December CCL, Round 2: Empires of Jamuraa

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void_nothing
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Post by void_nothing » 4 years ago

CCL December Signups/Round 2

"Empires of Jamuraa"


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Suq'Ata Firewalker, taken from EchoMTG, by David O'Connor and Wizards of the Coast
Welcome to the Card Creation League! Everyone is free to participate in either or both of the first two rounds. Come join us!

Theme

It's Deep Magic Lore Month here in the CCL and we'll be treating one of my favorite parts of old-school Magic lore in this round - the three major states of northwest Jamuraa at the center of the Mirage Block story, Femeref, Suq'Ata, and Zhalfir (the last of which sadly is gone in the modern era).

Challenge
Design a card that's a creature with "Femeref", "Suq'Ata", or "Zhalfir" in its name.
Clarifications
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  • Make sure to include a rarity.
  • If you're not familiar with the topic of the round, please consult these articles on Femeref, Suq'Ata, and Zhalfir, as well as searching a card database for cards with those words in their names.
  • The demonym for Femeref is "Femeref" and for Suq'Ata is "Suq'Ata" - for Zhalfir it's "Zhalfirin" so using that form of the word counts towards the challenge.
Anyone can enter this second round! Your submissions are due Monday, December 16th, 23:59 EST.

Special note: Due to this being a busy month for many people in terms of traveling, seeing family, working overtime, school/university finals, et cetera, a lot of deadlines have been extended. In this case I am explicitly planning to not begin the final round until the beginning of January!
Schedule
  • Round 1 — Open to Everyone (December 1st–8th)
  • Round 2 — Open to Everyone (December 9th–16th)
  • Rounds 1 and 2 Critiques (Due December 19th)
  • Top 8 — Open to top 8 finishers (December 20th–23rd)
  • Top 8 Critiques (Due December 26th)
  • Top 4 — Open to top 4 finishers (December 27th–30th)
  • Top 4 Critiques (Due January 2nd)
  • Final (January, winner determined by public poll)
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bravelion83
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Post by bravelion83 » 4 years ago

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bravelion83 wrote:
4 years ago
EDIT: Wait! Femeref is the home of Kwende! That's someone I know!
Character and flavor text from Return to Dominaria, Episode 7 by Martha Wells. The card is meant to synergize with Kwende's one.
Subira, Femeref Trader 2WWW
Legendary Creature — Human (R)
First strike, vigilance
Other creatures you control get +1/+0 and have first strike.
WW, T: Each player draws a card.
"I've been a fool! He's lied to me all along."
—Subira to Teferi about Kwende

3/3
Last edited by bravelion83 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by slimytrout » 4 years ago

Intende, Scion of Zhalfir 2WW
Legendary Creature - Human Noble (R)
Vigilance, Lifelink
Whenever Intende, Scion of Zhalfir becomes the target of a spell, exile any number of historic permanents you control, then return those cards to the battlefield under their owner's control.
"The stories are all I have left of my people. I will not allow them to be lost."
3/3
Last edited by slimytrout 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.

netn10
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Post by netn10 » 4 years ago

Zhalfirin Sandsifters 3W
Creature - Human Wizard (Rare)
T, Sacrifice a Plains or a Desert: Create two treasures and draw a card.
"We are from Zhalfir, we were taught from young age to find beauty where there is none and to create hope where it is long gone."
2/4

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Icarii
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Post by Icarii » 4 years ago

Femeref Swiftshot 1WG
Creature - Human Archer (U)
Flash
As long as its not your turn, Femeref Swiftshot has haste.
T: Femeref Swiftshot deals 2 damage to target attacking or blocking creature.
2/2

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Post by kwanyeegor-ii » 4 years ago

Suq'Ata Mercenaries 1RR
Creature--Human Mercenary (Uncommon)
First strike
As Suq'Ata Mercenaries enters the battlefield, an opponent of your choice gains control of it
Suq'Ata Mercenaries attacks a player each combat if able
When Suq'Ata Mercenaries deals combat damage to its owner, that player gains control of it
4/4
Last edited by kwanyeegor-ii 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.
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Post by Ryder » 4 years ago

Jhardir, Zhalfirin Champion 1WW
Legendary Creature — Human (R)
Flanking (Whenever a creature without flanking blocks this creature, the blocking creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.)
1W: Jhardir, Zhalfirin Champion gains flanking until end of turn. (Each instance of flanking triggers separately.)
Where others go, he comes from. What others chase, he's left behind. How others face him, he decides.
2/3

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Post by Subject16 » 4 years ago

Suq'Ata Outriders 2WW
Creature — Human Knight (Mythic)
First strike
WW: Suq'Ata Outriders phases out. (While it's phased out, it's treated as though it doesn't exist. It phases in before you untap during your untap step.)
When Suq'Ata Outriders phases in, create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token.
"We are not lost. We choose to not be found."
4/4

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Post by RaikouRider » 4 years ago

Femeref Treasurer 2WU
Creature - Human Noble {R}
Whenever another nonartifact creature enters the battlefield under your control, create a Treasure token.
1, Sacrifice two Treasures: Draw a card.
2/4

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Post by Ink-Treader » 4 years ago

Suq'Ata Raiders 1RG
Creature - Human Warrior (U)
Trample
Whenever Suq'Ata Raiders deal combat damage to a player, gain control of target land they control until end of turn. Untap it. Until end of turn, you can't sacrifice that land to pay the costs of spells or abilities.
It was base greed that led Suq'Ata to annex the Ekundu Mountains.
3/3
Last edited by Ink-Treader 4 years ago, edited 4 times in total.

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Post by Henlock » 4 years ago

Femeref Trapper wg
Creature - Human Scout(u)
Hexproof
Whenever you cast an enchantment spell, you may tap target creature.
2/1

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Post by barbecube » 4 years ago

Tambika, Femeref Sun Priest 3W
Legendary Creature — Human Cleric (R)
Whenever you cast a creature or enchantment spell, create a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying.
As long as you control at least three Spirits, creatures you control have lifelink.
"Let us return where our souls reside / The golden house / The house of light."
— Femeref prayer

2/3
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Post by marioguy3 » 4 years ago

Femeref Boring
Legendary Creature - Human Cephalid (Mythic Rare)
11/11
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Post by void_nothing » 4 years ago

Round is closed. Please critique the six contestants above you on this list, looping to the bottom as necessary.

bravelion83
slimytrout
netn10
Icarii
kwanyeegor-ii
Ryder
Subject16
RaikouRider
Ink-Treader
Henlock
barbecube
marioguy3
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Post by kwanyeegor-ii » 4 years ago

bravelion83 - abilities here are flavorful but they feel stapled together, card is not too cohesive, looks strong and fun though

slimytrout - pretty nice, feels right out of the dominaria set, and I def wanna play an artifact blink deck w/ this lol

netn10 - Hmm this is a great card and super flavorful but it feels more like a red card than a white card

Icarii - Really nice use of flash and haste together, I think this is a really cool variant on the usual archer card, good job!

barbecube - Nice build around card thats actually really easy to build around... lifelink is a powerful ability tho, might get out of hand

marioguy3 - obviously this is a joke entry, not even gonna say anything about it then

1. Icarii
2. slimytrout
3. netn10

hm to bravelion
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Post by slimytrout » 4 years ago

bravelion83
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Subira, Femeref Trader: Seems a little disorganized -- what's the connection between having vigilance, giving first strike, and group draw?
RaikouRider
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Femeref Treasurer: Could have used some flavor text, but otherwise I really like it - great fit between flavor, mechanics and lore.
Ink-Treader
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Suq'Ata Raiders: Another great fit with the lore. While I understand the reason for the no-sacrifice clause, it makes the card a lot less elegant, so I wonder if there isn't a cleaner way to do it.
Henlock
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Femeref Trapper: Kinda seems like just a version of D'Avenant Trapper that has hexproof and triggers off of enchantments instead of historic cards, so not that exciting. Also not totally sure what ties Femeref to enchantments mechanically.
barbecube
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Tambika, Femeref Sun Priest: I really like the deep cut of the Femeref attachment to the sun. The mechanics of the card itself are a little less exciting, but nothing particularly wrong with it.
marioguy3
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Femeref Boring: Not sure if this is meant to be a joke, a passive-aggressive dig, or somewhere in between, but whatever it is I'm not a fan.
T3
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1. RaikouRider
2. Ink-Treader
3. barbecube

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Post by Ink-Treader » 4 years ago

And done
netn10
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Neat card. Probably stronger than I think it is, but the flavor's nice.
Icarii
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Nice application of flash and haste together.
kwanyeegor-ii
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Odd roundabout drawback, but not very harsh even in multiplayer.
Ryder
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Feels like it should be a knight. Could lead to powerful blowouts with some way to force multiple blockers.
Subject16
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Definitely strong, and probably worthy of mythic in terms of power, but it doesn't feel mythic.
RaikouRider
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Seems solid. A lot of fun with flicker, which is conveniently focused in those colors.
Top 3
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1. RaikouRider
2. netn10
3. Icarii
Last edited by Ink-Treader 4 years ago, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by barbecube » 4 years ago

Crits
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kwanyeegor-ii:I like the mercenary mechanics you made here. Doesn't feel meaningfully Suq'ata.

Ryder: This card is cool but I don't really foresee a return of flanking in modern-day MTG.

Subject16: Interesting use of phasing. I'm not sure this needs to be a mythic; could be rare.

RaikouRider: This seems solid mechanically. I'm not getting Femeref flavor.

Ink-Treader: I know the 'can't sacrifice' text is really important to the balance of a card like this, but it really hurts the appeal of the card, especially to Johnnies with a fondness for blowing up lands.

Henlock: This is a surprising enchantress!
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1. Subject16
2. Henlock
3. Ryder
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Post by Subject16 » 4 years ago

bravelion83
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Hey it's Teferi's wife! Almost a shame she doesn't really interact with any teferi cards in any obvious way, but I do like that she has synergies with the mentioned Kwende, Pride of Femeref who also appears in their story. I like the "everyone draws" idea, but it could have done with a little tweak to make her seem more trader-y
slimytrout
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The way Intende is worded makes her (I imagine a her?) basically impossible to kill with spot removal. It also makes using planeswalkers much more powerful (and although that's a big power boost it might be what white could need.) Blinking is a very strong mechanic and part of the reason why Brago is such a popular commander is the repeatability of that effect. I think that being able to blink every single historic card you have (which would include mana rocks, Sagas, Intende herself, ETB legendaries like Djeru or Anafenza) makes for a card which is much much more powerful than Feather, a similarly printed card. I think limiting the blinking to only one historic permanent at a time helps minimize the abusiveness whilst still maintaining an appropriate power level.
netn10
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To me this would feel like a card from New Zhalfire/Zhalfir post-phasing, living off the wasteland of where their empire used to be. Turning lands into a more expendable resource feels more red to me than it does white, but I think sifting through the desert fits white's flavor more as it falls into a similar vein as archaeology. I think the card draw might be a bit too much of an advantage, but I think it's a step in the right direction for what white needs to catch up to the other colors.
Icarii
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Green and white are the colors most associated with Femeref, and so is archery. The desing is definitely interesting, but too powerful for an uncommon to deal 2 damage for no mana investment. Also seeing an archer without reach is very dissapointing.
kwanyeegor-ii
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I find it interesting that it has to attack players instead of planeswalkers, but I see why it matters with the second ability. I appreciate multiplayer politics, and a three mana 4/4 first striker is certainly a great way to pilot a group slug type deck. Now as to whether it fits with the Suq'Ata, I don't think it does. It is a nation of trading and royalty, not mercenaries. And although it does have assassin guilds, they seem to be relying on subterfuge and poison which feels like a more Dimir inclination.
Ryder
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Flanking feels very Jamuraan. I feel like this is missing a Knight subtype, but I like the idea behind multiple instances of flanking overlapping. Although you do have to do it pre-blockers to have any kind of impact which makes it a poor use of mana when your opponent decides to just not block.
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1: Bravelion83
2: Slimytrout
3: netn10

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Post by bravelion83 » 4 years ago

Done.
Subject16
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Subject16 wrote:
4 years ago
Suq'Ata Outriders 2WW
Creature — Human Knight (Mythic)
First strike
WW: Suq'Ata Outriders phases out. (While it's phased out, it's treated as though it doesn't exist. It phases in before you untap during your untap step.)
When Suq'Ata Outriders phases in, create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token.
"We are not lost. We choose to not be found."
4/4
Ok, so essentially repeatable pseudo-flickering plus a token for two mana. Feels a bit pushed to me, but hey, it probably is, seeing that it's a mythic. Not bad overall.
RaikouRider
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RaikouRider wrote:
4 years ago
Femeref Treasurer 2WU
Creature - Human Noble {R}
Whenever another nonartifact creature enters the battlefield under your control, create a Treasure token.
1, Sacrifice two Treasures: Draw a card.
2/4
P/T don't need to be bolded. Reminder text for Treasures would certainly be there. I would have liked to see some flavor text here, there is certainly room for it. I really like the idea behind this card, less the execution.
Ink-Treader
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Ink-Treader wrote:
4 years ago
Suq'Ata Raiders 1RG
Creature - Human Warrior (U)
Trample
Whenever Suq'Ata Raiders deal combat damage to a player, gain control of target land they control until end of turn. Untap it. Until end of turn, you can't sacrifice that land to pay the costs of spells or abilities.
It was base greed that led Suq'Ata to annex the Ekundu Mountains.
3/3
Can't say this looks the maximum of fun. At least I will usually get back my land, thankfully. I don't really like cards that mess up with lands, but it's just me. I'm sure there are other players who'd love to play with this card. It's just not for me.
Henlock
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Henlock wrote:
4 years ago
Femeref Trapper wg
Creature - Human Scout(u)
Hexproof
Whenever you cast an enchantment spell, you may tap target creature.
2/1
Ok, first place assigned. Really, I have nothing to say about this card except: I love it! Take my first place, and let's move on.
barbecube
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barbecube wrote:
4 years ago
Tambika, Femeref Sun Priest 3W
Legendary Creature — Human Cleric (R)
Whenever you cast a creature or enchantment spell, create a 1/1 white Spirit creature token with flying.
As long as you control at least three Spirits, creatures you control have lifelink.
"Let us return where our souls reside / The golden house / The house of light."
— Femeref prayer

2/3
Ok, no problems with this card either, it's just slightly less elegant than the previous one, but I have absolutely nothing to say about this either.
marioguy3
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marioguy3 wrote:
4 years ago
Femeref Boring
Legendary Creature - Human Cephalid (Mythic Rare)
11/11
I love when a card critiques itself! :) Seriously, I don't even understand why posting this. Yes, it's a vanilla combination never done before iirc, but the name promises something and the card perfectly delivers! :)
Top 3

1st place: Henlock
2nd place: barbecube
3rd place: Subject16
Author of the MCC Guidelines and FAQ. | For my projects, including Jeff Lionheart, my murder mystery story "One pierced heart, two mindful horns", and republished articles from my series "The Lion's Lair", see Leo's content index (Last updated on March 24th 2024 - Added OPHTMH Episode 4).
After I'm done republishing my articles I want to reprise the series focusing it more on editing, wording, and templating. Suggest potential future article topics here.
My CCCG Resume (Updated on February 27th 2024)
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MCC - Winner (9): Oct 2014, Apr Nov 2017, Jan 2018, Apr Jun 2019, Jan Mar 2022, Apr 2023 || Host (30): Dec 2014, Apr Jul Aug Dec 2015, Mar Jul Aug Oct 2016, Feb Jul 2017, Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last on MTGS), Aug 2019 (first on MTGN) Oct 2019, Jan Jun 2020 Apr Oct 2021, Feb May Sep Dec 2022, Mar Jun Sep Dec 2023, Mar 2024 || Judge (58): every month from Nov 2014 to Nov 2016 except Oct 2015, every month from Feb to Jul 2017 except Apr 2017, then Oct 2017, May Jun Nov 2018, Feb Jul 2019 (last on MTGS), every month from Aug 2019 (first on MTGN) to Feb 2020, May Jun 2020, Mar Apr Sep Oct 2021, Feb May Sep Dec 2022, Mar May Jun Sep Dec 2023, Jan Mar 2024
CCL - Winner (4): Jul 2016 (tied with Flatline), May 2017, Jul 2019 (last on MTGS), Jun 2021 (tied with slimytrout) || Host (5): Feb 2015, Mar Apr May Jun 2016
DCC - Winner (3): Mar 2015 (tied with Piar), Feb Apr 2022 || Host (12): May Oct 2015, Jan 2016, Jun Sep Dec 2021, Mar Jun Sep Dec 2022, Mar Jun 2023

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Ryder
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Post by Ryder » 4 years ago

I failed this round, I intentionally didn't design a modern card... But you guys did great!
bravelion83
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While the card itself is solid, I just don't see those mechanics blending together well enough. The flavor text doesn't actually provide anything about Subira...
slimytrout
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Really cool effect that unfortunately ends up quite overpowered in that it makes Intende immune to targeted removal.
netn10
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Generting Treasures for the sacrificed land seems inelegant. Sandsifters mitigates its drawback far too efficiently for my taste. It even provides acceleration in White, which is bad. Other than that, nice card.
Icarii
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Deftly done with the surprise archer. Perfect card, congrats.
kwanyeegor-ii
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Great creativity! In practice you have to take 4 damage to get the Mercenaries on your side, it happens technically on the same turn you cast it so there is no tempo loss.... No way to efficiently cheat this... Yes, quite awesome.
marioguy3 just stole a crit slot from others... so quick note for barbecube:
barbecube
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It woud be an excellent card if it did not count creatures, this way it feels slightly overdone.
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Post by Icarii » 4 years ago

SPOILER
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bravelion83|: An odd mash of abilities. I do like seeing the symetrical draw on white. Feels old with a dash of new.
slimytrout: Seems really combo-y. Pretty powerful besides. Would require testing, but I like this kind of protection for white.
netn10: This is an interesting blend of old and new effects. It's a nice homage in that sense. Back then this might be a white card, but unlikely today.
Henlock: Super simple, elegant design. All the more reason for flavor text! Not very unique however.
barbecube: Solid design. Feels pretty strong. Doesn't feel fresh.
marioguy3: Boring entry is boring.
1: slimytrout
2: netn10
3: bravelion83

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Post by Henlock » 4 years ago

Inktreader: Reminds me of Wellspring and might have as well been on Selesnya colors at the time. The nonsacrifice clause is really newded for balance here

RaikouRaider: Remonds me a bit of savvy hunter but fitted for Azorius. Solid design, only a bit lacking of that oldschool feel.

Subject16: Those who have had the chance to play Rainbow Efreet back in the days will immediatly see the power of phasing-on-demand. The stats are very aggressive and the ability to create tokens sum up to a very powerful creature. Love the use of phasing here.

Ryder; This is sadly too similar to Knight of Valor.

kwanyegor: I like how this plays. It can be a very good political instrument in multiplayer and quite fair in 1vs1. I like it.

Icari: Very solid out-of-nowhere archer that makes use of flash and haste very nicely.

I have to think this one a bit. Lots of cool stuff.

1. Subject16.
2. Inktreader
3. Icari
HM: Kwanyegor

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Post by marioguy3 » 4 years ago

Ryder (Jhardir, Zhalfirin Champion) This card would ideally be printed as an Orzhov type card as it specializes in -1/-1 and subsequent killing of creatures in combat.

Subject16 (Suq'Ata Outriders): Using of phasing to draw benefits is a neat little idea.

RaikouRider (Femeref Treasurer) A bit on the powerful side. This card gets bonkers with token generators.

Ink-Treader: (Suq'Ata Raiders): An intriguing card that promises to do something. It's a card that ramps when it hits. And one that's not been designed before. Gets better in multiples. Cool card.

Henlock: (Femeref Trapper): A solid, but not complex creature that fits the theme of the contest.

barbecube (Tambika, Femeref Sun Priest): This creature will get out of hand really quickly if you are able to untap with Tambika in play. This is a solid design, however.

3rd place: Subject16
2nd place: Ink-Treader
1st place: Henlock
The summer is hot. The sum of sun and hot equals summer.

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Post by RaikouRider » 4 years ago

A bit short on time/busy this week due to hosting for holidays so I can only do top3's sorry guys

1) Icarii
2) Ryder
3) barbecube

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