Re: NEXUS FLAMINGO ☆ Exclusively For Custom Card Connoisseurs and Galaxy Brains
Posted: Mon Jun 21, 2021 3:37 am
... judging tomorrow.
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Ah, yeah, the classic move of "blaming everything but the real problem." Deflect, make excuses, avoid taking responsibility, and get a contract signed for next season keep selling packs of the most recent set until the next banned and restricted list update.Pygyzy wrote: ↑3 years agoJace Did Nothing Wrong
Sorcery (M)
Each opponent reveals their library. You may have those players exile any number of cards in their library named Stoneforge Mystic*, Batterskull, Squadron Hawk, Ponder, Sphinx's Revelation, Celestial Colonnade, Sword of _____ and _____, or Gideon Jura. They're banned. Issue a half-assed statement why you didn't ban Jace, The Mind Sculptor. Then ban Jace, The Mind Sculptor. Those players shuffle.
(*Unless it's in an unmodified "War of Attrition" Event deck.)
"Well, you see, we just didn't think... enough about money."
-Wizards, probably
Iiw: Legendary Blind Luck
No meme entries allowed. I think this would allow me to fight your 5/5 with my 1/1 and have the 5/5 deal 5 damage to one of your other creatures. Then my 1/1 dies, of course, but that whole interaction feels maybe unintended. Of course, supposing I have a 6/6, it's a pretty solid 2-for-1.NinjaCaterpie wrote: ↑3 years agoReally Epic Choke Slam
Sorcery (M)
Target creature you control fights another target creature, then deals damage equal to the other creature's toughness to a third target creature.
"I'm gonna beat this monkey-fighter with another monkey-fighter!"
IIW: silly aftermath/split card names
This initially made me think of Lost in Thought, but eventually I realized that this is Oppressive Rays with additional utility. Good flavor though.Krishnath wrote: ↑3 years agoUnder Pressure
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant creature or planeswalker.
Enchanted creature can't attack or block unless its controller pays
Enchanted creature or planeswalker can't use their activated abilities unless their controller pays an additional .
IIW: Disney Animated Canon (that means no Pixar).
Good + coherent aftermath effect that stretches the formula a bit. it's maybe a little inflexible (in that you really want the available when you cast this, and this likely loses a lot of utility if you don't), but there's nothing wrong with the effects.Cythare wrote: ↑3 years agoSet Up
Sorcery (R)
Up to three target creatures must attack during their controller's next turn if able.
//
Fail
Instant (R)
Aftermath (Cast this spell only from your graveyard. Then exile it.)
Each attacking creature deals damage to itself equal to its power.
IIW: Late in Eldraine development, Murderous Rider's multiverse file was completely corrupted. No one can remember exactly what it does, but they're fairly confident that it's an adventure but doesn't destroy creatures. Everyone's scrambling to submit a replacement. What is it?
100% of the time you cast this it is going to be a blowout. However, it's so expensive that you're practically playing with it face up on the table. The opponent should be able to mitigate it fairly easily. To that point, it almost feels overcosted. it might not be possible to bring this to a safe space with this exact text, so I wonder if there's a way to adjust it?Phyrexian Editor wrote: ↑3 years agoBloodblind
Instant {U}
Target attacking creature an opponent controls deals damage equal to its power divided as you choose among any number of target creatures.
"My hand slipped." -An Akron legionnaire's last words at the gallows
IIW: My cat knows just one trick, but it's a useful one
Hydrosurge sends its regards.mellifluoresce wrote: ↑3 years agoPerformance Anxiety
Instant (C)
Target creature gets -X/-0 until end of turn, where X is the number of creatures on the battlefield.
IIW: juggalos
aight we entered the troll entries early. my brain moves faster than my fingers so sadly I have already spent a cycle thinking about Hive Mind and all of that. But I'm moving on now.Sporegorger_Dragon wrote: ↑3 years agoEpic Fail
Sorcery (M)
You lose the game.
The Multiverse sundered. Planes ravaged. Civilizations extinguished. Innumerable lives lost. Jace had to admit, this was gonna be hard to pass off as a success.
IIW: Ice Cream
That's my coach!
Yeah see now this is funny. I chuckled while I was reading through the entries earlier and saw this. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. This card is actually fairly enticing as you can try to revive The OG Himself to kill it while it's on II. Would be fun to play around with.spacemonaut wrote: ↑3 years agoAscension of the Dragon-God
Enchantment — Saga (M)
I, II — Put up to one planeswalker card from your hand or graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. Proliferate.
III — Sacrifice each nonland permanent you control.
IIW: Blaseball and other surreal splorts
Hey, if you're doing it right it should only need to attack two or three times anyway, right? I, as you know, enjoy this kind of space for aggro designs, so I am into this one.NinjaCaterpie wrote: ↑3 years agoTin Street Punter
Creature - Goblin Rogue (R)
Haste
Tin Street Punter doesn't untap during your untap step as long as an opponent has 10 or less life.
He punts hard... until he punts hard.
2/2
IIW: silly aftermath/split card names
Given the card type I assume this is meant to be "this turn?" I'm somewhat surprised we haven't yet seen this exact effect on a card. Lots of similar ones, but usually as part of another card. It may be that this effect isn't actually worth a card?
This feels like a lot of words to say "exile target creature or planeswalker."Sporegorger_Dragon wrote: ↑3 years agoCatastrophic Miscalculation
Instant (R)
Target creature deals damage equal to its power plus its toughness to another target creature or planeswalker with the same controller. If a creature or planeswalker dealt damage this way would die this turn, exile it instead.
-------
Bolas's greatest error was keeping Bontu within wingspan distance.
IIW: Ice Cream
Ah yeah, makes sense. I was focusing on the activated ability portion of the card as I was having some difficulty with the templating.
choking on the choking challenge? You hate to see it.
Dreadbore is a sorcery at rare, so this as an instant needs extra effort; it doesn't do anything unless your opponent controls a creature and at least one other creature or planeswalker, so if they happen to have Ugin and a Squirrel token then you're out of luck.
I really hope the pun in this card's name is intended,NinjaCaterpie wrote: ↑3 years agoIvy Lane Pitcher
Creature - Plant (U)
Defender, reach
At the beginning of combat on your turn, another target creature you control gains flying. Whenever it deals combat damage this turn, it deals that much damage to itself.
1/4
Goooood evening, friends! Harper Splorts with Morgan ██████, both coming at you live from Inverse Wyoming, bringing you the week's news in splorts around the globe! First up in the news is the explosive touchdown we saw from the Asphodel Falcons in their upset win over their rivals and league champions, the Skeletons. Storming the field with both their main team and every single player in their reserves and junior training program simultaneously in the final minute of the game, the Asphodel Falcons wound up completely incinerating the field and won by just three points! Skeletons fans are crying foul, but the referees allowed it, having been reduced to ash and unable to hand out any red cards. What an unconventional strategy! Skeletons team management, when asked for comment on their entire team being reduced to ash, admitted that although it was a significant setback for the competitive season, their players now being literally skeletons would do wonders for marketing. They're presently on the lookout for any necromancers capable of returning their team's souls to their inanimate bones, or any souls really as long as they can move again. Necromancers in need of work, take note!Cythare wrote: ↑3 years agoSplatsketball Torchdown
Sorcery (U)
Splatsketball Torchdown costs less to cast for each 1/1 creature you control.
Splatsketball Torchdown deals X damage to target player and each creature that player controls.
IIW: A DFC but the backside is just flavor text OR Merfolk splashdown
[Camera cuts to Morgan.]
[Camera cuts to Harper.]Krishnath wrote: ↑3 years agoGoblinball
Instant (R)
Cascade
Create a 1/1 red goblin creature token, when it enters the battlefield, it fights target creature.
Storm
"Only a goblin would understand the rules of Goblinball, yet it has become the most popular spectator sport in the last century, by far."
IIW: Disney Animated Canon (that means no Pixar).
[Camera cuts to Morgan.]dangerousdice wrote: ↑3 years agodari devolver
evolution creature - human devolver
haste
when dari devolver arrives, score 4.
whenever your score lowers, hypermorph dari devolver as a red +3/-1 and attache it to target bleeder.
-1/+3
iiw: magic in alternate universes.
[Camera cuts to Harper.]NinjaCaterpie wrote: ↑3 years agoIvy Lane Pitcher
Creature - Plant (U)
Defender, reach
At the beginning of combat on your turn, another target creature you control gains flying. Whenever it deals combat damage this turn, it deals that much damage to itself.
1/4
IIW: silly aftermath/split card names
[Camera cuts to Morgan.]Pygyzy wrote: ↑3 years ago5-D Full-Contact Ultra-Chess
Artifact (R)
All creatures have power and toughness equal to their mana value, and gain the following abilities and types accordingly, as indicated below-
0-1 *Counts as a Nawp has : Tap target Shibop or Tinghk.
2-3 *Counts as a Shibop, has : Fight target Nawp or Tinghk.
4-5 *Counts as a Tinghk, has Untap target Nawp or Shibop.
6-7 *Counts as a Koro, has Destroy target Koro or Nueeq.
8-9 *Counts as a Nueeq, has Gain control of target Koro or Nueeq.
10+ *Counts as a Gink, has : Target non-Gink fights another non-Gink.
Iiw: Something completely different
[Camera cuts to Harper.]Sporegorger_Dragon wrote: ↑3 years agoGorilla-Spanking Tournament
Enchantment (R)
Whenever a non-Ape creature enters the battlefield, its controller creates a 3/3 red and green Ape creature token, then that creature fights that Ape.
Whenever a source deals damage to an Ape, that source's controller gets that many points.
When Gorilla-Spanking Tournament leaves the battlefield, the player with more points than any other player draws two cards and gains 5 life.
At the beginning of your upkeep, if a player has more points than any other player and has 50 or more points, that player wins the game.
----
Flavor text: Choose any number-
-You should see the looks on the gorillas' faces.
-Scoring becomes harder when the gorillas start planting their rears in the ground or covering them in their hands.
-The real fun starts when the gorillas start spanking back.
-The air is soon filled with the sound of explosive claps and angry confused bellows.
IIW: Ice Cream