[joke] Craw Blade 2020 rehash!

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3drinks
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Post by 3drinks » 3 years ago

Inspired by @K405 on MTGS in 2011, back in the height of the "dies to doom blade" responses, was hyperbolistic players that complain about anything that was not big dumb creatures attacking fairly. This is a repost of that deck, and then latre on, how it would look today in the face of power creep. As a point of historical significance to this community, I figured it was worth bringing over here for the laughs.

So with all the talk lately on the forums about it I figured I'd give it a shot and try building Craw-Blade.dec The main goal of the deck is to get Craw Wurm and Greatsword in your opening hand or at least as soon as possible so you can swing in for stupid high damage with it. Since the format limits to one of each some improvising needed to be done. Here's what I've got so far.

As you can see there are some pretty potent synergies. Overruning after using Thriss on the Craw Wurm holding a Greatsword will pretty much assure you victory. And if you can't get to your Craw Wurm in time there is always Krosan Cloudscarper if you want to go for a really cheap way to win. Or even Grizzly Bears for something alot more fair.

Any questions or comments feel free to post them.

As for the general choice it seemed the best fit. It's a powerful effect, but it's not something just sickly over powered like Azusa. I mean 2 extra lands a turn? That's crazy. And land ramp really is out of control in general so no Kodama's Reaches or Harrows or the likes. As for creatures, no one likes to see Terrastadon or Woodfall Primus drop so no reason to include them. And for equipment choices, Argentum Armor is just to op in this format to run in a casual deck. Same with Quietus Spike and things that give flying.



Boom. Now the legacy of this meme will live on post mtgsally and on with mtgnexus.



Doesn't need it's own thread, but for the posterity of famed joke decks in true hyperbolic fashion, I thought I'd bring it over too. Originally created by @Shmo40 on @mtgsally.

The Ultimate EDH "hey man, RTFC!" deck!

Yeah ok Fusion Elemental isn't a legendary, yeah i know. But it's the only card in magic that really fits the beef. If i had to pick something serious it would be Progenitus.

A word to the wary: This is NOT a cheap deck.
Last edited by 3drinks 1 year ago, edited 2 times in total.

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darrenhabib
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Post by darrenhabib » 3 years ago

Yee gads Forest Bear is a $35 card!

It looks like you are trying to get tricky with Magebane Armor and making players have to read some text!!

Also giving creatures trample with Overrun seems like you are just a power hungry gamer and looking to win at all costs. Shame on you Timmy.

Gaea's Anthem is a must.

The deck doesn't seem complete without Giant Growth.

I prefer Marauder's Axe over Kite Shield.

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Post by 3drinks » 3 years ago

I think kite shield was a hold over from the original. The counterpart to greatsword. I kinda want to leave it as part of it's legacy. Besides, how else will you let your craw wurm swing past a titan and live to tell the tale?!

Giant growth might be perfect, over Overrun, but the surprise of an extra three damage, maaannnn that's way too OP! You trying to get me house banned or something? 😂

Freakin forest bear. I blame Ayula.

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Post by materpillar » 3 years ago

I feel like the general should be Hua Tuo, Honored Physician. I mean. if someone Doom Blades your Craw Wurm, then you just get it back!

Thinking about it, Yisan, the Wanderer Bard would also work. It would incentivize putting in some lower CMC creatures to keep up with today's rampant powercreep. Punish those Cabal Coffers players by aggressively tutoring for Skyshroud Elite. Make your Greatsword wielding Craw Wurm even more terrifying with Timber Wolves.

If those are too off theme at least consider the stick value of using Yisan, the Wanderer Bard to find Norwood Ranger into Grizzly Bears into Leatherback Baloth.

Amusingly enough, if the table is stupidly low power level, Yisan, the Wanderer Bard just pulling out Primordial Wurm into Quilled Slagwurm could actually put the hurt on people.


I also feel like Giant Adephage is exceptionally on theme with what this deck is trying to do, although it does have trample which is more text than most of the deck.

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Post by 3drinks » 3 years ago

If adding cards that look like text but really don't, I'd think Thicket Elemental is next on that list, in a similar vein as Root Elemental.

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Post by Ulka » 1 year ago

I need to know have you updated this list in the past two years? if so were there any creatures or equipment that made the cut

Note: I am only Resurrecting this topic from the grave as it was brought up in Pokken's roast of decklists
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Post by 3drinks » 1 year ago

Ulka wrote:
1 year ago
I need to know have you updated this list in the past two years? if so were there any creatures or equipment that made the cut

Note: I am only Resurrecting this topic from the grave as it was brought up in Pokken's roast of decklists
I have not. The idea of scouring Craw Blade for modern era power creep is enticing, but maybe not enough to actually put in the work. I suspect modernized power creep of this is adding a second colour, to that end, Kei Takahashi|leg because if you can save your craw wurm in combat, then surely you'll be unstoppable. Plus, adding w allows you to play such masterpieces as Siege Mastodon and the ubiquitous Squire|tsr, for maximal lolz.

...I've clearly given this too much thought.

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Post by void_nothing » 1 year ago

lmfao

i feel like Magebane Armor and Overrun go against the spirit of the deck
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Post by Ulka » 1 year ago

I was going to say what would be your thoughts on going blue instead so you can run Vizzerdrix? You get all the early crabs and such that said I think going Volo, Itinerant Scholar with the background of Raised by Giants would be super fun to lead the deck.
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Post by 3drinks » 1 year ago

I went back and found the other joke deck that came about shortly after this original cropped up. So that's been edited into the OP.
Ulka wrote:
1 year ago
I was going to say what would be your thoughts on going blue instead so you can run Vizzerdrix? You get all the early crabs and such that said I think going Volo, Itinerant Scholar with the background of Raised by Giants would be super fun to lead the deck.
Ewww, Simic. Gross. Maybe raised by giants with a green background guy. Or something with no synergy, like the one drop white dude that hits with toughness instead of power to stick with the Kei Takehashi ideologies.

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Post by void_nothing » 1 year ago

Yes, but adding black gives you the stunning power that is Yargle, Glutton of Urborg and the stunning toughness that is Catacomb Slug Rotting Mastodon
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Post by 3drinks » 1 year ago

void_nothing wrote:
1 year ago
Yes, but adding black gives you the stunning power that is Yargle, Glutton of Urborg and the stunning toughness that is Catacomb Slug
So what I'm hearing is...raised by giants + the dude that gives a randomized Oversold Cemetery effect.

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Post by Ulka » 1 year ago

I support that choice
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Post by 3drinks » 1 year ago

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Wow they actually made a legitimate option to power creep Craw Blade and I freakin love it 😂😂

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