NEXUS FLAMINGO ☆ Exclusively For Custom Card Connoisseurs and Gnomes

[NinjaCaterpie]

The Fashion Police 2W
Creature - Human Advisor (R)
Whenever one or more creatures attack you, if any aren't equipped, draw a card.
1/3

IIW: Birds

[Cythare]

Originally, this tortured fashionista had planned to do a whole Devil Wears Prada thing for the impending 15-year anniversary of the movie's release, but I don't have time for that today and there are already a good number of entries. Instead, you will just be judged on a scale from 1-5 devil emojis, along with a corresponding Miranda Priestly GIF.

Entries

Show

Hide

vishamon

Show

Hide

Rick Owens Harness
Artifact - Equipment (R)
Equipped creature has soulbond.
As long as equipped creature is paired with another creature, each of those creatures has ": untap a creature this creature is paired with."
Equip

IIW: Graveyard mechanics

This is definitely impractical. If the creature doesn't innately have soulbond, you have to play another creature to bond it with. Once it's bonded, though, this feels like Deadeye Navigator lite. It obviously doesn't go infinite with ETBs, but there are plenty of ways to abuse soulbonding a mana dork with a mana sink.

😈😈😈😈

Legend

Show

Hide

Ichorspitter (Uncommon)
3
Artifact Creature — Phyrexian Ally
2/2
Cohort — t, Tap an untapped Ally you control: Each opponent gets a poison counter.

IIW: red reanimation

EDIT: Posted this and immediately realized it's for a past challenge.

You know this is for the wrong challenge, but you'll get a Miranda Priestly GIF anyways.

😈

Krishnath

Show

Hide

Alrighty then.

Peacock Robe 2
Artifact - Equipment (R)
When Peacock Robe enters the battlefield, you may pay 4, if you do, attach it to target creature an opponent controls.
Equipped creature loses indestructible and can't have or gain indestructible.
Whenever a player casts a spell that could target the equipped creature, that player must target the equipped creature if able.
Equip 1
"High fashion or crime against nature?"

Edit: Bonus Card!

High Couture 1
Sorcery (U)
Attach target equipment you control to target creature.
"You look absolutely fabulous dahling!" - Tavina, Paliano Fashionista

IIW: Disney Animated Canon (that means no Pixar).

I have very mixed feelings about Peacock Robe, but understand the intent. It also isn't worded correctly - see Standard Bearer for the syntax. I mostly just wish there was a way to equip it to an opponent's creature beyond the initial triggered ability. I'm not sure a symmetrical Flagbearer ability gets there otherwise, since it gets in the way of your own spells as well.

High Couture on the other hand is fine, although would be slightly more interesting at instant speed (and a higher cost) so it could function as a combat trick as well.

Peacock Robe: 😈😈
High Couture: 😈😈😈

Legend, Re-release

Show

Hide

Crown of Power (Rare)
3
Artifact — Equipment
At the beginning of each combat, you may pay X, where X is equipped creature's power. If you do, double equipped creature's power. This effect lasts as long as Crown of Power is attached to Equipped creature.
Equip X

IIW: red reanimation

This doesn't...quite work. The Equip X needs to be defined separately from the triggered ability, or you can just always pay 0 for it. I'm also not a huge fan of the tracking this requires. It would be easier if it somehow involved counters and doubling the power for each counter on it until EOT, then removing all counters when it detached? Still seems like a lot of work, but at least it doesn't have a completely invisible power boost.

😈😈

mellifluoresce

Show

Hide

Mizzium Corset
Artifact - Equipment (R)
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each instant and sorcery card your own in exile and in your graveyard.
Equip - Discard a card.

IIW: Turnips 2: Earthy Rootgaloo

I actually strongly dislike the Izzet mechanic of being able to care about the quantity of instants/sorceries in the graveyard and exile, because I feel like it disincentivizes interaction. There's no feasible way to remove cards from exile, and that's the zone that most graveyard hate sends things to. That being said, this is a gripe I have with Wizards, not with your design. I really like the rate on this, and it's a good payoff for a spells-matter deck that also wants to get into the red zone and a madness enabler.

😈😈😈😈😈

Sporegorger_Dragon

Show

Hide

I'm sorry

Mile-High Platform Shoes
2
Artifact - Equipment (U)
Equipped creature gets +4/+4 and has reach and trample.
When equipped creature deals or is dealt damage, sacrifice it.
Equip 2
"Now THAT'S high fashion!"


IIW: Ice Cream

I'm absolutely here for the pun. Mechanically, I feel like maybe this is best as a Crumbling Colossus-style trigger? The creature getting pinged for 1 and dying does tie into it being unwieldy, but the toughness boost should matter somewhat as well. Otherwise, the card seems fun to mess around with for sure.

😈😈😈😈

Megiddo

Show

Hide

Apprentice Couturier 2RW
Creature — Human Artificer {U}
First strike
Metalcraft — Whenever you cast an artifact spell, if you control three or more artifacts, put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control.
Your work, considerable as it is, is nonetheless unacceptable. Slag down and begin again.
—Belsus, Master Couturier
3/2

IIW: two card types

I really like this metalcraft trigger - it's clean and simple for an uncommon, but at a solid rate on an aggressive body. I also like that it's a cast trigger and not an ETB trigger, which invisibly raises the bar to four artifacts instead of three and keeps the rate from getting out of hand too quickly or having egregious synergy with token makers (which represent mass production - the enemy of couture).

😈😈😈😈😈

Pygyzy

Show

Hide

Outrageous Attire 3
Artifact - Equipment (R)
Outrageous Attire has all abilities of other equipment not named Outrageous Attire on the battlefield, except equip abilities.
Equip X1 X equals the total combined equip cost of other equipment not named Outrageous Attire on the battlefield.
It puts the rage in outrageous.

Iiw: Retcon Magic lore

I'm skeptical there isn't a problem here somewhere, but I'm not digging through all existing Equipment to find out. I do like that its equip cost increases accordingly as more equipment appears, but it's hard to judge the rate on it.

😈😈😈

Megiddo, Fall Re-Release

Show

Hide

IIW: Modern Horizons 3; Or, Your Custom Cube

We've discussed previous iterations of this card before elsewhere, and tacking an Ankh of Mishra to the back of a 2/1 is extremely strong. That being said, I do like the flavor of prepared creatures not being able to block it (although this isn't actually defined here).

😈😈😈😈

Ulka

Show

Hide

King's Regalia 2WW
Legendary Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature is a Noble in addition to it other creature types.
At the beginning of your upkeep, create a 0/1 Black Serf creature tokens.
Whenever the equipped attacks, create a 1/1 white Soldier creature token tapped and attacking.
Equip 2


IIW: a card that would make Meg smile

This makes a lot of tokens for free at a problematic rate. At the very least, this should need to be equipped to something to generate Serfs. I do like the flavor of this, though, and if the Serfs weren't automatic, I'd be fine with this rate.

😈😈😈

NinjaCaterpie

Show

Hide

The Fashion Police 2W
Creature - Human Advisor (R)
Whenever one or more creatures attack you, if any aren't equipped, draw a card.
1/3

IIW: Birds

Very solid, and the rate seems good to not completely mess with aggressive decks. The implementation of this concept is great.

😈😈😈😈😈

The True Devil

Show

Hide

HMs: Anyone with 5 devils
Winner: mellifluoresce, who designed the only Equipment to earn 5 devil emojis

[Megiddo]

apparently this means the next challenge is: IIW: Turnips 2: Earthy Rootgaloo
I think we're a year late on this one

[Krishnath]

apparently this means the next challenge is: IIW: Turnips 2: Earthy Rootgaloo
I think we're a year late on this one

A year late and a dollar short.

[Pygyzy]

Turnip Tree
Land (U)
T: Add C.
Turnip Tree enters the battlefield tapped unless you control no other lands.
When Turnip Tree enters the battlefield, if it entered untapped, create a 0/1 red Turnip creature token. You gain 1 life.
"But turnips don't grow on trees, you're probably asking yourself. Well, they don't anymore. At least, not like they used to. See, back in my day, there were turnip trees as far as the eye could see. Big, red, juicy turnips. We'd all gather 'round the turnip tree, collecting turnips, tying them to a rope, and carrying them around on our belt, as was the style, at the time. I got 15 turnips that day but Ol' Mel got 16! The whole town came see the turnips... Now, where was I? Oh yes, we'd wear the turnips on our belt, as was the style at the time..."

IiW: Jazz Hands

[Cythare]

Greedy Tiller RG
Creature — Minotaur Peasant (U)
Menace
Delirium — Whenever Greedy Tiller attacks, if there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, create a Food Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life." and "T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
3/1

IIW: Torrezon

[Krishnath]

Turnip Harvest 2
Sorcery (R)
Create a food token for each basic land you control and for each nonbasic land your opponents control. (They're artifacts with "2, T, sacrifice this artifact: Gain 3 life.")

IIW: Disney Animated Canon (that means no Pixar.)

[Phyrexian Editor]

Turnip Plot
Land {C}
: Add .
Equipped creatures have ", : Destroy Turnip Plot. Its controller creates two Food tokens." (Food tokens are artifacts with ", , Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

IIW: Gravity reversal

[Cythare]

Sinister Plot
Land (U)
Sinister Plot enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add B.
BB, T, Sacrifice a Food: Each player sacrifices a creature.

IIW: Typecycling

[Ulka]

Napus, Turnip Princess 1WG
Legendary Creature - Plant Noble
Lifelink
Plant creatures you control are Food in addition to their other types. (Food are artifacts with "2, T: Sacrifice this artifact: Gain 3 life.")
1G: Create a 0/1 green Plant creature token.
In a constant civil war with the self-proclaimed Turtle Kking, the Garden Kingdom only has her for hope.
1/5


IIW: Modern Horizons typed cards

[vishamon]

Turnip Rock
Artifact (U)
: Add .
: Add or . Spend this mana only to cast Plant spells or activate abilities of Plants.

IIW: Graveyard Mechanics

[void_nothing]

Just warning you all that the last time this happened the judgment was impressively %$#%

[Sporegorger_Dragon]

Turnip-Pulling Purloiner
2r
Creature - Dwarf Rogue (U)
Haste
Whenever Turnip-Pulling Purloiner deals combat damage to a player, gain control of target Food that player controls.
2/1
"NOT AGAIN!"-Jamul, Femeref farmer


IIW: Ice Cream

[Krishnath]

Turnip-Pulling Purloiner
2r
Creature - Dwarf Rogue (U)
Haste
Whenever Turnip-Pulling Purloiner deals combat damage to a player, gain control of target Food that player controls.
2/1
"NOT AGAIN!"-Jamul, Femeref farmer


IIW: Ice Cream

Best flavor text of Mirage right there, when I pulled one in my first Mirage booster I laughed for about a minute straight. But as funny as it is, the funniest card in Mirage Block is Ovinomancer. That card had me laughing for five minutes, by the end I had trouble breathing.

[spacemonaut]

Turnip Smugger 1BG
Creature — Troll Rogue Chef (U)
Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, create a Food token.
3, T, Sacrifice three Foods: Target creature can't be blocked this turn except by three or more creatures.
3/3
"Say friend, you wanna buy some roots?"


IIW: Blaseball and other surreal splorts

[Megiddo]

Just warning you all that the last time this happened the judgment was impressively %$#%

well now that you've said it, I'm sure this time it'll be even worse.

[Krishnath]

Just warning you all that the last time this happened the judgment was impressively %$#%

well now that you've said it, I'm sure this time it'll be even worse.

Can something really be worse than raw sewage? Let's find out!

Sewer Turnip 0
Artifact - Food
When Sewer Turnip leaves the battlefield, choose one -
• Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
• Target opponent loses 1 life.
2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: Gain 3 life.

IIW: Disney Animated Canon (That means no Pixar)

[Togs]

Turnip Elemental XG
Creature - Elemental Plant Food (U)
Turnip Elemental enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.
2, T, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Turnip Elemental: You gain 3 life.
0/0

IIW: Return to Saviors

[spacemonaut]

Blurnip 1
Artifact — Food (C)
2, T, Sacrifice Blurnip: Target creature with power 2 or less can't be blocked this turn except by creatures with haste. If was spent to activate this, that creature gains haste.
2, T, Sacrifice Blurnip: You gain 3 life.

IIW; Baseball and other surreal splorts

[NinjaCaterpie]

Turnip Up W
Sorcery (U)
Create a Food Equipment artifact token named Turnip with "Equipped creature gets +1/+0", "Equip 1" and "2, T, Sacrifice this permanent: Gain 3 life"

//

Eleven 3G
Sorcery
Target creature gets +X/+X, where X is its power plus 1.
Aftermath

IIW: Silly Aftermath card names

[mellifluoresce]

I was going to come up with an extensive bit but i'm too tired.

Turnip Tree
Land (U)
T: Add C.
Turnip Tree enters the battlefield tapped unless you control no other lands.
When Turnip Tree enters the battlefield, if it entered untapped, create a 0/1 red Turnip creature token. You gain 1 life.
"But turnips don't grow on trees, you're probably asking yourself. Well, they don't anymore. At least, not like they used to. See, back in my day, there were turnip trees as far as the eye could see. Big, red, juicy turnips. We'd all gather 'round the turnip tree, collecting turnips, tying them to a rope, and carrying them around on our belt, as was the style, at the time. I got 15 turnips that day but Ol' Mel got 16! The whole town came see the turnips... Now, where was I? Oh yes, we'd wear the turnips on our belt, as was the style at the time..."

IiW: Jazz Hands

who could let the best opportunity ever to introduce the color purple into the game pass by

Greedy Tiller RG
Creature — Minotaur Peasant (U)
Menace
Delirium — Whenever Greedy Tiller attacks, if there are four or more card types among cards in your graveyard, create a Food Treasure token. (It's an artifact with "2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life." and "T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.")
3/1

IIW: Torrezon

this one correctly established that turnips should be highly prized and valued

Turnip Harvest 2
Sorcery (R)
Create a food token for each basic land you control and for each nonbasic land your opponents control. (They're artifacts with "2, T, sacrifice this artifact: Gain 3 life.")

IIW: Disney Animated Canon (that means no Pixar.)

i should probably play with this in order to turnip get a life

Turnip Plot
Land {C}
: Add .
Equipped creatures have ", : Destroy Turnip Plot. Its controller creates two Food tokens." (Food tokens are artifacts with ", , Sacrifice this artifact: You gain 3 life.")

IIW: Gravity reversal

nomnomnonmhg turnipdgf

Sinister Plot
Land (U)
Sinister Plot enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add B.
BB, T, Sacrifice a Food: Each player sacrifices a creature.

IIW: Typecycling

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonip

Napus, Turnip Princess 1WG
Legendary Creature - Plant Noble
Lifelink
Plant creatures you control are Food in addition to their other types. (Food are artifacts with "2, T: Sacrifice this artifact: Gain 3 life.")
1G: Create a 0/1 green Plant creature token.
In a constant civil war with the self-proclaimed Turtle Kking, the Garden Kingdom only has her for hope.
1/5


IIW: Modern Horizons typed cards

mmm nobbly turnip dwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa###

Turnip Rock
Artifact (U)
: Add .
: Add or . Spend this mana only to cast Plant spells or activate abilities of Plants.

IIW: Graveyard Mechanics

Brassica is the name of my metal cover band

Turnip-Pulling Purloiner
2r
Creature - Dwarf Rogue (U)
Haste
Whenever Turnip-Pulling Purloiner deals combat damage to a player, gain control of target Food that player controls.
2/1
"NOT AGAIN!"-Jamul, Femeref farmer


IIW: Ice Cream

Vitamins Quantity%DV†
Thiamine (B1) 2%.027 mg
Riboflavin (B2) 2%.023 mg
Niacin (B3) 2%.299 mg
Pantothenic acid (B5) 3%.142 mg
Vitamin B6 5%.067 mg
Folate (B9) 2%9 μg
Vitamin C 14%11.6 mg
Minerals Quantity%DV†
Calcium 3%33 mg
Iron 1%.18 mg
Magnesium 3%9 mg
Manganese 3%.071 mg
Phosphorus 4%26 mg
Potassium 4%177 mg
Sodium 1%16 mg
Zinc 1%.12 mg

Turnip Smugger 1BG
Creature — Troll Rogue Chef (U)
Whenever a creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, create a Food token.
3, T, Sacrifice three Foods: Target creature can't be blocked this turn except by three or more creatures.
3/3
"Say friend, you wanna buy some roots?"


IIW: Blaseball and other surreal splorts

菘 (すずな

Just warning you all that the last time this happened the judgment was impressively %$#%

well now that you've said it, I'm sure this time it'll be even worse.

Can something really be worse than raw sewage? Let's find out!

Sewer Turnip 0
Artifact - Food
When Sewer Turnip leaves the battlefield, choose one -
• Put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.
• Target opponent loses 1 life.
2, T, Sacrifice this artifact: Gain 3 life.

IIW: Disney Animated Canon (That means no Pixar)

ark:/13960/t05x2tj6d

Turnip Elemental XG
Creature - Elemental Plant Food (U)
Turnip Elemental enters the battlefield with X +1/+1 counters on it.
2, T, Remove a +1/+1 counter from Turnip Elemental: You gain 3 life.
0/0

IIW: Return to Saviors

GongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýlaGongýla

Blurnip 1
Artifact — Food (C)
2, T, Sacrifice Blurnip: Target creature with power 2 or less can't be blocked this turn except by creatures with haste. If was spent to activate this, that creature gains haste.
2, T, Sacrifice Blurnip: You gain 3 life.

IIW; Baseball and other surreal splorts

A New Look at an Old Forage Crop. 1979. Pennsylvania Grassland News, Vol. XIX, No. 3.
Production of Turnips and Rutabagas. 1937. Beattie, WR USDA Leaflet 142.
Forage Brassicas for Economical High Grade Grazing. Alf Christianson Seed Co., Mount Vernon, Washington 98273.
Brassica Notes. G.A. Jung. U.S. Regional Pasture Research Laboratory, USDA-SEA-AR, University Park, Pennsylvania.
Those Brassy Brassicas. 1989. Karl Kessler. The Furrow, Spring 1989, Vol. 94, Issue 4. pp. 20-21.
Utilizing Brassicas for Fall Forage in Michigan. 1989. Rich Leep. Michigan State University, Cooperative Extension Service.
Brassica Notes. 1989. D. Undersander. University of Wisconsin-Extension. PC 15.4. 1.
Sheep Pastures for the Midwest. 1990. R.M. Jordan and G.C. Marten. North Central Regional Extension Publication 368. Minnesota Extension Service, University of Minnesota AG-FO-3237-C.
Species and Planting Dates for Second-Crop Forage Production. 1988. D.W. Evans, D.B. Bower, and T.A. Cline. College of Agriculture and Home Economics Research Center, Washington State University, Pullman. Research Bulletin 0996. 12 p.

Turnip Up W
Sorcery (U)
Create a Food Equipment artifact token named Turnip with "Equipped creature gets +1/+0", "Equip 1" and "2, T, Sacrifice this permanent: Gain 3 life"

//

Eleven 3G
Sorcery
Target creature gets +X/+X, where X is its power plus 1.
Aftermath

IIW: Silly Aftermath card names

One year, about a decade ago, Mr. O'Brien used onions instead when the turnip harvest was bad. "They were big Spanish onions, rock solid," he says. But midway through the various rounds, the outer skins began to peel off. "Fellows were coming back after winning with tears in their eyes," he says.

HT: TURNIP PLOT ARMOR
2021 TURNIP WORLD CHAMPION: TURNIP ELEMENTAL BY TURNIPTOGS
NEXT TURNIP PUNISHMENT: RETURN TO ̶T̶U̶R̶N̶I̶P̶S̶ SAVIORS

[spacemonaut]

magnificent

[Megiddo]

lmao

[Cythare]

The Burning of Jukai 1RR
Sorcery (U)
Sweep — Return any number of Spirits you control to their owner's hand. When you do, The Burning of Jukai deals damage to each creature equal to the number of Spirits returned this way.

IIW: Torrezon

[Ulka]

Kami of the Endless War B
Creature - Spirit (R)
At the beginning of your upkeep, lose 1 life.
Soulshift 1
"With the war ended, most kami found peace but some found they couldn't adapt.
2/1

IIW: Cards designed for draft matters sets