damage is dealt to target creature or player instead'' until end of turn
As long as you control no red enchantments, ~this~ attacks each turn if able
Sacrifice a Elemental: any number of target untapped artifacts gain ''All artifacts gain protection from white'' until end of turn
Whenever one or more creatures blocks one or more creatures, put a speed counter on target creature
Whenever a permanent becomes the target of a instant or sorcery spell, put a speed counter on target permanent
Each creature with a speed counter on it can't block
T: put a improbability counter on target enchantment
Each land with a improbability counter on it gains ''Sacrifice ~this~: target enchantment gains protection from white until end of turn''

Converted mana cost: 1

nice site. Even the sitename is funny.

This made me laugh.

Creature - Human Rogue (2/1, black)
All Rogues gain deathtouch
T: all Zombies gain protection from instant or sorcery spells until end of turn and ~this~ deals 3 damage to those creatures
Whenever an opponent discards a card, put a +1/+1 counter on ~this~
T, remove any number of +1/+1 counters from ~this~: target Cleric gets -1/-1 until end of turnspace_foreachone
--The fiercest believe envies just one father
– Unknown

Converted mana cost: 1

Gives protection to the zombies, but then the rogue deals 3 damage to each of them.

Legendary Creature - Merfolk Rogue (3/2, blue)
~this~ is unblockable
Whenever ~this~ enters the battlefield, up to six target noncolourless enchantments are red until end of turn
All red creatures are artifacts in addition to their other types
3, Tap an untapped permanent you control: You and target opponent each untap and gain control of target green creature the other controls until end of turn. They gain haste until end of turn.. When those creatures regenerates this turn, flip ~this~.
- - - - -
Legendary Creature - Merfolk Rogue (2/1, blue)
Discard a card, Sacrifice a untapped creature with flying: untap up to two target permanents and those permanents are the colour of your choice until end of turn
Sacrifice a nonblack creature, Pay 3 life: ~this~ can't be blocked until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 4

It sure is a good thing this excluded all those colourless enchantments...

At least it's super implausible this would ever flip,

Artifact Creature - Myr (1/2, artifact)
Sacrifice ~this~: you lose 5 life
--Her temper can crush even the bucket
– Ravi of Thunderhead

Converted mana cost: 1

Get your Death's Shadows ready?

Creature - Treefolk Druid (3/2, green)
Whenever ~this~ deals combat damage to a creature, tap that creature and it doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
At the beginning of each player's upkeep, put a speed counter on target creature
When ~this~ leaves the battlefield, put a speed counter on target enchantment
Each land with a speed counter on it is white
Each land with a speed counter on it gains ''3RRRW, Sacrifice a Druid: target artifact is a enchantment in addition to its other types until end of turn''
--A single brain flees the hugest achieve and transcends the most stalwart meal
For nature explodes more destructively than even the beautiful toothpaste
– Tevesh IV

Converted mana cost: 4

I see.

This neural network is drunk on color change effects,

I need a toothycat fix...

Goblin Treehugger
3R
Creature - Goblin Rogue
3/2
All lands have protection from instant spells.
"Even the warcry may rally." - Jak of the Woods

Creature - Bird (1/2, blue)
Flying
All Birds get -2/-0
~this~ can't be the target of Generated spells
Whenever an opponent draws a card, change the text of target tapped nonbasic land by replacing all instances of one creature type with another. (This effect doesn't end at end of turn.)
--His lamp flees just one sink but challenges more daintily than even the pen
Though a single choir may catch even the grandmother
– Andrewducker, the elder kitten

Converted mana cost: 4

Andrewducker best character.

Artifact
When ~this~ enters the battlefield, two target blue creatures get +2/+3 until end of turn
Sacrifice a black creature, Sacrifice a white creature: two target nonred creatures are enchantments in addition to their other types until end of turn

Converted mana cost: 6

Clearly overpowered, this effect shouldn't go for less than nine mana.

Instant (blue and white)
tap target permanent
Storm
--His deer pauses the best seedling and communicates better than the snail never
– Ralirif Oleafrone, Baron of the Ancient Desert

Converted mana cost: 4

!!! This is incredibly close to a Real Card.

Instant (green)
search your library for a land card and put it into the battlefield, then shuffle your library

Converted mana cost: 4

A rare perfect hit.

Enchantment (black)
Sacrifice ~this~: draw a card for each card in your hand
Sacrifice a Minion: destroy two target nonblack creatures
All Clerics get -4/-4
Transmute 1, Pay 1 life
--Even the cherries sprints
– Alith Sagetongue

Converted mana cost: 1

Kind of fascinating. Just the first ability by itself makes the card obscene. Even without it though, the transmute makes it pretty playable I think.
Side note - I wonder how many lines of different trinket text it takes to make a card playable?

chochky wrote: ↑

4 years ago

Side note - I wonder how many lines of different trinket text it takes to make a card playable?

That's an interesting and complicated question. If we think of the greatest and strongest trinket text-bearing card of all time, Baneslayer Angel, obviously the protection didn't have a lot to do with how playable the card was. But I do believe you could start from an underpowered base and add trinket text to make a card a sideboard option.

amazing coincidence. The first click on the site I see a cat card and I'm a cat lover. :3

Gilbert Einstein (Mythic)
G
Creature - Human Shaman
2/2
You may cast spells without paying their mana costs.
All tapped unblocked Spirits gain "2, T, Sacrifice this permanent: Add W for each black spell cast this turn."
Eureka!

Temple Serpent (Rare)
1G
Creature - Snake Shaman
1/1
Whenever an artifact spell is countered, draw a card.
Permanents can't be the target of activated abilities.

Flood Envoy U
Creature - Merfolk Scout (U)
All legendary lands are creatures with power and toughness equal to their converted mana cost in addition to their other types.
1/2

First card I got out of that website. 1 mana aoe land destruction, with a body. I'm just impressed.

I like to name them.

Elder Brand Uncommon
4WWW
Instant
Attach target Aura to target tapped creature with vigilance. (Control of that Aura doesn't change.)

Soul Summons (Rare)
{G/W}{G/W}
Instant
Return target Aura card from your graveyard to the battlefield.
Create three 1/1 white Spirit creature tokens with first strike.

Land
T: add 2 to your mana pool
Pay 3 life, Sacrifice a multicoloured permanent, T: add 3 to your mana pool

Cool. Horrendously broken, but cool.

WUBRG
Creature - Bird Rogue (2/2)
Flying
U: attach target Equipment to target Bird. (Control of that Equipment doesn't change.)

If this had a little more to it, I think it'd be fab.

I like to name them.

Hugest Whisper (Common)
4W
Tribal Instant - Spirit
Untap target land
The proper doctor pauses even the whispered family but boasts more than the best clam.
Yet his circle delights more daintily than even the hugest bath. – Traditional (ascended)

W
Creature - Kithkin Soldier (1/1)
Sacrifice ~this~: Tap target legendary library.

Boy, what a niche ability.

3UU
Instant
Draw three cards.

I - sure.

WUB
Sorcery
untap target nonbasic land and untap that permanent and gain control of it (This effect doesn't end).
--Nature walls off even the wisest apparel and meddles more swiftly than the most stalwart owl
– Traditional (not the Urza's Saga one)

This appears to be going somewhere, but it repeats itself and... lol that flavor text attribution

GGG
Creature - Snake Shaman (3/2)
trample
shroud

This is the best rare in Nemesis

U
Instant
draw four cards

Imagine if Garfield had thought "Ancestral Recall isn't quite good enough"

G
Sorcery
you may search your library for a creature card, reveal it, and put it onto the battlefield under your control. If you do, you shuffle that library afterwards.

Maybe SLIGHTLY undercosted...

4W
Instant
Affinity for Clerics
Return target enchantment card from your graveyard to the battlefield

Okay, so this is a perfect, original design. WTF?