NEXUS FLAMINGO ☆ Exclusively For Custom Card Connoisseurs and Gnomes

[spacemonaut]

Stopwatch U
Artifact (C)
U, T, Sacrifice Stopwatch: Target tapped creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
"The latest in personal protection and time dilation!"


IIW: Alter-egos from another timeline/multiverse

[NinjaCaterpie]

Read 'Em 3U
Sorcery (U)
Scry 2, then draw up to two cards.
Fuse

//

Weep 1B
Sorcery (U)
Mill cards until you mill a nonland card. Each opponent loses life equal to that card's mana value.
Fuse

IIW: Japan

[chetoos]

Someone judge!

[Megiddo]

looks like I'll have to do it... check back soon

[Megiddo]

quick one today to keep things moving.

Skeletons in the Closet 1bb
Enchantment - Eerie Aura (R)
Enchant land
Haunt land
Enchanted land has "T: Create a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token."
Haunted land has "T: Create a 1/1 black Skeleton creature token."
"Ok, I believe you."

IIW: New silverborder mechanics

Eerie as a new type -- what does it mean? Haunt seems like it probably wouldn't come up often.

Unclog the Toilet
2bg
Sorcery (C)
Destroy target artifact, creature, or enchantment. If an artifact or enchantment was put into a graveyard this way, its controller creates an X/X black and green Ooze creature token, where X is that permanent's mana value.
"EEEEWWWW!!"

IIW: Video Games

i hope this isn't happening every day for you! I feel like there's something here, but I'm not sure you've quite nailed it.

Landscaping 3G
Sorcery (C)
Search your library for a Forest, Island, Mountain, Plains, Swamp, or Gate card and put it onto the battlefield tapped.

Unlock the Door 1U
Sorcery (C)
Until end of turn, target creature with power 3 or less becomes unblockable as long as the defending player controls a nonbasic land.

Mow the Lawn B
Instant (C)
Target green or white creature gets -2/-1 until end of turn.

Go Shopping 2U
Sorcery (C)
Scry 3, then draw a card.

IIW: Universes Beyond: Fallout.

Unlock the door, get on the floor,
Cute cards, nothing especially novel. all of them probably want a balance pass.

I'm walkin' here! W
Instant (U)
Destroy target Vehicle that's attacking or blocking.
Overload 4W

IIW: Alter-egos from another timeline/multiverse

the overload here has some interesting flavor implications. full-road car pileup?

Valet Service 1W
Enchantment {R}
When Valet Service enters the battlefield, scry 2.
Vehicles' crew abilities cost an additional "Tap an untapped creature you control" to activate.

IIW: scams and swindles

the real scam is this entry

Historic Horizons spoiler warning

Show

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Daily Grind
Sorcery (U)
Target opponent reveals their hand. You choose a creature card from it. It perpetually gets -1/-1 and gains "Whenever this creature attacks, exert it."

IIW: KEKW

we do NOT have enough time to cover this one today.

Gardening Service 1G
Sorcery
Seek a land card. You gain 3 life.

IIW: A godzilla style treatment of cards from the upcoming innistrad sets.

make this cost G and we can talk.

Equestrian Lessons 1WW
Sorcery (U)
Search your library for a Horse, Pegasus, or Unicorn card with converted mana cost 3 or less and put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle. That creature is a Knight in addition to its other types. Put a vigilance counter on it.

IIW: Universes Beyond: Capcom

I used to live fairly close to the place where they kept the horses that they use for horse-drawn carriage tours of the historic locations in my city. These horses looked miserable and I felt terrible for them. Don't keep horses in the city.

Miasmic Cloud
Enchantment (U)
Whenever a creature attacks you, its controller loses 1 life.
: Miasmic Cloud deals 1 damage to each creature and each player.
"The vapors are omnipresent. Years of overcrowding and open sewers has resulted in a ubiquitous filth. I think I'll go to the countryside."
-Krok's Diary, Chapter 1

IIW: A card that Fblthp could be hidden in the art for.

Pestilence

Invisible Servant 1UU
Creature - Peasant (U)
Invisible Servant can not be blocked.
Whenever Invisible Servant deals combat damage to a player, create a food token.
Whenever you sacrifice a food, put a +1/+1 counter on another creature.
"Claude please laugh at Mr. Magnolia for me. He thinks the help should be seen and heard from." - Ickabod Vyrekdan's Last Words
1/1

IIW: Card that's flavor text involve someone's last words

Very nice. Slap a Worldslayer on it for a true "the butler did it" moment.

Stopwatch U
Artifact (C)
U, T, Sacrifice Stopwatch: Target tapped creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
"The latest in personal protection and time dilation!"

IIW: Alter-egos from another timeline/multiverse

Stop! Watch. Value? Minimal.

Read 'Em 3U
Sorcery (U)
Scry 2, then draw up to two cards.
Fuse

//

Weep 1B
Sorcery (U)
Mill cards until you mill a nonland card. Each opponent loses life equal to that card's mana value.
Fuse

IIW: Japan

I'm really into the "up to" in this card.

Winner: Ulka
Next: Card that's flavor text involve someone's last words

[vishamon]

Miasmic Cloud
Enchantment (U)
Whenever a creature attacks you, its controller loses 1 life.
: Miasmic Cloud deals 1 damage to each creature and each player.
"The vapors are omnipresent. Years of overcrowding and open sewers has resulted in a ubiquitous filth. I think I'll go to the countryside."
-Krok's Diary, Chapter 1

IIW: A card that Fblthp could be hidden in the art for.

Pestilence

Yes, this is a combination of Pestilence and Hissing Miasma. But it also doesn't sacrifice if you run out of creatures to kill.

[Krishnath]

Aether-Plant Overload XXRR
Instant (R)
Kicker 2R
Power-Plant Overload deals X damage to each creature. Gain X .
If the Kicker cost was paid, it also deals X damage to each player and planeswalker.
"Oops!" - Ujjwal, Aether-Plant Technician, last words.


IIW: Universes Beyond: Fallout

[Megiddo]

Miasmic Cloud
Enchantment (U)
Whenever a creature attacks you, its controller loses 1 life.
: Miasmic Cloud deals 1 damage to each creature and each player.
"The vapors are omnipresent. Years of overcrowding and open sewers has resulted in a ubiquitous filth. I think I'll go to the countryside."
-Krok's Diary, Chapter 1

IIW: A card that Fblthp could be hidden in the art for.

Pestilence

Yes, this is a combination of Pestilence and Hissing Miasma. But it also doesn't sacrifice if you run out of creatures to kill.

You can imagine what you just said as my judgment above.

[NinjaCaterpie]

Incidental Avalanche 4RR
Snow Sorcery (R)
Incidental Avalanche costs 1 less for each snow land you control.
Incidental Avalanche deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
"Coo-ee!" - Baz Dinnus, mountaineer, last words

IIW: Japan

[Sporegorger_Dragon]

Stinking Cyclops
4rr
Creature - Cyclops (C)
4rr: Monstrosity 1.
7/3
"What's that smell?" -Klatos the Brave, last words


Public Relations Disaster
2rg
Instant (R)
Split second
Target creature deals damage equal to its power plus its toughness to target creature or planeswalker.
"So what if you gave the rhino a laxative?" -Zali, Orzhov lawmage, last words


Decapitate
1bb
Sorcery (U)
Destroy target creature.
Flashback 3bb
"What duck?" -Cren, Wren's Run cullblade, last words.


Furious Gorilla
3rg
Creature - Ape (C)
Riot (This creature enters the battlefield with your choice of a +1/+1 counter or haste.)
Trample
5/3
"Give me that enema, I'll show you how it's done!" -Viom, Simic zoologist, last words


IIW: Yateveo

[vishamon]

Pestilence

Yes, this is a combination of Pestilence and Hissing Miasma. But it also doesn't sacrifice if you run out of creatures to kill.

You can imagine what you just said as my judgment above.

[mellifluoresce]

Sink Into Anonymity
Sorcery (R)
Target creature perpetually loses all abilities.
Delirium - If there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, that creature's controller reveals the cards in their library. Each card with the same name as that creature perpetually loses all abilities. Then that player shuffles.
"I am losing all sense of self. Soon I fear I may no longer be able to sp-" - unknown, last words

IIW: variants

[Cythare]

Temporal Crosscurrent 1WU
Sorcery (U)
Choose target creature. Its owner shuffles it into their library.
"Goo goo gaga!"
—Rogar Ironfang, high warlord, last words

IIW: Universes Beyond: Capcom

[Krishnath]

*Pokes thread*

[Phyrexian Editor]

Karoshi 2wb
Instant {U}
Destroy target tapped creature. Create a white and black artifact token called Black Kigyo with "1, t: Tap target creature."
"Let me work!" -Osamu Tezuka

IIW: More Sarpadian Empires flavor text

[Megiddo]

Vow of Silence 1WW
Enchantment {R}
When Vow of Silence enters the battlefield, draw three cards.
You can't cast spells.
"The cost of enlightenment is steep. However, I am willing to pay."


IIW: something using a Jumpstart: Historic Horizons mechanic. if you don't know what that means... guess.

[Ulka]

*Pokes thread*

I'm judging tomorrow

[Volrath the Risen]

Orzhov Bailiff
Creature - Human Rogue
Lifelink
Orzhov Bailiff gets +1/+0 for each Gold and/or Treasure token you control.
2/2
"Capital punishment means those without capital get the punishment."

IIW: Legendary Noggles

[spacemonaut]

Unexpected Threat BG
Instant (R)
Until end of turn, target 1/1 creature has base power and toughness 5/5 and gains deathtouch.
"Awww, what a cute little—"
— Hokuda, First Precinct Captain, last words


IIW: Alter egos from another timeline/multiverse

[Cythare]

@Ulka is it tomorrow yet?

[Ulka]

Ladies, Gents and Amorphous sentient slimes, Welcome to the 245th Annual Darwin awards of the Multiverse. give is up for youre MC for the night, the Mad Mage of Mount Baratok himself, Mordenkainen!!!!!!! (Crown Cheers).

Ummm Hello. I am Mordenkainen and tonight we will look at some of the stupidest beings through out the multiverse and their actions. First up we have this doosey: As we can see Ujiwal actidentially set the tempature for the aether harvesting cooling rods to 10000 C not 100.00 C. Its funny how a single decimal point can spell such doom.

Aether-Plant Overload XXRR
Instant (R)
Kicker 2R
Power-Plant Overload deals X damage to each creature. Gain X .
If the Kicker cost was paid, it also deals X damage to each player and planeswalker.
"Oops!" - Ujjwal, Aether-Plant Technician, last words.

IIW: Universes Beyond: Fallout

Next up we have Baz Dinnus, Famed Goblin Mountineer and little known FIreworks enthusiasts. It turns out combining his favorite past-times was not well advised.

Incidental Avalanche 4RR
Snow Sorcery (R)
Incidental Avalanche costs 1 less for each snow land you control.
Incidental Avalanche deals 3 damage to each creature and each player.
"Coo-ee!" - Baz Dinnus, mountaineer, last words

IIW: Japan

Now its time for... (Mordenkainen Whispers off stage) are you kidding!?!? I'm not getting paid en... GUh fine. (Mordenkainen addresses the crowd again. Well I guess its time for the lightning round.
FIrst up never insult a stinking creature especially if they are much larger than yourself.

Stinking Cyclops
4rr
Creature - Cyclops (C)
4rr: Monstrosity 1.
7/3
"What's that smell?" -Klatos the Brave, last words

I have no comment on this one....

Public Relations Disaster
2rg
Instant (R)
Split second
Target creature deals damage equal to its power plus its toughness to target creature or planeswalker.
"So what if you gave the rhino a laxative?" -Zali, Orzhov lawmage, last words

ouch how foul.

Decapitate
1bb
Sorcery (U)
Destroy target creature.
Flashback 3bb
"What duck?" -Cren, Wren's Run cullblade, last words.

Honestly I feel more for the Gorilla here...

Furious Gorilla
3rg
Creature - Ape (C)
Riot (This creature enters the battlefield with your choice of a +1/+1 counter or haste.)
Trample
5/3
"Give me that enema, I'll show you how it's done!" -Viom, Simic zoologist, last words


IIW: Yateveo

And this kids is why you don't play with Ilithid diseases.

Sink Into Anonymity
Sorcery (R)
Target creature perpetually loses all abilities.
Delirium - If there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, that creature's controller reveals the cards in their library. Each card with the same name as that creature perpetually loses all abilities. Then that player shuffles.
"I am losing all sense of self. Soon I fear I may no longer be able to sp-" - unknown, last words

IIW: variants

Oh my it looks liek one of my students is involved in this. Glyma, my Gnome appretice known for necromancy and teleportation magic wanted to learn some time magic. I guess I know why now.

Temporal Crosscurrent 1WU
Sorcery (U)
Choose target creature. Its owner shuffles it into their library.
"Goo goo gaga!"
—Rogar Ironfang, high warlord, last words

IIW: Universes Beyond: Capcom

Oh man this poor idiot really pulled a Sisaphus and kept trying to solve Taniyama' Problem but kept making the same mistake of not carrying the 1. Too bad he left the problem for his kid to try to solve.

Karoshi 2wb
Instant {U}
Destroy target tapped creature. Create a white and black artifact token called Black Kigyo with "1, t: Tap target creature."
"Let me work!" -Osamu Tezuka

IIW: More Sarpadian Empires flavor text

Ah yes the vow of silence the Famed Adventurer and Monk Tybirus Quickclaw took. It was very enlightening especially when his body caught fire from the knocked over lantern and he couldn't alert the monks to the fire.

Vow of Silence 1WW
Enchantment {R}
When Vow of Silence enters the battlefield, draw three cards.
You can't cast spells.
"The cost of enlightenment is steep. However, I am willing to pay."


IIW: something using a Jumpstart: Historic Horizons mechanic. if you don't know what that means... guess.

This is the unfortunate case where capital punishment led to the enforcer of the capital punishment to face the capital punishment after they forgot to carry the 1 on thier taxes. Turns out the Orzhov aren't too forgiving on that.

Orzhov Bailiff
Creature - Human Rogue
Lifelink
Orzhov Bailiff gets +1/+0 for each Gold and/or Treasure token you control.
2/2
"Capital punishment means those without capital get the punishment."

IIW: Legendary Noggles

And here wqe see an unexpected vilager learn about the expanding Froghemoths of Nythorid. they can be cute until they are hungry....

Unexpected Threat BG
Instant (R)
Until end of turn, target 1/1 creature has base power and toughness 5/5 and gains deathtouch.
"Awww, what a cute little—"
— Hokuda, First Precinct Captain, last words


IIW: Alter egos from another timeline/multiverse

Overall we had some excellent contendors but their can only be one supreme idiot of the year and that award goes to.... OKAY HAND ME THE FRICKEN EVELOPE LEON!!!! Sorry about that the winner I guess thats a way to put it is Sporegorger_Dragon for his Gorilla Enema!


NEXT UP: Yateveo

[Ulka]

@Ulka is it tomorrow yet?

Have some Patience Grasshopper

[Krishnath]

Just a tiny nitpick: To get a Darwin award, you need to remove yourself from the genepool completely. That means that 1. You can't have children. or 2. You remove your children from the genepool in some way* as well due to your stupidity.

*Technically, you don't have to die to get a Darwin award, you just have to do something that makes you and any possible offspring unable to reproduce. So, if you manage to do something incredibly stupid that sterilizes you and any offspring you may have, you can be nominated for the award while still being alive.

As such, Mordenkainen's comment on Karoshi doesn't make sense from that perspective. Unless of course the person who worked themselves to death caused their kid to sterilize themselves out of shame, but that would be incredibly stupid.

Edit: Anyway, on to the challenge at hand. (I had to look up what a Yateveo is, I went with the cryptozoological version from the 1800's)

Yateveo 1BG
Creature - Plant Horror (U)
Defender
Whenever a creature is blocked by Yateveo, the attacking creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn.
At the beginning of each end step, if a creature blocked by Yateveo this turn died, put a +1/+1 counter on Yateveo.
2/3

IIW: Universes Beyond: Fallout

[NinjaCaterpie]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Man-eating_tree

This is the first result when I google Yateveo.

Shambling Mound 1GG
Creature - Plant (U)
Trample
Whenever Shambling Mound becomes the target of a red spell, put a +1/+1 counter on it and it gains haste until end of turn.
3/3

IIW: Anarchy, bringing down the establishment, overthrowing corporate overlords and such

[Megiddo]

Verdurous Researcher 1GG
Creature — Plant Noble {R}
Trample
At the beginning of your end step, sacrifice Verdurous Researcher unless you pay GG. If a creature you control died this turn, ignore this effect.
Dr. Yataveo's invention — a synthetic fertilizer for any plant — was created from research into how to curb his own murderous urges. However, he still never turned down a free meal.
6/6

IIW: unusual professions