[Off-Topic] Community Chat Thread

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Post by Hermes_ » 6 months ago

RxPhantom wrote:
6 months ago
I made a new thread so this topic no longer dominates the Off-Topic forum.
point of order: this a THREAD not a forum :P
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Post by Ulka » 6 months ago

I was about to post that y'all need to find a new section for this as this is certainly not off topic. thanks for sparing me having to use my Mod voice.
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Post by Ulka » 6 months ago

Speaking off offtopic chat, today my fiancé and I were looking through our wedding budget and my mind kept going. you could buy a copy of each dual for like 1/3rd of what this is going to costs....
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Post by lyonhaert » 6 months ago

Ulka wrote:
6 months ago
Speaking off offtopic chat, today my fiancé and I were looking through our wedding budget and my mind kept going. you could buy a copy of each dual for like 1/3rd of what this is going to costs....
Yeah, it's crazy how much money it's "normal" to spend on weddings. My partner and I did something fairly small (70-80 people total) and a mix of casual/formal and spent about 3500 USD or so total. But we were rather proud to have planned it ourselves to a level we were comfortable with and pulled it off without complication or overworking ourselves or stressing ourselves out.
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Post by pokken » 6 months ago

Ulka wrote:
6 months ago
, today my fiancé and I were looking through our wedding budget and my mind kept going. you could buy a copy of each dual for like 1/3rd of what this is going to costs..
All I can say is - the wedding industry is evil and predatory and I would not recommend giving them one penny. It's a cataclysmic waste. Recommend going around them wherever you can.

We managed our entire wedding for $3500 of which most of that was dress, cake and catering for a hundred people. so basically a party and an outfit. :P The dress was only 'cos her grandparents paid for it. I wore a nice suit instead of an expensive rented tux and I still have that suit jacket today and wore it to several job interviews over the years :P


What we did:
* Paid a friend with a nice house to host the reception
* Hired my buddy's mom who was a non-wedding-specific caterer to do catering and cake
* Had it at our local church who charged is $100 and $50 for the pianist - parks are also a great substitute.
* Hired a friend of a friend for photography
* Skipped tuxes and bridesmaid dresses (criminy what a racket)

You go to one of those wedding places and hire a wedding planner and all that garbage you could spend $20-30,000 easy these days. And it's in the trash after you're done.

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Post by Ulka » 6 months ago

Im in the unfortunate boat that between aunts, uncles and cousins I have 93 people to invite and she has 75 in the same rung of family so its a tad more expensive.
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Post by Krishnath » 6 months ago

Ulka wrote:
6 months ago
Im in the unfortunate boat that between aunts, uncles and cousins I have 93 people to invite and she has 75 in the same rung of family so its a tad more expensive.
In times like that, I find it perfectly acceptable to elope and get married in a quiet ceremony with no guests far from where you live. :thinking:
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Post by SocorroTortoise » 6 months ago

We planned for ~80 people when I got married and I think it still ran up to $7-8000, most of which was catering. I was working for a company that did small destination weddings so I got everything for the ceremony, the sound system for the reception, and a photographer at basically cost. Trying to put something together that size while actually having to pay market prices, even non-wedding market prices, would have been tough for where my wife and I were financially at the time. I'm pretty sure we would just elope and then throw a party for people after the fact if we were going to do it again.
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Post by DirkGently » 6 months ago

materpillar wrote:
6 months ago
The game design also always favored doing as much damage as fast as possible to cripple the other army before they could retaliate. This incentivized very snowbally games.
In fairness, that's probably how actual battles go, I'd imagine. There's no board clears to play from behind IRL (well, I guess an atomic bomb or something but I think that's generally frowned upon as being BM ;) )
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Post by toctheyounger » 6 months ago

Well I guess I can take things away from crossover.

Had a pretty terrible weekend, not just for pandemic stuff. We're back in relative lockdown, but that's a lot more mild for Dirk and I than it is for you folk in the states/UK. But uh, yesterday afternoon my 4 year old cat was hit by a car right in front of myself and my 9 month old son. She didn't die right away, but her hips or back broke, so she was able to crawl off the road, and we took her to a vet where she was euthanised.

It's a bit weird to share with people, I know there's a lot of folk out there who don't put the same level of importance on the life of a pet as a human (that's how she got hit), but it's a massive loss for us. She had her ass parked on my wife's belly for the entire 9 months it took to grow my son, and since then she's put up with pulling, poking and grabbing from him just to be close to him and be friends. We saw her as family and envisioned her being my son's best mate growing up.

In a way I find this harder than saying goodbye to flesh and blood family - she chose us, and it's really hard to see someone that loyal and loving pass away.

Sorry for the sad vibes, but hey at least it's off topic I guess.
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Post by Hermes_ » 6 months ago

toctheyounger wrote:
6 months ago
Well I guess I can take things away from crossover.

Had a pretty terrible weekend, not just for pandemic stuff. We're back in relative lockdown, but that's a lot more mild for Dirk and I than it is for you folk in the states/UK. But uh, yesterday afternoon my 4 year old cat was hit by a car right in front of myself and my 9 month old son. She didn't die right away, but her hips or back broke, so she was able to crawl off the road, and we took her to a vet where she was euthanised.

It's a bit weird to share with people, I know there's a lot of folk out there who don't put the same level of importance on the life of a pet as a human (that's how she got hit), but it's a massive loss for us. She had her ass parked on my wife's belly for the entire 9 months it took to grow my son, and since then she's put up with pulling, poking and grabbing from him just to be close to him and be friends. We saw her as family and envisioned her being my son's best mate growing up.

In a way I find this harder than saying goodbye to flesh and blood family - she chose us, and it's really hard to see someone that loyal and loving pass away.

Sorry for the sad vibes, but hey at least it's off topic I guess.
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Post by RxPhantom » 6 months ago

toctheyounger wrote:
6 months ago
Well I guess I can take things away from crossover.

Had a pretty terrible weekend, not just for pandemic stuff. We're back in relative lockdown, but that's a lot more mild for Dirk and I than it is for you folk in the states/UK. But uh, yesterday afternoon my 4 year old cat was hit by a car right in front of myself and my 9 month old son. She didn't die right away, but her hips or back broke, so she was able to crawl off the road, and we took her to a vet where she was euthanised.

It's a bit weird to share with people, I know there's a lot of folk out there who don't put the same level of importance on the life of a pet as a human (that's how she got hit), but it's a massive loss for us. She had her ass parked on my wife's belly for the entire 9 months it took to grow my son, and since then she's put up with pulling, poking and grabbing from him just to be close to him and be friends. We saw her as family and envisioned her being my son's best mate growing up.

In a way I find this harder than saying goodbye to flesh and blood family - she chose us, and it's really hard to see someone that loyal and loving pass away.

Sorry for the sad vibes, but hey at least it's off topic I guess.
I know that pain, as I'm sure many of us do. I often have a harder time losing dogs than I do human beings. I'm sorry this happened to her. I'm sorry this happened to your family. She sounds like a great cat.
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Post by toctheyounger » 6 months ago

RxPhantom wrote:
6 months ago
I know that pain, as I'm sure many of us do. I often have a harder time losing dogs than I do human beings. I'm sorry this happened to her. I'm sorry this happened to your family. She sounds like a great cat.
Thanks for the well wishes friend. We've got a lot of fond memories of time with her, we just wish there were more to come.
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Post by WizardMN » 6 months ago

@toctheyounger

As RxPhantom said, you aren't alone; I was a wreck when I had to put my dog down 2 years ago. And it still pains me to think about.

It hurts, a lot, when we lose a pet for any reason. They are a member of the family and there is no shame in grieving for them. I am truly sorry for your loss but I am glad that she clearly had such a loving family.

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Post by toctheyounger » 6 months ago

WizardMN wrote:
6 months ago
It hurts, a lot, when we lose a pet for any reason. They are a member of the family and there is no shame in grieving for them. I am truly sorry for your loss but I am glad that she clearly had such a loving family.
Thanks friend, and yeah it's pretty tough. First time I've actually buried a pet of mine, and the hole you dig is small but it's still the hardest hole you've ever dug. Guess we'll just have to remember her as much as we can, they're never really gone so long as they're in your memories.
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Post by pokken » 6 months ago

dirk gently wrote:
Global warming ...

But those were my decisions, obviously. I do feel like lift tickets have gone up significantly in past years, though. I think I only paid 300 for my first season pass 6-7 years ago.
Here in Erie there are three little ski lodges in an hour or so, nothing like the slopes out west. We're talking like 500-1000 foot drops at most.

But season passes are still 400 bucks or less here. Tickets are 40-50 or so which really adds up but I'm enjoying my kid's last year of being free this season lol.. gonna try passes next year since my wife loves to ski and the kid is liking it too

I'm new, took my first lesson last season and on my fifth trip this season tomorrow. Sadly it looks.like the warming is indeed gonna shorten the season here.

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Post by Dunharrow » 6 months ago

Ulka wrote:
6 months ago
Im in the unfortunate boat that between aunts, uncles and cousins I have 93 people to invite and she has 75 in the same rung of family so its a tad more expensive.
Firstly, congrats.

Secondly, I totally get it. My wife and I have huge families. I think we had over 300 invited family members, and ended up with about 200ish who came (many are out of town, but they needed to be invited). With friends and coworkers, we ended up over 300 people.

It was expensive as %$#%. The amounts other people gave for their weddings in this thread just make me laugh. Yikes.

If you are having a big wedding like this, I recommend paying as much as you can as you go. We paid for a lot over the 8 months leading to our wedding, so when all was paid we actually had a nice sum of money to go to a downpayment on a house.
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Post by benjameenbear » 6 months ago

@toctheyounger
Damn, I'm so sorry. I remember when we had to put down our Pit mix named Roman. We adopted him from a shelter with an unknown background and he was an incredible friend and stress-reliever for my wife as well when she was pregnant with our first. Sadly, we had to put him down because he had three strikes (he bit 3 people pretty seriously in a short time span: myself, a small door-to-door sales girl and another who was a 9 year old kid chasing him in our backyard). I STILL remember the sheer sadness and grief that descended on my wife and I as they injected the euthanization shot.

God, he was so CHILL with my son and wife. The reason he bit me was because he thought I was hurting my son when I was wrestling with him on the floor. But my son would pull on his ears, sit on him, lay his fat head right next to Roman's fat head, and he wouldn't do a damn thing. What a fantastic animal. He was supposed to help my wife and son manage their anxiety and be a guardian while I'm at work.

Tears are welling up just thinking about it.

Anyways, my sincere condolences. I have a personal belief that heaven is filled with the animals we loved in our life and for me, being a deeply religious person, that brings a modicum of comfort knowing that I'll see that wonderful animal again in hopefully better circumstances.

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Post by Legend » 6 months ago

pokken wrote:
6 months ago
500-1000
I called this for ski reservations, but it was the wrong number.
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Post by cryogen » 6 months ago

Legend wrote:
6 months ago
pokken wrote:
6 months ago
500-1000
I called this for ski reservations, but it was the wrong number.
You probably forgot the 1.
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Post by Toshi » 6 months ago

cryogen wrote:
6 months ago
Legend wrote:
6 months ago
pokken wrote:
6 months ago
500-1000
I called this for ski reservations, but it was the wrong number.
You probably forgot the 1.

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Post by pokken » 6 months ago

Legend wrote:
6 months ago
pokken wrote:
6 months ago
500-1000
I called this for ski reservations, but it was the wrong number.
Sorry I meant between 867-5309 feet.

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Post by toctheyounger » 6 months ago

benjameenbear wrote:
6 months ago
@toctheyounger
Damn, I'm so sorry. I remember when we had to put down our Pit mix named Roman. We adopted him from a shelter with an unknown background and he was an incredible friend and stress-reliever for my wife as well when she was pregnant with our first. Sadly, we had to put him down because he had three strikes (he bit 3 people pretty seriously in a short time span: myself, a small door-to-door sales girl and another who was a 9 year old kid chasing him in our backyard). I STILL remember the sheer sadness and grief that descended on my wife and I as they injected the euthanization shot.

God, he was so CHILL with my son and wife. The reason he bit me was because he thought I was hurting my son when I was wrestling with him on the floor. But my son would pull on his ears, sit on him, lay his fat head right next to Roman's fat head, and he wouldn't do a damn thing. What a fantastic animal. He was supposed to help my wife and son manage their anxiety and be a guardian while I'm at work.

Tears are welling up just thinking about it.

Anyways, my sincere condolences. I have a personal belief that heaven is filled with the animals we loved in our life and for me, being a deeply religious person, that brings a modicum of comfort knowing that I'll see that wonderful animal again in hopefully better circumstances.
Thanks so much Ben, you're a good friend. Kind of helps to not feel like it's weird to mourn a pet. Here in NZ where the roots of the settlement/colonialization of our country are in farming and hunting, pets are often seen as chattel or tools to use, and not to mourn when they pass. I find it grotesque myself, but there's no point in confronting generations worth of people discarding the way they feel and bottling it up, so we usually just keep it to ourselves, but this one was pretty tough. Seeing it happen is pretty awful, especially when the person who did the deed wouldn't even stop to apologise.

We've got some great memories of our time with her, and I think it'll be a little while before we bring another cat into the family, but you never know. For us we just want to make sure those fond memories stick around, that way she's never really gone entirely.
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Post by toctheyounger » 6 months ago

Dunharrow wrote:
6 months ago
Ulka wrote:
6 months ago
Im in the unfortunate boat that between aunts, uncles and cousins I have 93 people to invite and she has 75 in the same rung of family so its a tad more expensive.
Firstly, congrats.

Secondly, I totally get it. My wife and I have huge families. I think we had over 300 invited family members, and ended up with about 200ish who came (many are out of town, but they needed to be invited). With friends and coworkers, we ended up over 300 people.

It was expensive as %$#%. The amounts other people gave for their weddings in this thread just make me laugh. Yikes.

If you are having a big wedding like this, I recommend paying as much as you can as you go. We paid for a lot over the 8 months leading to our wedding, so when all was paid we actually had a nice sum of money to go to a downpayment on a house.
Yeah, getting in on this topic too, planning a wedding you really need to be pretty stalwart and not bow to peer pressure in terms of inviting the people you want there, and no more. Draw the line and stick to it - no hard feelings need to be had, you just need to let your families know where the line is drawn and that's that.

I have a fairly good sized family, but my wife's family is frankly enormous so we had to draw the line somewhere, and in the end with our good friends and the family we care about we ended up with about 75 people attending, which ended up costing us around 15k NZD. We broke our budget by 2-3k, but there were dress issues, and I think it would take an accountant managing your expenses not to top your budget at least a little on a wedding.

We definitely got the pressure - 'oh what about Auntie Gertrude and Uncle Aloysius?' 'Cousin Zeke?'. End of the day you really have to rationalise it and decide how much of an impact they've had on your life versus how much of an obligation it is to have them there, both for yourselves and them. A lot fo family members will turn up to a wedding just for the free meal and free booze. Would you buy them a meal and get them drunk if you went out with them? If the answer is no, they're out. You have to be realistic about these things.

Pro tip for keeping your expenses down btw - DO NOT MENTION THE WORD WEDDING to any service industries where at all possible. Seriously. If you have to tell them your cake is for a 40th and your dad likes white frosting, do it and don't spend a nanosecond feeling bad about it. As soon as the MCs, tailors, cooks and bakers know they're providing for a wedding, they'll slap on whatever surcharge they can.

Honestly, given how brutal rental and house prices and the cost of living is post-pandemic here in NZ, I'd have put forth a stronger case to just elope. We could've used that money for so much better things, and we did most of the stuff ourselves, right down to the venue. It was an awesome day (actually it was 7 years ago yesterday) and I'll never forget how much fun it was despite being the busiest day I've ever known, but....yeah, it costs a bomb even trying to pinch pennies. And we paid like 1/4 of what my cousin paid for her wedding to her ex-husband.
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Post by lyonhaert » 6 months ago

toctheyounger wrote:
6 months ago
Kind of helps to not feel like it's weird to mourn a pet.
Definitely not weird if you consider them family. I already know I'm going to be an absolute mess when my dog passes. She's almost 12 and is kinda living on borrowed time as it is since she's diabetic - keeping her blood sugar in check is a constant, methodical effort.
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