Grammar Check

Legend
Aethernaut
Posts: 1639
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Eternity

Post by Legend » 2 years ago

Is the ability worded correctly? I'm not sure if or where exactly to reference the discarded card as "the card" vs "its". TYIA

Card Name (Rarity)
3{G/U}R
Creature - Type
3/3
Haste
Whenever ~ attacks or blocks, draw a card, then discard a card. If a creature card is discarded this way, ~ gains its keyword abilities and gets +X/+Y until end of turn, where X is the card's power and Y is its toughness.
“Comboing in Commander is like dunking on a seven foot hoop.” – Dana Roach

“Making a deck that other people want to play against – that’s Commander.” – Gavin Duggan

"I want my brain to win games, not my cards." – Sheldon Menery

user_938036
Posts: 338
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 21
Pronoun: he / him

Post by user_938036 » 2 years ago

Switch the place of "its" and "the card's". Though it will be "that card's".

"Gains that card's keyword abilities" "X is its power and Y is its toughness"

Possibly add an "all of" or "each of" before "that card's keyword abilities"

Legend
Aethernaut
Posts: 1639
Joined: 4 years ago
Pronoun: he / him
Location: Eternity

Post by Legend » 2 years ago

Like this?

Whenever ~ attacks or blocks, draw a card, then discard a card. If a creature card is discarded this way, ~ gains that card's keyword abilities and gets +X/+Y until end of turn, where X is its power and Y is its toughness.
“Comboing in Commander is like dunking on a seven foot hoop.” – Dana Roach

“Making a deck that other people want to play against – that’s Commander.” – Gavin Duggan

"I want my brain to win games, not my cards." – Sheldon Menery

user_938036
Posts: 338
Joined: 4 years ago
Answers: 21
Pronoun: he / him

Post by user_938036 » 2 years ago

Yes, because you mention ~ you have to establish what specifically you are talking about so you use "that card's" then you can refer back to it as the most recent noun with "its".

Looking over it, it almost certainly needs either all of or each of before keyword abilities.

"Whenever ~ attacks or blocks, draw a card, then discard a card. If a creature card is discarded this way, ~ gains each of that card's keyword abilities and gets +X/+Y until end of turn, where X is its power and Y is its toughness."

Typing it out each sounds better than all.

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