New Challenge Every Day - January 9th: Thicc

[void_nothing]

Today's Challenge:
Thicc

.::To Enter::.
In a single post:

• Name exactly two other players to vote for their entries for the previous challenge. (In the event that there are two or fewer entries that you are allowed to vote for, you may vote for only one.)

• Make a card that fits the current challenge.

• Include an "If I Win" (IIW) for tomorrow's challenge if you win.

Each day we use the challenge of the previous day's winner. In the case of a tie, we'll use the IIW of the tied player who has least overall points. In case of a further tie, the IIW of the earlier poster will be used.

.::Scoring::.

JovialJovian 23 (+5)
slimytrout 23 (+5)
Ink-Treader 15 (+2)
dyd 14 (+1)
void_nothing 14 (+3)
netn10 13 (+3)
OneAndOnly 10
Riria 10 (+1)
MonoRedMage 4
kwanyeegor-ii 1
Pygyzy 1 (+0)

.::Note of the Day::.

.::Yesterday's Submissions::.
Ravnica guild mechanics on monocolor cards

Votes: netn10, slimytrout

Survival Instinct 1g
Sorcery
Target creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target creature you don't control.
Overload 4ggg (You may cast this spell for its overload cost. If you do, change its text by replacing all instances of 'target' with 'each'.)

IIW: same CMC matters

votes:
netn10 (though I'm not certain the IV ability works as you intend)
Ink-Treader (though you forgot an IIW)

Niblis of the Frozen Soul 4W
Snow Creature - Spirit
Flying, vigilance
Bloodrush WW, Discard Niblis of Frozen Souls: Target attacking creature gets -3/-3 and loses flying until end of turn and doesn't untap during it's controller's next untap step.
As the spirit enters you, the blood freezes in your veins.
3/3

IIW: Really big shoes

Ah... I did indeed forget an IIW. Some things never change.

Vote: JovialJovian, slimytrout

Industrial Sabotage 1RR
Sorcery (U)
Choose one —
-Destroy target artifact
-Tap target land. It doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
Cipher (Then you may exile this spell card encoded on a creature you control. Whenever that creature deals combat damage to a player, its controller may cast a copy of the encoded card without paying its mana cost.)

IIW: C

Votes: JovialJovian, slimytrout

Nuclear Chain Reaction R
Instant (MR)
Replicate 3R (When you cast this spell, copy it for each time you paid its replicate cost. You may choose new targets for the copies.)
Nuclear Chain Reaction deals 1 damage to any target, then it deals damage to that same target equal to all damage dealt by cards named Nuclear Chain Reaction this turn.
"2, 6, 14, 30, 62... Boss, I think we should evacuate the building" - Izzet Electromancer

IIW: Trinity

Votes: dyd, Ink-Treader

Notorious Missions XBBB
Sorcery (R)
Surveil X, then each of up to two target creatures each gets -1/-1 until end of turn for each card in your graveyard.

IIW: White or black coin flipping

void_nothing, Riria

Fructoplasm 1G
Creature - Ooze (U)
Graft 1 (This creature enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter on it. Whenever another creature enters the battlefield, you may move a +1/+1 counter from this creature onto it.)
1G: Adapt 1 (If this creature has no +1/+1 counters on it, put a +1/+1 counter on it.)
1/1

IIW: "As though it didn't have defender"

Votes: void_nothing, JoviaJovian

Runed Urn 1U
Artifact (Uncommon)
Afterlife 2
A fragile container for a those who cannot let go.

IIW: One line card.

Votes: JovialJovian, slimytrout
.

Votes - JovialJovian, slimytrout

Burning-Tree Saboteur R
Creature - Goblin Rogue {U}
Riot
T: Destroy target colorless nonland permanent with converted mana cost equal to or less than Burning-Tree Saboteur's toughness.
0/1

IIW - "Whenever an opponent"

netn10 void_nothing

[dyd]

Votes: Riria (great use of flavor text to make complicate things much easier), netn10

Gourmet Flamequeen 3r
Creature - Elemental Wizard
At the beginning of each end step, if a player was dealt noncombat damage this turn, create a Food token.
Whenever you sacrifice a Food, Gourmet Flamequeen deals 1 damage to any target.
Generous shapes are highly regarded among the flamekin. As they say: the softer the form, the brighter the flame.
3/3

IIW: spinach

[Ink-Treader]

Vote: JovialJovian, netn10

Veriol, Hoarder of Beauties 3BR
Legendary Creature - Ogre Noble (R)
When Veriol enters the battlefield, create a 4/4 white Angel creature token with flying.
Whenever a creature you don't control deals combat damage to another creature you control, you may have Veriol fight the first creature.
"His vanity is incomprehensible, considering his... form, but he does value true beauty, I suppose."
-Bital, art critic
2/6

[OneAndOnly]

Votes: Riria, Ink-Treader
.
Increase Mass -- 2W
Enchantment - Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets -X/+X, where X is its power.
.
IIW: Pets and their owners

[netn10]

Votes: Ink-Treader, slimytrout

Endless Broodmother 12GG
This spell cost 1 less to cast and to unearth for each creature card in your graveyard.
Trample, haste
Protection from nongreen and from nonblack.
Unearth 14GG
20/20

IIW: Unearth

[Riria]

Votes: dyd, slimytrout
@dyd: Haha thank you! I was afraid my intent there might've been too blatant for the flavor text to also be funny, tbh. (aka explaining the joke ruins the joke)

Gourmet Croaker BB
Creature - Frog (R)
Whenever a nontoken creature dies or Gourmet Croaker deals combat damage to a player, put a +1/+1 counter on it.
Gourmet Croaker's power is halved (rounded down) as long as it has three or more +1/+1 counters on it.
Behold the massive monster of questionable agility.
1/1

IIW: Card draw replacement effects

[JovialJovian]

votes: dyd, Riria
HM: netn10 (The simplicity really appeals to me, I was right on the edge of giving it to you this time, but I guess the flashiness won me over.)

Padded Trousers W
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gets +0/+3.
You may exert equipped creature as it attacks. If you do, tap target creature defending player controls.
Equip creature with toughness X or less X
For when you don't got it.

IIW: Pathetic

[slimytrout]

void_nothing, netn10
hm: Riria (flavor text is very clever, but card is still pretty math-y)

Stoneskin 1W
Enchantment - Aura (U)
Enchant creature
Flash
Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 and has absorb 1. (If a source would deal damage to enchanted creature, prevent 1 of that damage.)

IIW: ___ Elemental

[kwanyeegor-ii]

riria netn10

[void_nothing]

Votes: Ink-Treader, slimytrout

Knollridge Matron 3WW
Creature - Giant Wizard (R)
First strike, lifelink
Whenever you gain life, other creatures you control get +0/+1 until end of turn for each 1 life you gained.
T, Sacrifice a Mountain and another creature: Add X R, where X is that creature's toughness.
3/8

IIW: Bird, Cat, or Dog tribal