Work That Flavor Text!

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chetoos
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Post by chetoos » 3 years ago

Faceless Seeker 2BB
Creature - Zombie Horror [rare]
At the beginning of combat on your turn, target creature an opponent controls gets -2/-2 until end of turn. When that creature dies this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on faceless seeker
"Where did you hide?"
3/3

Next: "Well, I wouldn't stay underfoot"
The beast seems friendly toward me, can't say the same for other people though. - Vivien's Journal
A primal hunter against a Champion of the Wilds, with civilization as their battlefield.

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Vivien's Behemoth 5GG
Creature - Ox Beast Spirit
Vivien's Behemoth can't be blocked by creatures with power and/or toughness 2 or less.
Whenever Vivien's Behemoth deals combat damage to a player, that player shuffles each nonbasic land and Garruk planeswalker they control into its owner's library.
A primal hunter against a champion of the wilds, with civilization as their battlefield.
7/6

Next:
The best qualities a Rakdos jester can have are, in order, resistance to burns, resistance to stabbing, and a sense of humor.

"The power of water is vast. Only Thassa offers her mages an element that is abundant, cannot be cut or shattered, and can wear down the land itself." - Thrasios, triton hero
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

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chetoos
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Post by chetoos » 3 years ago

Flame Juggler 1RB
Art: an elemental juggling knives. The handles are on fire, passing up past feet on a tight rope above.
Creature - Elemental Rogue
When flame juggler enters the battlefield, if an opponent lost life this turn, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
As long as flame juggler has a +1/+1 counter on it, it has trample and can't block.
RB: Flame juggler gets +1/+0 until end of turn. If it's not your turn, it also gains first strike until end of turn.
The best qualities a Rakdos jester can have are, in order, resistance to burns, resistance to stabbing, and a sense of humor.
2/3

Next: "Where there's one goblin, there's bound to be dozens."

When the moon is full, watchers can spot a figure in the moon. It used to be a heron.

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JovialJovian
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Post by JovialJovian » 3 years ago

Shadow of the Moon (G/U)
Sorcery
Transform all permanents.
When the moon is full, watchers can spot a figure in the moon. It used to be a heron.

Next:
"Where there's one goblin, there's bound to be dozens."

"None shall remember you existence, begone." -Highlord Veron the Pitiless

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chetoos
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Post by chetoos » 3 years ago

Royal Dismissal 1WB
Sorcery
Exile target creature, and all permanents attached to it.
"None shall remember your existence, begone." -Highlord Veron the Pitiless

Next: "Where there's one goblin, there's bound to be dozens."

With one powerful blow, Surrak challenged centuries of Dragon rule.

When Thwak Hammergrip said he could eat 15 bombs, Smazh Wrenchfling called him a coward.

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JovialJovian
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Post by JovialJovian » 3 years ago

Goblin Infestation R
Sorcery
Buyback - Sacrifice a land.
Create a 1/1 red Goblin creature token for each land card in your graveyard.
"Where there's one goblin, there's bound to be dozens."

Next:
When Thwak Hammergrip said he could eat 15 bombs, Smazh Wrenchfling called him a coward.

The time of the angels is over, now is our time!

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chetoos
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Post by chetoos » 3 years ago

Internal Combustion 1RR
Art: Two goblin explosioneers, one is eating a bomb with a lit fuse, the other is laughing.
Sorcery (Un-uncommon)
Assemble a contraption. When you do, deal damage to any target equal to the number of contraptions on that sprocket.
When Thwak Hammergrip said he could eat 15 bombs, Smazh Wrenchfling called him a coward.

Next: "Oh no, you don't want to go to Thraben, far too safe there."

"At last, with all the information we've gathered, we finally know what our own organization name stands for."

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Files of S.N.E.A.K. 3U
Enchantment
At the beginning of your upkeep, target player mills two cards. If those cards share a watermark, repeat this process.
3U, Sacrifice Files of S.N.E.A.K.: Exile target spell that doesn't have a watermark.
"At last, with all the information we've gathered, we finally know what our own organization name stands for."

Next:
"I'll fight you from here to Ashmouth if I must!" - Rem Karolus, Slayer of Evil

Mary O'Kill was enraged beyond belief. How dare anyone say such things? Parasols would NEVER go out of fashion.
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

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dyd
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Post by dyd » 3 years ago

Call the Fashion Police 2b
Instant
Destroy target creature that doesn't carry any non-worn fashion accessories in its art. (Fashion accessories include purses and handbags, hand fans, parasols and umbrellas, wallets, canes, and ceremonial swords. Seriously, check wikipedia.)
Mary O'Kill was enraged beyond belief. How dare anyone say such things? Parasols would NEVER go out of fashion.



Next:
"In the few seconds you have to live, you will realize the magnificence of my plan and how futile your attempts to thwart my greatness have always been!"
—Baron Von Count

"Looks like it will be cloudy with a chance of pterodactyls."
— Vivien Reid


"Aunt Chandra, can I keep him?"

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Saurian Skies 2WW
Enchantment
Whenever you cast a creature spell, you gain 2 life. If that spell has flying, create a 2/2 white Dinosaur creature token with flying.
"Looks like it will be cloudy with a chance of pterodactyls." - Vivien Reid

Next:
"We are metathran. We were made for this - only this." - Agnate

"Death will come as the light of the sun broken up by clouds, touching many, ignoring a few." - Oracle en-Vec
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

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chetoos
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Post by chetoos » 3 years ago

Oracle's cleansing 2WW
Sorcery
Each player chooses a creature they control. Destroy all other creatures.
"Death will come as the light of the sun broken up by clouds, touching many, ignoring a few." - Oracle en-Vec

Next:
"In the few seconds you have to live, you will realize the magnificence of my plan and how futile your attempts to thwart my greatness have always been!"
—Baron Von Count

"This has been fun, Earl, but I'm afraid I must take my leave now."
--Acornelia, Fashionable Filcher

Imitation is the surest course to flammability
(As a counterpoint to Yung Peezy

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Walk of Shame B
Sorcery
Return target creature card from an opponent's graveyard to your hand.
"This has been fun, Earl, but I'm afraid I must take my leave now." - Acornelia, Fashionable Filcher

Next:
"You want me to solder my what into a what?" - Calvin Granderson, Order of the Widget researcher

Thinking of her fallen mistress with utter longing, Sigarda knew it was time for a second Cursemute.
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

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chetoos
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Post by chetoos » 3 years ago

You were much naughtier than I intended with that flavor text :P I was imagining her saying it as she stole something.

Upgrade Officer 2WW
Artifact Creature - Cyborg Knight
Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, you may assemble an artifact card from your hand as a contraption. It gains "Whenever this contraption is cranked, you may pay this card's mana cost reduced by up to 2. When you do, create a token that's a copy of this artifact."
"You want me to solder my what into a what?" - Calvin Granderson, Order of the Widget researcher
3/3

Heron's Serenity 2GG
Enchantment
Werewolves you control get +1/+1 and gain vigilance, and can't transform during your upkeep.
2G: Transform target werewolf you control.
Thinking of her fallen mistress with utter longing, Sigarda knew it was time for a second Cursemute.

Next:
With Lukka's triumphant return, Former General Kudro was now seeking revenge.

"You can't say 'what's the big idea' without inviting me!" -- The Big Idea

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Fury of the Burning Ears 4R
Enchantment
When Fury of the Burning Ears enters the battlefield, draw a card.
Each creature you control gets +1/+0 for each player who has said that creature's name this turn.
"You can't say 'what's the big idea' without inviting me!" - The Big Idea

Next:
Eventually, things got so clandestine that X was sending messages to Phoebe written in invisible ink, with invisible pens, on invisible paper.

"There has got to be a hole in Yawgmoth's plan," mused Urza. "I assumed you'd spoken to him about that yourself," replied Teferi with a slight smile.
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

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chetoos
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Post by chetoos » 3 years ago

S.N.E.A.K.ing Suspicion 2UB
Enchantment
If you're attacking with more than one creature, your opponents can't block all of your attacking creatures.
Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to a player, draw a card from that player's library.
Eventually, things got so clandestine that X was sending messages to Phoebe written in invisible ink, with invisible pens, on invisible paper.

Next:
"Sorin's back on Zendikar? Good, I was looking to add some decor." -- Nahiri, the lithomancer

"Let the good times roll." -- Pippa, duchess of dice

"Trust me, you'll feel much better afterward." -- Alastair Voldaren

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Boxcars' Blessing 4GU
Instant
Roll two six-sided dice. One of them becomes a green Die creature with power and toughness each equal to its result. Draw cards equal to the other result.
"Let the good times roll." - Pippa, duchess of dice

Next:

"We are metathran. We were made for this - only this." - Agnate

"No, my sword doesn't have a name. Would a name make it cut any deeper?" - Kamahl, pit fighter
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

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dyd
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Post by dyd » 3 years ago

Rend 1r
Instant
Rend deals X damage to any target, where X is 2 plus the number of creatures you control that have first strike or double strike.
"No, my sword doesn't have a name. Would a name make it cut any deeper?" - Kamahl, pit fighter


Next:

It's like looking for a haystack in a needle.

"Have you forgotten what you forgot to forget?" ‐ Jace, Vryn's Smugness

"In case you are wondering: no, it didn't have horns and claws a minute ago." - Vivien Reid

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Ginuqu
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Post by Ginuqu » 3 years ago

Investigatory Stakeout
Enchantment
: Choose one: You may reveal target face-down card, or you may reveal target card in an opponent's hand, or you may reveal the top card of target opponent's library.
3uu, Sacrifice Investigatory Stakeout: Exile the last card revealed by Investigatory Stakeout.
"Have you forgotten what you forgot to forget?" - Jace, Vryn's Smugness

Next:
"Squirrels have never made for particularly well-behaved pets, but this is ridiculous." - Seton
or
They never falter or hesitate when the order comes, no matter how much dust has settled.

(I hope I did this right!)
sorta mad at magic right now

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Fury in Krosa 1G
Enchantment
Threshold - As long as seven or more cards are in your graveyard, Fury in Krosa has "Squirrels you control get +2/+2 and have trample."
"Squirrels have never made for particularly well-behaved pets, but this is ridiculous." - Seton

Next:
"The power of water is vast. Only Thassa offers her mages an element that is abundant, cannot be cut or shattered, and can wear down the land itself." - Thrasios, triton hero

"At last! A rock to beat even OTHER rocks!" - Toggo, goblin weaponsmith
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

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Ginuqu
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Post by Ginuqu » 3 years ago

Diamond Drumstick
Artifact (U)
or , , Sacrifice an artifact: Each other artifact you control deals 1 damage to each creature without flying.
"At last! A rock to beat even OTHER rocks!" - Toggo, goblin weaponsmith

how about:
"Do not mourn for me. This is my destiny." - Atogatog
There's no such thing as an emergency so dire that it cancels breakfast.
sorta mad at magic right now

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dyd
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Post by dyd » 3 years ago

Lucullian Banquet xgw
Sorcery
If an opponent has more life than you, gain X life.
If an opponent controls more permanents than you, create X Food tokens.
There's no such thing as an emergency so dire that it cancels breakfast.

And now:
- As soon as impossible.
- "Yes, please."
- "BURP"

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 3 years ago

Lost Moment 2U
Instant
Split second
Counter target instant spell or spell with flash.
Buyback 4
As soon as impossible.

Next:
"There has got to be a flaw in Yawgmoth's thinking," mused Urza. "I assumed you'd spoken to him about that yourself," replied Teferi with a slight smile.

"I may not know much - " began Squee, and Ertai cut him off. "Wiser words were never spoken."
Psst, check the second page of Custom Card Contests & Games! Because of the daily contests, a lot of games fall down to there.

The greatest (fake) pro wrestling on the internet - Collaborative Create-A-Booster - My random creations (updated regularly)

Important Facts: Colorless is not a color, Wastes is not a land type, Changeling is not a creature type

User avatar
dyd
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Post by dyd » 3 years ago

Blissful Ignorance b
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Totem armor
Your maximum hand size is zero.
"I may not know much - " began Squee, and Ertai cut him off. "Wiser words were never spoken."


Next:

"You and what army?"

"Only then, you will be able to gaze upon the face of Truth."
Song of All, canto 1008

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lookingupanddown
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Post by lookingupanddown » 3 years ago

Sudden Reinforcements 2RW
Instant
Kicker 1W
Cast Sudden Reinforcements only if you control exactly one creature.
Create X 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens, where X is the number of creatures target player controls. If Sudden Reinforcements wasn't kicked, exile all tokens made this way at the beginning of your next end step.
"You and what army?"

Voice of Harmony 2WW
Creature - Angel
Flying, protection from multicolored
"Only then, you will be able to gaze upon the face of Truth."
—Song of All, canto 1008

2/2

"Say that again, but slowly."

"The old ones say Day is a woman, who works only while it is light."
—"Love Song of Night and Day"

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Candlemane
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Post by Candlemane » 3 years ago

Interrupt UR
Instant
Counter target non-creature spell. If a spell is counter this way, exile that spell with 1 time counter one it. The spell gains suspend.
"Say that again, but slowly"

Solar Zenith 2W
Enchantment - Aura
Whenever enchanted permanent attacks, search your library for plains card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Shuffle you library.
"The Old Ones say Day is a woman, who works only while it is light."



"Some say I destroy souls. I say it's pest control."

The hard bit was getting the damned creature to let it go.
Paper EDH

Tameshi, Reality Architect
Sapling of Colfenor
Feather the Redeemed
Lynde, Cheerful Tormentor
Thalia and Gitrog
Xryis, the Writhing Storm

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