NEXUS FLAMINGO ☆ Exclusively For Custom Card Connoisseurs and Gnomes

User avatar
void_nothing
Look On My Sash...
Posts: 14922
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 124
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Tal Terig, Zendikar

Post by void_nothing » 1 year ago

Mergatroid_Jones wrote:
1 year ago
Halana and Alena, Together 2RG
Legendary Creature- Human Archer Scout
First strike, reach
When another creature enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter, a first strike counter, or a reach counter on it.
When exactly 2 damage is dealt to Halana and Alena, Together, exile it and return it to the battlefield transformed.
3/3
////
Alena, With Nothing to Lose
(Red) Legendary Creature- Human Berserker
Trample, haste
What am I without you? Why do I go on?
6/1

IIW: The Guildless of Ravnica
Image
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

User avatar
Megiddo
MEG
Posts: 1336
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted
Location: MEG

Post by Megiddo » 1 year ago

i suppose i'll judge later today. get your emotionally-wrenching entries in!
MEG

User avatar
Juancu
Posts: 520
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Juancu » 1 year ago

Emotional Wrench 3
Artifact
T: Choose target creature and target player. Trigger abilities as if that creature had just attacked that player, been put a +1/+1 counter by that player, been targeted by a spell cast by that player, and had dealt 1 combat damage to that player.

User avatar
Megiddo
MEG
Posts: 1336
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted
Location: MEG

Post by Megiddo » 1 year ago

Juancu wrote:
1 year ago
Loretto, Rowdy Scholar 2U
Legendary Creature - Human Noble
T: Draw a card, then discard a card. Loretto can't be blocked this turn.
Star-crossed (You can have two commanders if both have star-crossed. As you cast one, force the other on its conspiracy face, and put it in the command zone.)
3/2
--
Kidnapped Loretto
Conspiracy
Romantic agenda (When this conspiracy becomes face up, a random opponent becomes your adversary.)
Whenever your commander deals combat damage to your adversary, you may pay 1U. If you do, draw two cards, then turn this card to its other side.

Robenza, Shy Anarchist 2R
Legendary Creature - Human Peasant
Haste, menace
Star-crossed (You can have two commanders if both have star-crossed. As you cast one, force the other on its conspiracy face, and put it in the command zone.)
2/3
--
Secret Ringleader Robenza
Conspiracy
Romantic agenda (When this conspiracy becomes face up, a random opponent becomes your adversary.)
Whenever your commander deals combat damage to your adversary, you may pay R. If you do, this conspiracy deals 4 damage to any target, then turn this card to its other side.
Rules
Show
Hide
Any commander with starcrossed that is in a revealed zone (battlefield, graveyard, exile, command) can be "forced on its conspiracy face" by casting the other commander. Everytime a conspiracy becomes face up this way, your advensary changes (it's sort of like the monarch, but for a single player.)
IIW: magic endings
As I've come to expect, here's a whole new mechanic. Just so I get an idea of how this plays out, I start with both in the command zone, cast one of them, flip the other. Then if I complete the quest, i flip it back. Then I can cast that one and bounce the first back to the command zone as a conspiracy and cycle through.
I like this, and I like the flavor for this challenge. I would possibly like some more mechanical variety here, especially since these are explicitly for Commander. Your card names show me versatility in the flavor there, which is great, and I think there's a lot of room to explore there. You also have a tap ability that makes the card unblockable? I think that might just be a miss.
Mergatroid_Jones wrote:
1 year ago
Halana and Alena, Together 2RG
Legendary Creature- Human Archer Scout
First strike, reach
When another creature enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter, a first strike counter, or a reach counter on it.
When exactly 2 damage is dealt to Halana and Alena, Together, exile it and return it to the battlefield transformed.
3/3
////
Alena, With Nothing to Lose
(Red) Legendary Creature- Human Berserker
Trample, haste
What am I without you? Why do I go on?
6/1

IIW: The Guildless of Ravnica
oof owie
Well this does certainly qualify for the prompt! The front side seems powerful, as one would expect with such a strong partnership. I like the mechanical callbacks to their previous cards as well. It's a good remix! The only thing here that gives me pause is the transform clause. It's so narrow that it makes the card feel contrived or a little wonky. I get the flavor, though flavor can paper everything over. I think that's something that could be tweaked in a refinement pass though. With a flavor-driven character card like this, this is where I want to see a design start.
chetoos wrote:
1 year ago
Pia's Grief 2RR
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice any number of artifacts
Pia's Grief deals X damage to each creature and planeswalker, where X is the number of artifacts sacrificed as this spell was cast, then create an x/x colorless construct artifact creature token.
Husband killed, daughter burned alive, Pia turned herself toward those responsible.

IIW: How would Urza and Mishra have ruined a different plane if they'd been born there?
This feels like it could have been in Brother's War! That's a good thing, to be clear. Kaladesh would be a good place for a card like this, assuming we get stuff like fabricate or other cheap artifacts to sacrifice, this would be powerful, though potentially not a format-warping never-pass bomb. Also, damn, Pia has had a rough time. I wouldn't want to be on the wrong end of her wrath.
Juancu wrote:
1 year ago
Emotional Wrench 3
Artifact
T: Choose target creature and target player. Trigger abilities as if that creature had just attacked that player, been put a +1/+1 counter by that player, been targeted by a spell cast by that player, and had dealt 1 combat damage to that player.
I just want to use this to annoy my opponent my triggering ward abilities that aren't countering anything.

OK, well, wow. I may be partially playing to please the crowd here but I'm going to give it to Mergatroid_Jones

Next: The Guildless of Ravnica
MEG

User avatar
Juancu
Posts: 520
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Juancu » 1 year ago

Edit: nevermind, I like the future post better.
Last edited by Juancu 1 year ago, edited 5 times in total.

User avatar
Sporegorger_Dragon
Posts: 1954
Joined: 3 years ago
Pronoun: he / him

Post by Sporegorger_Dragon » 1 year ago

Glia, The Glint-Eye
1{U}{B}{R}{G}
Legendary Creature - Elder Nephilim (M)
Whenever Glia, The Glint-Eye deals combat damage to a player, draw that many cards.
Whenever a player discards a card, put a +1/+1 counter on Glia.
{2}, Discard a card: Glia gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
4/4


Iknir, The Ink-Treader
3{W}{U}{R}{G}
Legendary Creature - Elder Nephilim (M)
Each other creature you control is a copy of Iknir, The Ink-Treader, except it has has base power and toughness 3/3 and isn't legendary.
Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery spell, if that spell targets only Iknir, copy the spell for each other nonland permanent that spell could target. Each copy targets a different one of those permanents.
6/6


IIW: Write better flavor text for Lazotep Behemoth.
"What's with you and pitcher plants?" -NinjaCaterpie, 27-9-2021

User avatar
chetoos
Posts: 995
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 3
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Not the west coast

Post by chetoos » 1 year ago

Krenko, Lazotep Dealer 2rr
Creature - goblin warrior
Other Nontoken creatures enter the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on them.
Whenever a +1/+1 counter is placed on a creature an opponent controls, create a 1/1 red goblin creature token unless that player pays .
The eternals may be gone, but profit is eternal.
3/3


Iiw: how would urza and mishra have ruined a different plane if they had been born there?

User avatar
Cythare
Say You'll Dismember Me
Posts: 707
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Studying at the Judge Academy

Post by Cythare » 1 year ago

oh man I just missed a good prompt. sad.

Lavinia, Disillusioned 2WW
Legendary Creature — Human Soldier (R)
Multicolor ward 2
When Lavinia, Disillusioned enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell with a multicolored color identity, proliferate.
2/2

IIW: That's no moon!
Level 2 Judge circa 2016
Draft my cube! (630 cards)

User avatar
Megiddo
MEG
Posts: 1336
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted
Location: MEG

Post by Megiddo » 1 year ago

can't sleep on NF
MEG

User avatar
Juancu
Posts: 520
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Juancu » 1 year ago

Gruul Defector 1GR
Creature - Ogre Warrior (U)
As you cast this spell, you may forfeit R or G. (Pay it as 1. For the rest of the game, pay that symbol as 4 plus 1 life. Whenever you cast a spell paying life this way, draw a card.)
Whenever Gruul Defector attacks, if you have forfeited G or R, you may destroy target artifact.
3/3
rules and musings
Show
Hide
Rules: Once you forfeit a color, it stays forfeit (you can't pay 1 for it again.)
Design: This mechanic is a mana sink in the long game, but also mana fixing for color splashes. Let's say you splash red with a few cards that forfeit it. If your splashed mountains are not appearing (presumably because you added less thanks to forfeit) you can pay R as 1 early, and leave the rest of the splash for the late game, where it will also cantrip.
Color Pie: Yes, red forfeiters allow you to play red cards without any red lands. But many mana stones can do the same. So, think of them as weird mana enablers.
Flavor: When you forfeit a color, you are burning your bridges with your guild, who helped you access it. In the future using that color becomes really hard, but profitable, since you are doing things on your own.
IIW: magic endings
Last edited by Juancu 1 year ago, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
spacemonaut
Bauble reclaimer
Posts: 1374
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 10
Pronoun: she / her
Location: Scotland

Post by spacemonaut » 1 year ago

Sixth District Reformist 2WW
Creature — Human Advisor Citizen (U)
Vigilance, lifelink
: Untap target creature. It gains lifelink until end of turn.
RemembranceXWW, Exile Sixth District Reformist from your graveyard: Untap X target creatures. They gain lifelink until end of turn.
"We can do better than this system. We must do better!"
3/3


Prahv Port Guard 2R
Creature — Minotaur Warrior Citizen (U)
Haste
Whenever Prahv Port Guard attacks, create a 1/1 red Citizen creature token with haste that is tapped and attacking.
Remembrance3R, Exile Prahv Port Guard from your graveyard: Create three 1/1 red Citizen creature tokens with haste.
"Hold strong, like the guards of yore."
2/2


IIW: the deep dwarven kingdoms and their frontiers
Last edited by spacemonaut 1 year ago, edited 2 times in total.

User avatar
Cythare
Say You'll Dismember Me
Posts: 707
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Studying at the Judge Academy

Post by Cythare » 1 year ago

Third District Beggar W
Creature — Elf Citizen (R)
Whenever another player casts a multicolored spell, create a Treasure token.
As long as you control ten or more artifact tokens, Third District Beggar gets +5/+5 and has flying and lifelink.
1/1

IIW: Cute critters of Kaladesh
Level 2 Judge circa 2016
Draft my cube! (630 cards)

User avatar
Mergatroid_Jones
Posts: 2581
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Mergatroid_Jones » 1 year ago

Judging tomorrow after work. Long day, including a prerelease.

User avatar
Sporegorger_Dragon
Posts: 1954
Joined: 3 years ago
Pronoun: he / him

Post by Sporegorger_Dragon » 1 year ago

Defrocked Pastor
3{B}
Creature - Vampire Cleric (C)
Haunt
When Defrocked Pastor enters the battlefield or the creature it haunts dies, create a 1/1 Bat creature token with flying.
1{B}: Defrocked Pastor gains lifelink until end of turn.
3/1
Defrauded the Orzhov, defrocked by the Orzhov.


IIW: Write better flavor text for Lazotep Behemoth.
"What's with you and pitcher plants?" -NinjaCaterpie, 27-9-2021

User avatar
spacemonaut
Bauble reclaimer
Posts: 1374
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 10
Pronoun: she / her
Location: Scotland

Post by spacemonaut » 1 year ago

Rejected Scientist 2UBR
Creature — Elf Wizard (R)
Prowess
Whenever an instant or sorcery spell you control deals damage to a player or permanent, you may sacrifice a creature with power greater than or equal to that damage. If you do, draw cards equal to the damage.
"Too extreme? Too EXTREME!? I'll show the lot of them!
3/3


IIW: the deep dwarven kingdoms and their frontiers

User avatar
Mergatroid_Jones
Posts: 2581
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Mergatroid_Jones » 1 year ago

Judgings
Show
Hide
Sporegorger_Dragon wrote:
1 year ago
Glia, The Glint-Eye
1{U}{B}{R}{G}
Legendary Creature - Elder Nephilim (M)
Whenever Glia, The Glint-Eye deals combat damage to a player, draw that many cards.
Whenever a player discards a card, put a +1/+1 counter on Glia.
{2}, Discard a card: Glia gets +1/+1 until end of turn.
4/4


Iknir, The Ink-Treader
3{W}{U}{R}{G}
Legendary Creature - Elder Nephilim (M)
Each other creature you control is a copy of Iknir, The Ink-Treader, except it has has base power and toughness 3/3 and isn't legendary.
Whenever a player casts an instant or sorcery spell, if that spell targets only Iknir, copy the spell for each other nonland permanent that spell could target. Each copy targets a different one of those permanents.
6/6


IIW: Write better flavor text for Lazotep Behemoth.
Glia: I like the concept, but I don't like that the activated ability gives it both a +1/+1 counter and +1/+1 until end of turn. I think the one mana ability should be something else, since the static ability already refers to Glint-Eye Nephilim's ability with the activated one.

Iknir: Gosh. Golly. Gee. It only triggers on cast, so the copies don't keep ringing out forever. That's good, but will lead to people playing it wrong. Generally, it looks like a confusing card to grock in a complicated game state.
chetoos wrote:
1 year ago
Krenko, Lazotep Dealer 2rr
Creature - goblin warrior
Other Nontoken creatures enter the battlefield with an additional +1/+1 counter on them.
Whenever a +1/+1 counter is placed on a creature an opponent controls, create a 1/1 red goblin creature token unless that player pays .
The eternals may be gone, but profit is eternal.
3/3


Iiw: how would urza and mishra have ruined a different plane if they had been born there?
Rhystic Goblin. This is a weird group-hug card. Nobody wants to kill Krenko because they like the counters. And nobody wants to pay the tax. They're just goblin tokens after all. Seems fun. And I like the flavor. Good to acknowledge the aftermath of the war.
Cythare wrote:
1 year ago
oh man I just missed a good prompt. sad.

Lavinia, Disillusioned 2WW
Legendary Creature — Human Soldier (R)
Multicolor ward 2
When Lavinia, Disillusioned enters the battlefield, put a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell with a multicolored color identity, proliferate.
2/2

IIW: That's no moon!
Bold choice leaving no reminder text for multicolor ward. But you are right: it's perfectly clear. It's a cute little hill-giant sized hate-bear with a reasonably costed etb. No notes.
Juancu wrote:
1 year ago
Gruul Defector 1GR
Creature - Ogre Warrior (U)
As you cast this spell, you may forfeit R or G. (Pay it as 1. For the rest of the game, pay that symbol as 4 plus 1 life. Whenever you cast a spell paying life this way, draw a card.)
Whenever Gruul Defector attacks, if you have forfeited G or R, you may destroy target artifact.
3/3
rules and musings
Show
Hide
Rules: Once you forfeit a color, it stays forfeit (you can't pay 1 for it again.)
Design: This mechanic is a mana sink in the long game, but also mana fixing for color splashes. Let's say you splash red with a few cards that forfeit it. If your splashed mountains are not appearing (presumably because you added less thanks to forfeit) you can pay R as 1 early, and leave the rest of the splash for the late game, where it will also cantrip.
Color Pie: Yes, red forfeiters allow you to play red cards without any red lands. But many mana stones can do the same. So, think of them as weird mana enablers.
Flavor: When you forfeit a color, you are burning your bridges with your guild, who helped you access it. In the future using that color becomes really hard, but profitable, since you are doing things on your own.
IIW: magic endings
First off, I think your reminder text confused me at first. Here's what I would recommend: (You may pay 1 instead of the R or G in this spell's mana cost. If you do, pay for that symbol as 4 plus one life for the rest of the game. When you when you cast a spell in this way, draw a card.)

It's darn wordy, but it's a very odd ability. It is closest in concept to 2-brid mana (), and I've long been a fan of that mechanic and thought they should bring it back. The 4+1life+cantrip thing really changes the way cards work, and I think the most frequent way to play forfeit would be to forfeit a color you aren't playing in your draft deck anyway.

Neat idea. I appreciate all your weird mechanics.
spacemonaut wrote:
1 year ago

Sixth District Reformist 2WW
Creature — Human Advisor Citizen (U)
Vigilance, lifelink
: Untap target creature. It gains lifelink until end of turn.
RemembranceXWW, Exile Sixth District Reformist from your graveyard: Untap X target creatures. They gain lifelink until end of turn.
"We can do better than this system. We must do better!"
3/3


Prahv Port Guard 2R
Creature — Minotaur Warrior Citizen (U)
Haste
Whenever Prahv Port Guard attacks, create a 1/1 red Citizen creature token with haste that is tapped and attacking.
Remembrance3R, Exile Prahv Port Guard from your graveyard: Create three 1/1 red Citizen creature tokens with haste.
"Hold strong, like the guards of yore."
2/2


IIW: the deep dwarven kingdoms and their frontiers
Goes through every graveyard mechanic in my head. How is it this simple mechanic hasn't been done yet in 30 years? It's just putting a name to the Ghoulcaller's Accomplice ability, but that ability played well.

I don't love the Squee, Dubious Monarch guy at uncommon. That ability is pretty backbreaking in limited, and four mana for 3 guys from the grave is a pretty pushed rate on top.

The reformist shouldn't be able to untap itself, but that's just a nitpick.

Cythare wrote:
1 year ago
Third District Beggar W
Creature — Elf Citizen (R)
Whenever another player casts a multicolored spell, create a Treasure token.
As long as you control ten or more artifact tokens, Third District Beggar gets +5/+5 and has flying and lifelink.
1/1

IIW: Cute critters of Kaladesh
When the beggar collects enough alms, they turn into a Baneslayer Angel. The flavor of that is odd, and I'd prefer a more innocuous ability when active. Perhaps a simple anthem, or maybe some exorbitant ward for you and your creatures. It makes sense that when you give to the beggar, the beggar gives back to everyone, but it's odd that for them to turn into Superman
Sporegorger_Dragon wrote:
1 year ago
Defrocked Pastor
3{B}
Creature - Vampire Cleric (C)
Haunt
When Defrocked Pastor enters the battlefield or the creature it haunts dies, create a 1/1 Bat creature token with flying.
1{B}: Defrocked Pastor gains lifelink until end of turn.
3/1
Defrauded the Orzhov, defrocked by the Orzhov.


IIW: Write better flavor text for Lazotep Behemoth.
I love the haunt mechanic, and I've always thought they should bring it back and play around with it more. So you've got that in your favor

A 3/1 plus a 1/1 flying is a sweet common, and the bonuses on top are both powerful and reasonable. And it makes a ton of sense that there would be disgraced former-orzhov above and beyond other guilds. No notes.
spacemonaut wrote:
1 year ago
Rejected Scientist 2UBR
Creature — Elf Wizard (R)
Prowess
Whenever an instant or sorcery spell you control deals damage to a player or permanent, you may sacrifice a creature with power greater than or equal to that damage. If you do, draw cards equal to the damage.
"Too extreme? Too EXTREME!? I'll show the lot of them!
3/3


IIW: the deep dwarven kingdoms and their frontiers


The Izzet thought he was too extreme. The Dimir didn't want anything to do with him. But with bloody explosions like that, the Rakdos will make him a star!

This has that awkwardness of spells-matter creatures where it wants you to have a high spell-count in your deck, but it also asks you to play a lot of creatures to reap the benefits. I do like the flavor though. I only wish it had some green in there, since the Simic and the Izzet are the most sciency guilds.


Winner and next
Show
Hide
HM: Cythare for Lavinia and Chetoos for Krenko

Winner: Sporegorger Dragon for a little common with haunt.

Next: Write better flavor text for Lazotep Behemoth.



User avatar
Megiddo
MEG
Posts: 1336
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted
Location: MEG

Post by Megiddo » 1 year ago

Astral Phelddagrif 1GWU
Legendary Enchantment Creature — Zombie Phelddagrif {M}
G: Astral Phelddagrif gains flying until end of turn. Target opponent creates a 1/1 green Hippo creature token.
W: Astral Phelddagrif phases out. Target opponent gains 2 life.
U: Put a +1/+1 counter on Astral Phelddagrif. Target opponent may draw a card.
4/4

IIW: the Gatewatch arrive on New Phyrexia only to find that somebody beat them to it and wiped out the Phyrexians. Who do they find instead?
MEG

User avatar
Juancu
Posts: 520
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Juancu » 1 year ago

"It burst through the wall, right into the stage at the climax of the Dance of Blades, and redefined the whole concept of the splash zone. Please get me another!" -Fauzzel, Showrunner.

The Wordle Format: If you are playing this format, whenever a player resolves a spell with flavor text, they may open their Puzzle tab in the Magic Companion App. That player's current wordle puzzle (randomly picked) appears for 30 seconds, They may enter up to one 5-letter word in that flavor text, and up to one custom word. If they enter an incorrect custom word, they lose 2 life (and the puzzle will remain filled if it's opened again later.) If they enter the correct word, congratulations! They get to draw a card! A new puzzle will open if they continue casting spells with flavor text.

IIW: magic endings
Last edited by Juancu 1 year ago, edited 2 times in total.

Ink-Treader
Posts: 1521
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Ink-Treader » 1 year ago

Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature - Zombie Hippo (C)
Vivien looked over the assembled Ravnicans. "They've never seen a hippo before," she mused. "Bolas' perversion of one should give them a proper first impression of a hippo's ferocity, at least."
5/4

IIW: Legendary animals

User avatar
spacemonaut
Bauble reclaimer
Posts: 1374
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 10
Pronoun: she / her
Location: Scotland

Post by spacemonaut » 1 year ago

Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature — Zombie Hippo
Although seemingly docile, the territorial hippos of the Luxa had slaughtered countless people who didn't know better than to steer clear. And here, in Ravnica, was an entire world of people who didn't know better.
5/4

sorry mileva you're wrong and dumb and about to be killed by a hippo. this is why you don't have a card and the hippo does.


IIW: amonkhet was only the trial run and now bolas has brought his zombie death cult concept to another plane
Last edited by spacemonaut 1 year ago, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
Mergatroid_Jones
Posts: 2581
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: Unlisted

Post by Mergatroid_Jones » 1 year ago

Lazotep Behemoth 4b
Creature- Zombie Hippo
Menace
"Fall back to the boats! These things of stone cannot follow us there!" -Captain Orienne, final command
3/5

IIW: Make a new card by subtly changing an old one.

User avatar
Ulka
Posts: 1539
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Minneapolis
Contact:

Post by Ulka » 1 year ago

Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature — Zombie Hippo
"Crap we are being invaded. All I wanted to do today was sell my cabbages to Terry from the Rakdos Acrobatics association for their up coming party but no! We get invaded! Oh hey I think I see Elliot. That cheeky Loxodon is painted blue and is headed over here in a hurry. - Ted the Guildless's last words. "
5/4

IIW: Design a card for the poster above.
Modern: Goryo's Gifts | Heartless Architect | Soul Sisters | MonoGreen Devotion
Pauper: Blackened Eggs | Zombies | Domain Zoo | Sultai Teachings | Jund Gardens

User avatar
chetoos
Posts: 995
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 3
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Not the west coast

Post by chetoos » 1 year ago

Lazotep Behemoth 4b
Creature — Zombie Hippo
"What prodigious bite strength, what astonishing resilience. Vorel, see if you can get any samples of that thing's flesh... once we're not about to be eaten." Prime speaker vaniffar
5/4

User avatar
void_nothing
Look On My Sash...
Posts: 14922
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 124
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Tal Terig, Zendikar

Post by void_nothing » 1 year ago

Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature - Zombie Hippo (C)
Bolas made many of Amonkhet's most feared monsters into Eternals - ammits, manticores, worse.
5/4

IIW: Warhammer 40k Commander Decks II
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

User avatar
Sporegorger_Dragon
Posts: 1954
Joined: 3 years ago
Pronoun: he / him

Post by Sporegorger_Dragon » 1 year ago

I just watched that Avengers thang. Sure was something, big purple guy and all these guys in costumes!

Let me tell, that was a mighty fine chortle! Joss Whedon is a genius!

And the most important thing is the dialogue, ya hear? It's gonna be funny, and it also has to point out it's funny! That's the key to making a fortune!

Anyway, let's get to business, what sort of flavor text we need for this zombie hippo?


Submissions:
SPOILER
Show
Hide
Megiddo wrote:
1 year ago
Astral Phelddagrif 1GWU
Legendary Enchantment Creature — Zombie Phelddagrif {M}
G: Astral Phelddagrif gains flying until end of turn. Target opponent creates a 1/1 green Hippo creature token.
W: Astral Phelddagrif phases out. Target opponent gains 2 life.
U: Put a +1/+1 counter on Astral Phelddagrif. Target opponent may draw a card.
4/4

IIW: the Gatewatch arrive on New Phyrexia only to find that somebody beat them to it and wiped out the Phyrexians. Who do they find instead?
Wh-what? I guess something from design from the next set got mixed up in here. It is a zombie hippo, after all. I guess whoever sent this in thought we were replacing Lazotep Behemoth.
Juancu wrote:
1 year ago
"It burst through the wall, right into the stage at the climax of the Dance of Blades, and redefined the whole concept of the splash zone. Please get me another!" -Fauzzel, Showrunner.

IIW: magic endings
A snapshot of daily life in a Rakdos club, either during the initial invasion, or perhaps the aftermath a few days later. I could easily see the Rakdos initially not grasping the gravity of the situation.

No, this won't do! There is a certain bombastic flair, no doubt, but where's the corniness? The self-awareness?
Ink-Treader wrote:
1 year ago
Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature - Zombie Hippo (C)
Vivien looked over the assembled Ravnicans. "They've never seen a hippo before," she mused. "Bolas' perversion of one should give them a proper first impression of a hippo's ferocity, at least."
5/4

IIW: Legendary animals
Vivien musing darkly to herself, a moment of introspection before the chaos that will follow. Rightfully pointing that real hippos are extremely dangerous and aggressive. Fitting that Bolas would choose to include some in his Dreadehorde.

No no, you guys aren't getting this! What is this, a theater play?! We need something witty, smart, snazzy!
spacemonaut wrote:
1 year ago
Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature — Zombie Hippo
Although seemingly docile, the territorial hippos of the Luxa had slaughtered countless people who didn't know better than to steer clear. And here, in Ravnica, was an entire world of people who didn't know better.
5/4

sorry mileva you're wrong and dumb and about to be killed by a hippo. this is why you don't have a card and the hippo does.


IIW: amonkhet was only the trial run and now bolas has brought his zombie death cult concept to another plane
Here, instead of an observation by one of our characters, we have a bit of exposition justifying why hippos are being eternalized alongside manticores. A bit more explicit and impersonal that the previous, but conveys the same thing.

What is this, a David Attenborough documentary?! Man, you guys are pretty lame.
Mergatroid_Jones wrote:
1 year ago
Lazotep Behemoth 4b
Creature- Zombie Hippo
Menace
"Fall back to the boats! These things of stone cannot follow us there!" -Captain Orienne, final command
3/5

IIW: Make a new card by subtly changing an old one.
Classic 'last words" formal flavor text, combining tragedy and comedy. Tragicomedy.

Hmmm, now we're getting somewhere! It's funny because Orienne is dumb and doesn't know hippos swim! But maybe it'll be better if someone pointed out how dumb that was, like Jace!
Ulka wrote:
1 year ago
Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature — Zombie Hippo
"Crap we are being invaded. All I wanted to do today was sell my cabbages to Terry from the Rakdos Acrobatics association for their up coming party but no! We get invaded! Oh hey I think I see Elliot. That cheeky Loxodon is painted blue and is headed over here in a hurry. - Ted the Guildless's last words. "
5/4

IIW: Design a card for the poster above.
We can't use the word crap, so rejected. This is just wacky slapstick, we don't want anything silly like that! We want something cool and memeable!
chetoos wrote:
1 year ago
Lazotep Behemoth 4b
Creature — Zombie Hippo
"What prodigious bite strength, what astonishing resilience. Vorel, see if you can get any samples of that thing's flesh... once we're not about to be eaten." Prime speaker vaniffar
5/4
The Simic still indulge in sciences, even in the midst of battle, with a hint a levity towards the end. Again emphasizing the ferocity of the hippo, and illustrating Bolas' pragmatism in selecting his invasion forces.

Hmph! Back again with this! That part towards the end was good though!
void_nothing wrote:
1 year ago
Lazotep Behemoth 4B
Creature - Zombie Hippo (C)
Bolas made many of Amonkhet's most feared monsters into Eternals - ammits, manticores, worse.
5/4

IIW: Warhammer 40k Commander Decks II
This submission not-so-subtly implies that hippos are worse than ammits and manticores, an irony since the creature is vanilla.

No no NO! You guys don't get it all!

WE have to POINT out the ABSURDITY of the situation! That's the secret to epicness and being trendy!

We have all the things necessary! THINK! IMAGINE!

You're a Boros soldier. Some sort of otherwordly evil is invading your world. Your leaders are a bit vague about the details, but one thing is clear; the enemy is not of Ravnica. This is not a battle against another guild, this something that wishes to consume all of Ravnica.

Then you see it. An absurd shape.

A hippo!

You are incredulous. Despite the gravity of the situation, you fully realize the absurdity of the situation

You think "I know I should be more concerned. But a big, blue zombie-potamus from beyond the stars? This is what they're invading us with?"

See, that's ho...wait a minute, THAT'S IT! I'VE GOT IT!

Winners and next:
SPOILER
Show
Hide
HM: void_nothing

Winner: Ink-Treader

Next:
Legendary animals
"What's with you and pitcher plants?" -NinjaCaterpie, 27-9-2021

Post Reply Previous topicNext topic

Return to “Contests & Games”